Lost
by NikkiB1973
Summary: Regret can be a heavy burden to bear. Bella's marriage to Edward isn't all it's cracked up to be...set a year after the marriage in BD AU. Thanks to SweetbabyB for the challenge. Now on temporary hiatus.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-set twelve months after Bella's marriage to Edward in BD.**_

 **Chapter One**

Bella sat at the breakfast bar and slowly ate her cornflakes. She let a swathe of hair fall forward to shield her face from Edward. He was watching her eat with a half-smile on his face. Bella always felt awkward eating in front of any of the family. They didn't mean to but their intense scrutiny made her uncomfortable. She had finally mentioned it to Edward, and as he always did, he immediately set out to correct anything that made her unhappy. He banished the others from the room whenever Bella was eating, although he remained.

"Are you enjoying that, love?" Edward asked as he reached out to gently loop her hair behind her ear so he could see her face. He loved just watching her. She was so beautiful. He could sit there all day never moving, just studying every minute facial expression. He found anything Bella did absolutely fascinating. It had been a year to the day since they had married and he was more in love with his wife than ever. "I can get you something else if the cereal doesn't satisfy you. Your wish is my command."

"This is fine." Bella replied curtly. She saw Edward's face fall and she sighed softly. She hadn't meant to be short with him. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well."

"I know." Edward grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. The fine hairs on her skin prickled at his touch. "You were having another nightmare." His golden brown eyes darkened with sadness. "I am so sorry, my love."

Bella's fingers shook as she dipped her spoon into the bowl. She didn't want to talk about her bad dreams. She was a sleep talker which meant Edward would have been a witness to it as he lay wide awake beside her. "I'm okay." She rushed to reassure him. She hoped to appease him quickly before he fell into his usual melancholic mood. He always blamed himself for her nightmares. "I really am." She said hastily as she noticed his frown deepen.

It was too late. Edward began to withdraw from her. "This is my fault." He lamented. "I had hoped after some time had passed that the bad dreams would fade." His voice was thick with regret. "I did this to you. If not for my reckless actions…." Edward paused, reaching out to take Bella's free hand in his own. He raised it to his lips and pecked the palm of her hand lightly. "I love you so much."

"I know you do." Bella said quietly.

Edward's expression became more sorrowful. "You are too forgiving. I don't deserve your devotion. I really don't." He lowered his eyes to their joined hands. "But I am eternally grateful for it."

 _He would be a good performer on stage._ Bella pushed the traitorous thought from her mind before it could take root. She was just tired and feeling a little aggravated. She gently slipped her fingers out of his cold grasp and slipped off the stool. "I am going to take a shower."

"You haven't finished your breakfast." Edward lamented. "You need to eat."

"I'm full. I promise." Bella smiled at him weakly before she hastily left the spacious kitchen. The shower was the only place she could guarantee some privacy. It wasn't like Edward would allow his eyes to settle on her naked body anyway. There was a time and place as he was fond of saying. Bella emitted another sigh as she began to walk up the spiral staircase to their room.

* * *

"What do you want, Bella?" Rosalie questioned irritably as she pushed herself out from under the car. She had a smudge of oil smearing one cheek, but other than that the cool blonde radiated perfection.

Bella always found it fascinating that out of all the hobbies that Rosalie could indulge in, she chose to work on their expensive car collection. Bella had seen her pull apart an engine and put it back together within minutes. She was very skilled and self-taught just like….Bella didn't allow herself to finish that thought.

"I was wondering if you need any help."

"No." Rosalie said sharply. "Why don't you go and find Alice? I'm sure she's got something more interesting to keep you occupied."

"I'm not bored." Bella lied.

Rosalie smirked as she flicked her blonde hair to one side. She wasn't fooled. "Of course you are. You are one of us now….well kind of." She drawled. Her golden brown eyes roamed Bella's face and body. "Apart from the beating heart that is."

Bella felt her heart flutter in her chest as soon as Rosalie mentioned it. She rubbed her fingers over it absently.

"This is what life as a Cullen is like, sweetheart." Rosalie continued with a sardonic smile. "Ninety nine percent utter boredom. You should be happy that at least you can escape the tedium by taking a nap." She slid back under the car effectively ending the conversation.

* * *

It was lunchtime. Edward was watching her again. Bella chewed her sandwich slowly. The bread felt like ashes in her mouth. She wished Edward would stop staring at her like that. In the past he used to pretend to blink and breathe, but lately he had given up that pretence. He was like a statue of Adonis sitting opposite her.

"Don't you need to hunt?" Bella asked hopefully.

"Not if it means wasting one second away from you." Edward replied with an endearing smile. He rested his chin on top of his hands as he leaned forward on the table. He sighed contentedly as he watched her eat. "Are you enjoying that?"

 _I would enjoy it much more if you would let me eat in peace_ , Bella said in her head. Immediately she felt ashamed of herself. What was wrong with her today? Edward loved her. He simply didn't understand the concept of boundaries. He never had. A year ago she found his need to be in her orbit constantly, appealing. But now she was a year older, not so much.

"I was thinking of going to see dad." Bella said suddenly. She had broached this subject before, but Edward always shut it down, finding any excuse to put her off. But lately she had been thinking about her father a lot. She missed Charlie…and others.

Edward's smile slid off his face. His expression became inscrutable. "Maybe in the fall." He murmured.

"Why wait until the fall?" Bella pressed. Now she has started on the subject she wouldn't be swayed. "Isn't summer the best time to go?"

"Are you unhappy, my love?" Edward completely changed the subject. His eyes became bleak.

"I miss Charlie, Edward." Bella confessed. "Talking to him on the phone every three months isn't enough anymore. I want to see him. He has been begging me to pay a visit for months now."

Edward's sadness permeated the room. "If everything had gone according to plan then you wouldn't have been able to see Charlie at all." He looked up at her from under lowered lashes. "We are overdue on trying again."

The blood drained from Bella's face. The sandwich caught in her throat and she coughed. Edward panicked and immediately ran to her side and rubbed her lower back. Silently he passed her a glass of water. Bella drank it greedily, relieved when the cool liquid soothed her burning throat.

"Are you okay now, love?" Edward's eyes roamed her flushed face anxiously. It was little incidents like this that reminded him how fragile his wife was. "Carlisle is working on an antidote. He is sure he is near a breakthrough."

Bella pushed her plate away and stood up. "I need to visit the bathroom."

"I'll come with you."

"No, Edward…please." Bella held out her hands to ward him off. She tried to ignore the hurt on his face as she turned her back on him and walked away.

* * *

Rosalie didn't bother to knock she just walked straight in. She found Bella lying curled up on the ridiculously ornate four poster bed that Edward had purchased for their honeymoon night. Bella looked the picture of misery, but she tried to hide it as she raised herself up on one arm and greeted Rosalie. "Edward isn't here."

"I know that." Rosalie said testily as she edged further into the room. Her gaze travelled around the old fashioned décor and the ostentatious furniture. Edward always surrounded himself with pieces of his youth. It was like going back in time. "I saw him leave."

"Oh." Bella watched the blonde vampire warily. Rosalie never sought her company before. It was usually the other way around. Edward and Alice's company could be suffocating and Bella often used Rosalie as an escape.

Rosalie gave Bella a derogatory glance before she flung something on the bed. "I thought you might like this."

"You bought me a present." Bella said in wonder as she picked up the sleek black box.

"Hardly." Rosalie flipped her hair again irritably. "It's one of my old cell phones. I thought you could use it." Her eyes flicked to Bella's briefly. "You know to ring your dad or whatever. Edward won't know."

Bella held the box in her hands. Her eyes welled with tears. She was upset but she couldn't explain why. "Thank you." She whispered, but Rosalie was already gone.

* * *

The phone rang and rang but there was no answer. It clicked over to her father's answer machine. Normally Bella wouldn't leave a message but hearing her dad's voice at the end of the line, even if it was only a recorded version, made her speak.

" _Hey, dad it's Bella. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch…."_ She inhaled sharply as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She didn't want to arouse Charlie's suspicions by sounding upset. She tried to inject a sense of cheeriness in her tone. _"Yes…um…I've…I mean we've been busy. How are you? I hope your good…and everyone else too. I just called to say I miss you and…and I promise I'll call again soon. Love you."_

Bella ended the call. She felt more miserable than ever. She curled up on the bed again and hugged the phone to her chest. She was homesick. She couldn't deny it anymore. She wanted to see her family, to spend some quality time with them. That wasn't such a big thing was it? That's what normal people did. But then her situation was far from normal. Bella felt her eyelids drooping as tiredness set in. She was always tired lately. Before she dropped off she had the foresight to hide Rosalie's cell in the back pocket of her jeans just in case Edward came back from hunting while she slept and discovered it.

* * *

" _How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked solicitously._

 _Bella opened her eyes groggily and peered around the room blearily. She was in Carlisle's study. She was sitting in a leather backed chair with wooden arms. How did she get here? She felt cold fingers skim along her cheekbone followed by an anguished sigh. Bella turned her head to find Edward kneeling next to the chair, his handsome face full of woe._

" _What happened?"_

" _I came back to find you unconscious on our bed." Edward ghosted his fingers across her face again. "I should never have left you."_

" _I don't understand." Bella tried to get her frazzled brain to work. All she had done was take a nap. She looked toward Carlisle for help. It was only then that she noticed the IV attached to her left arm. Only this drip didn't contain fluids it was filled with venom, Edward's venom. Bella panicked. She tried to rip it out of her arm but Carlisle placed his hand over hers to prevent it. "Take it out." She begged. "Take it out."_

" _Bella, please." Edward begged as he drew her attention back to him. "Carlisle found the antidote. Just relax my love. This will cure everything."_

" _NO…NO…NO…." Bella screamed hysterically._

* * *

Bella awoke violently. Her body was caked in sweat. She shuddered as the remnants of her nightmare still taunted her. She felt a cold hand touch her face and she nearly screamed again before she realised it was Edward. He had been lying next to her, reading. He abandoned the book as he strove to comfort her, but Bella scooted away from him.

"Love, what's wrong?" Edward didn't hide his hurt. He looked at her with a pained expression. "You are still haunted by it, aren't you?"

"I…I need to go to the bathroom." Bella stuttered. She rose up onto shaking legs. Edward immediately went to follow her to offer his assistance. "I want to go alone." She snapped at him. She watched as he recoiled away from her but she wouldn't allow herself to feel guilty this time. She went into the en-suite and locked the door. Not that it would provide much of a barrier against a vampire.

Still haunted by her nightmare Bella pulled the cord and the bathroom was flooded with light. She hurried over to the sink and turned on the tap. As the cold water gushed out she splashed it on her face. She didn't feel much better but it helped. Bella breathed deeply trying to contain her hysteria and bottle it up like always. But for some reason this time it was difficult.

"It was just a bad dream." She kept telling herself. "It's just a dream."

Bella then made the mistake of looking at her reflection in the mirror. A ghostly visage stared back at her. Her skin was paler than normal, almost translucent. Her brown eyes were wide, haunted. Dark circles smudged the delicate skin underneath. She looked awful. She was dying by inches and she only had herself to blame. Bella turned away and put her head in her hands and let out a choked sob.

"Bella." It was Edward. He had easily unpicked the lock. He reached out for his wife and put his arms around her.

Bella rested against his cold, hard body unable to hide her unhappiness. "I'm sorry, Edward." She whispered disconsolately. "I am so sorry."

"Don't apologise my love." Edward stroked her silky hair even as he inhaled her sweet fragrance. Her scent was like a drug to him. He squeezed her gently in his embrace. "I understand. I do. Carlisle will fix this. I am certain of it. He's close to a cure. Then we can be together just like we dreamed with no barriers between us." He kissed the top of her head softly.

Bella shivered in his arms. A thousand butterflies took flight in her stomach. It wasn't desire she felt, it was nerves. His cold lips pressed harder into her hair before he pulled away slightly and placed them on the shell of her ear before skimming his mouth along her neck to the sensitive skin of her throat. Bella inhaled sharply as he placed a chaste kiss there. He drew back, smiling. His golden eyes were alight with suppressed passion as his fingers began to unbutton Bella's shirt.

"I can't. Not tonight." Bella grabbed her shirt before it fell open. Edward's expression had frozen. The light in his eyes died and he stepped away from her. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"Don't apologise." Edward said stiffly. He took her hand and kissed the back of it. "You should rest some more. You look tired. I wasn't thinking."

Bella didn't respond. She allowed him to guide her back to the bed and tuck her in like she was a child. He crawled onto the bed beside her and held her in his arms. Bella closed her eyes and pretended to sleep as she trembled in his embrace.

* * *

Another day dawned. Bella was at the breakfast bar eating some toast. Edward sat beside her, watching. She tried to concentrate on her chewing but found that the toast stuck in her throat. She tried not to choke.

"I need to take a shower."

"You haven't finished your toast." Edward said regretfully. "You need to eat, love. You are getting so thin."

"I'm not hungry." Bella mumbled. She hastily backed away from him as she headed for the bathroom to hide.

* * *

She spent the day in Alice's company, doing her best to hide her boredom as Alice dressed her like a mannequin. A huge delivery of designer clothes had arrived that morning and Alice wanted Bella to try them all on. The little psychic chattered amiably as she talked Bella through the latest designs and how much each had cost. The hours passed excruciatingly slowly as Alice tutted at how badly some of the outfits hung on Bella's tiny frame. She used pins to adjust the clothes, citing that she would need to alter them so Bella could wear them for the next party she was going to throw. The Denali's were due a visit and Alice planned on organising a big bash to celebrate. Bella was thankful when Jasper arrived to claim his mate. She rushed off to her room, tearing off the hated clothes as soon as the door was shut.

* * *

Dinner was spent with Edward watching her every move. He was worried about her. Bella knew that. But it was tiring keeping up the pretence that she was fine. Every time she raised food to her mouth he was there, scrutinising. Bella was sure he was counting every mouthful and bet he was reporting it all back to Carlisle. It was getting tiresome. She ached for some time alone just to breathe.

"I thought I would play your lullaby for you." Edward suggested with a smile when dinner was finally over. "Would you like that?"

He was trying so hard. He really was. Bella wished she had the energy to accommodate him but she felt so damn weary. "Maybe tomorrow, Edward. I have a headache."

Edward was crestfallen. He immediately placed the back of his hand on Bella's forehead. "I can get Carlisle to administer something." He offered.

"No, I might just sleep it off." Bella slid off the stool. "Alone." She said succinctly when Edward made a move to follow her. She smiled weakly to soften her rebuttal. "Why don't you take the time to play some of your music? I'll see you later." She didn't wait for his response before she hurried toward the stairs.

* * *

Bella shut the door behind her and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and just breathed, enjoying the moment of peace. She opened them again when she heard the strains of Edward's piano as he began to play. She sighed in blessed relief. He could get completely immersed in the music which was a boon to her as it gave her precious time to herself. She was glad he had taken her up on her suggestion. Bella headed to the four poster bed and perched on the edge as she simultaneously pulled out Rosalie's cell from the pocket of her jeans.

The phone rang and rang. Bella chewed her bottom lip as she waited apprehensively for Charlie to answer. She knew any minute now it would click into his answer machine. She almost gave up again but to her surprise the call was picked up.

"Chief Swan." Charlie answered wearily.

"Dad." Bella whispered.

"Bells…." There was no mistaking the surprised joy in his tone. "I was hoping you would ring back. You didn't leave a number for me to call you back."

"I'm sorry."

"I am so glad you called, kiddo." Charlie continued. "It's been too long."

"I know. I'm sorry." Bella apologised. A lone tear began to fall down her cheek. It was so good to hear his voice. It brought back memories of home. Forks was her home. Not this place. "I've missed you."

"Ditto, Bells." Charlie sounded very emotional which was unusual for him. "How are you?"

"I don't know." Bella's mouth wobbled as the surprising confession left her mouth. She sniffed back her tears.

"What's wrong?" Charlie questioned. "Talk to me, Bells. Has that boy done something?"

Charlie had never been able to say Edward's name. Bella berated herself for revealing that she was down. But just hearing Charlie's voice had sent a shockwave of homesickness through her heart. She wanted to go home. She wanted her dad. She could still hear the strains of Edward's concerto as he continued to play. Bella lowered her voice. "I miss you dad and I want to come home."

"I miss you too, kiddo." Charlie said immediately. His voice became serious. "I can fly up to meet you. Just give me the address of the house in Hampshire and I'll come and get you."

Tears rolled down Bella's cheeks. Charlie still believed the lie that she was in Hampshire attending college with Edward. When in reality they hadn't stepped foot in the place after everything had gone wrong. "I'm not in Hampshire. I'm in Alaska."

"Alaska." Charlie was stunned. "Why the hell are you in Alaska?"

"It's complicated." Bella sniffed again as she wiped away the tears from her eyes.

"Right, okay. Look your old man will sort it out. Just give me the address. I'll get there. Give me your number too." Charlie replied urgently.

The call was cut off abruptly. Bella bit her lip in agony as she raised her eyes to find Edward standing in front of her. His face was a picture of sorrow. "Why did you do that, love?" He chided her gently as he prised the phone out of her hand. "I know that you miss him but it's too dangerous for you to be around him right now."

"I'm fine." Bella insisted as fresh tears welled in her eyes. "I am absolutely one hundred percent in control of myself."

"Don't fool yourself, Bella." Edward was getting impatient now. "What if you go back there and the wolf pack came across you? You know the first person that Charlie will tell is the Black's. He won't be able to keep your visit to himself. Then we'll have Jacob Black to deal with. How do you think he will react when he sees you?" He pointed out.

"Jake is my friend." Bella declared stoutly. She could hear Jacob's words echoing in her head… _maybe even then._

"He ceased being your friend the day you married me." Edward retorted bitterly. He hated discussing his loathed rival. His patience was wearing thin. "You are not who you once were, Bella."

"I am me. My heart still beats. I have blood running through my veins. I have a soul." Bella knew it was a wicked thing to end with when she saw Edward flinch but she couldn't help herself. Her anger was building up in her chest. She scowled at Edward.

"You see you are losing control." Edward warned her. "You need to rest, love." His cold fingers encircled her waist as he steered her back to the bed. "Now close your eyes and sleep. Carlisle is close to a cure. I know it."

Those were the last words Bella heard before she went under.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story. I need to make an apology guys. I know some of you are frustrated that I seem to be bouncing from one story to the next. I'm sorry for that. My muse isn't co-operating with me and when an idea nags at me I just have to write it down or it is lost forever. I can only ask you to be patient with me; I promise I haven't abandoned the other unfinished stories. They will be completed; it just might take a little longer than normal.**_

 _ **Thanks,**_

 _ **Nikki**_

 **Chapter Two**

"She never called me back." Charlie couldn't hide his frustration as he paced back and forth in front of Billy. "I don't know what to do."

"So, she said she was in Alaska." Billy mused, frowning. He wondered why the Cullen family had relocated there. It wasn't a place he could imagine them choosing. But then again they were vampires, what did he know. They might act civilised but underneath they were still blood drinkers. He was thankful that Jacob wasn't at home. The last thing his son needed was to hear about Bella. "You'll just have to be patient, Chief. I am sure she will call again."

"That is not an option." Charlie put his hands on his hips. "I'm going to head down there and see if I can find her."

"It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack." Billy tried to make his friend see reason. "Just wait. I am sure she will be in touch soon."

"No, you didn't hear her. Bella was desperate, Billy. She was pleading to come home. I thought she was attending college all this time, and maybe too busy studying to come and visit her old man. But that was a lie. She's in Alaska." He shook his head in disbelief. "Why there?"

"I don't know." Billy wished there was some way he could help his friend. He hated seeing Charlie so upset, especially since he knew what Bella had intended to happen all along. It was heart breaking, but it hadn't been without considerable effort on all their parts to get Bella to change her mind. But she had remained stubbornly devoted to her bloodsucker, not even Jacob risking his own heart had made any difference. "There is nothing you can do, Chief. I expect she may have had a silly row with her new husband. You know what it's like being a newlywed, you're still trying to find your feet and get used to each other's little quirks." Billy tried to make light of the situation to make his friend feel better, but deep down he was angry at Bella for doing this to Charlie in the first place. Would her selfishness never end?

"You didn't hear her, Billy. Something is really wrong I can tell." Charlie began to pace again. "I've tried her old cell number but that was disconnected and I couldn't trace the number of the phone she used to call me."

Billy didn't know what else to say to comfort his oldest friend. Bella had chosen her fate and now she had to live with the consequences. She couldn't expect her father to bail her out. Billy wondered what had really happened to prompt this desperate phone call to her father. Whatever it was it couldn't be good. He was determined about one thing; he didn't want his son to hear about it. Bella Swan was out of his son's life for good and Billy wanted it to remain that way.

* * *

Bella woke up caked in a cold sweat. She sat upright pushing her damp hair out of her face. Her thin pyjama's clung to her skin. She shivered, feeling disorientated.

"Morning, my love." The heavy drapes were suddenly swept back and the room was bathed with bright light. Edward strode over to the four poster bed in one graceful movement, perching on the edge beside her. His cold fingers caressed her cheek. "You've been asleep for hours. Do you feel better?" He ducked his head down and peered into her face.

"I…I need a shower." Bella pushed his hand away. His touch was only adding to her chills. She saw his smile fade as she rejected his advances. She was too worn out to deal with his dejection. She climbed off the bed and stumbled toward the bathroom. As usual Edward was one step behind her. Bella turned, nearly colliding with his hard body. "I said I'm taking a shower."

"I was just making sure you didn't trip." Edward said, aggrieved. "I'm just trying to keep you safe."

Bella clamped her mouth shut as she forced herself to swallow her irritation. He had such a fragile ego. It was exhausting keeping him happy all the time. How had she managed to do it before? "I'll be out soon." She mumbled as she shut the door in his face. She leaned against it, her eyes closing in despair.

"I'll make you some breakfast then." Edward said through the closed door. "I love you, Bella." A moment passed as Bella failed to respond. "I said I love you, darling." He knocked lightly on the door.

Bella gritted her teeth. He wasn't going to go until she said it back to him. "I love you, too." She replied with difficulty.

"That's my Bella." Edward was placated now. He left humming to himself as he headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Bella stayed in the shower for a long time. She leaned against the shower wall, her eyes closed as the warm rivulets of water ran down her body. It washed away the sweat. She soaped herself down, trying to ignore the translucency of her skin tone. She missed its former creaminess. Tears began to leak out of her eyes, it mixed with the water as it dripped down her cheeks. Eventually she was forced to get out as the water turned cold. The sudden change in temperature was just another reminder of the life she had chosen.

* * *

"I have made you cereal, toast or a cooked breakfast." Edward said with false cheer as he presented the three choices to her with a flourish.

Bella wrinkled her nose. They all smelt bad, each and every one of them. She felt nausea well in her throat. She wasn't hungry. "I don't feel like eating right now." She pushed herself away from the kitchen counter.

"Darling, you have to eat. Your body isn't getting enough nutrients." Edward replied anxiously. He gripped her around the waist and steered her toward the bar stool. "Come on, I am sure one of these will be to your liking." He smiled charmingly at her. "I did go to a lot of trouble to make this for you."

Was he trying to make her feel guilty? Bella hid her scowl as she turned away from him and stared at the food. Her throat tightened at the thought of eating any of it. She pushed the cooked breakfast away. The smell of bacon and fried egg was only adding to her misery. She decided to stick with the toast. "What is this white stuff sprinkled all over everything?" She asked, puzzled.

"Vitamin powder." Edward replied easily. "Carlisle suggested it. You won't taste it I promise. Because you are not eating a balanced diet he thought it would be a good idea."

Bella rubbed her forehead as she picked up a slice of toast. She held it in front of her mouth, trying to summon up the will to eat it. She bit into it but it tasted like ashes in her mouth. She gagged. Edward quickly passed her some water. The same white powder was floating in that too. Bella coughed, staring at it suspiciously. "I don't want it."

"Bella, you have to…"

"I said I don't want it." Bella pushed the glass away with surprising strength. It flew across the room and shattered on the tiled floor. Her cheeks flushed as she saw Edward's face fall. "I need a shower." She slipped off of the stool.

"Bella, you've just had one." Edward reminded her. His expression was troubled.

"Well I need another one." Bella retreated from the kitchen, doing her best to hold herself together.

* * *

"Rosalie." Bella called out softly. She had descended down to the underground garage. Rows of expensive cars blocked her path. Bella wound her way through them as she hunted for the statuesque blonde. But she didn't find her. There was no sign. Frustrated Bella retraced her steps. On her way out she came across Jasper who was heading toward the garage. As soon as he saw her he flew to the other end of the hallway. His eyes became dark and he literally held his breath in a vain attempt not to smell her.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Your smell….it's particularly intoxicating today." Jasper drawled painfully. "You need to move on."

Bella swallowed thickly. Jasper always had limited control. It was rare these days that they encountered each other. He preferred to stay out of her way in order not to be put to the test. "Have you seen, Rose?" She dared to ask him.

"Rosalie and Emmet left late last night. There was some kind of altercation between Rosalie and Edward so Carlisle suggested they leave for a while to give each other some space." Jasper pressed his back against the wall. "You need to move on, Bella." His voice was strained.

Bella quickly did as he asked. She hurried in the opposite direction, her heart hammering in her chest. She felt suddenly bereft. This had to do with the phone Rosalie had given her. Carlisle had banished the blonde for going behind his back and allowing her communication with the outside world. She wasn't allowed to be around any human in case her immune system was compromised. As Carlisle kept saying she was too delicate and fragile right now. Her position was precarious. Bella's stomach churned as she ran for the bathroom. She only just made it as she threw up in the sink.

* * *

Charlie left Billy's still in an agitated state. He didn't know what course of action to take next. He knew his friend was right. Searching for his daughter in Alaska would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. He needed more to go on. He felt so frustrated and helpless. He would have to wait for her to call again. As he strode to his cruiser he passed the Black's garage. He noticed light streaming out from under the closed doors. Jacob must be inside. Charlie paused, toying with the idea whether to ask Billy's son whether he had heard from Bella. It was unlikely. Even though Jacob had been a close friend of Bella's, Charlie knew that they had parted on less then friendly terms. Bella had rejected Jacob and the boy was still nursing a broken heart. He hadn't seen Jacob much lately; he tended to avoid the house when Charlie visited. Charlie couldn't blame him. He supposed looking at his face stirred up feelings he would rather forget.

But Charlie was desperate. If Jacob had talked to Bella, then he could provide a clue to her whereabouts. It was a long shot but Charlie felt like he had no choice but to try. He marched over to the garage and opened one of the doors. Music blared out from a small radio stacked on an upturned crate. There was a pile of old tires heaped up in one corner and the concrete floor was littered with engine parts. In the furthest corner Charlie found Jacob. The kid had his back to him, minus a shirt as always. He really wasn't a kid anymore. The boy was eighteen and big with it. His muscles bunched as he leaned over the hood of an old Camaro he was working on. As he heard Charlie approach he stiffened, before turning around slowly and facing the older man. Charlie always got a shock every time he encountered Jacob these days. The friendly, open demeanour he was so used to seeing was long gone. Jacob's handsome face was always serious these days. He obviously hadn't shaved in a while. His hair, which he used to keep closely cropped to his head, had grown out. The black strands were unkempt and fell almost to his shoulders.

"Hey, Charlie." Jacob greeted him warily. He grabbed an oily rag and began to clean his fingers.

"Hey, kid. Long time, no see." Charlie replied with a tired smile. "What have you been up to?"

"Same old." Jacob shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I do for you?"

Charlie scratched his chin, feeling suddenly awkward and a bit guilty. This was a bad idea. But it was too late to back out now and he was desperate for information about his daughter's location. "Um…this is kinda difficult for me to ask, son."

"Best just to be blunt." Jacob advised.

God, he sounded like his old man. Charlie sighed heavily. It was now or never. "I'm sorry to ask you this but I need to know whether you've heard from Bella?"

The change in Jacob was instantaneous. Charlie watched as his eyes became bleak. Jacob turned away, his body tense, breathing ragged. "No, I haven't. I'm the last person she would contact." He ground out.

Charlie felt a fool for asking. He should have left well alone. All he had done was dredge up painful memories for the boy. "I'm sorry, Jake. It was a long shot. I shouldn't have asked." He got ready to leave.

"Why did you?" Jacob said suddenly. "Ask I mean?"

Charlie halted mid stride as he glanced over his shoulder at Billy's son. He didn't want to involve Jacob further. He had done enough damage. "It was nothing kid, just an old man missing his daughter." He shrugged hopelessly before resuming his way out of the garage.

* * *

It was lunchtime. Bella sat on the bar stool and stared at small salad that Edward had made for her. It looked tasteless and unappetising. He sat across from her, his chin propped on his hands as he leaned on the countertop. He was studying her carefully, taking note of each change in expression, each breath that she took. Bella felt like she was under a microscope.

"I'm not hungry."

Edward watched as she pushed the plate away from her. "You have to eat."

"I can't eat that." Bella wrinkled her nose in disgust. The salad leaves smelt vile.

"I'll make you something else." Edward suggested desperately. "You name it I'll make it."

Bella tried to rein in her irritation. She felt so tired. "I want to visit my dad."

Edward sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was an indicator that he was getting very annoyed with her. "We've had this conversation."

"I want to see him." Bella persisted as she began to get upset. Her hands curled into fists.

"You are not who you once were, my darling." Edward hurried to embrace his wife. He gently kissed the top of her luxuriant brown hair, inhaling her sweet scent as he did so. One cold hand slid down her back, tracing the curve of her spine as she leaned against his hard body. "I know this is hard for you. But you knew this would happen, that you would have to say goodbye to those you once cared for, including your family." He pressed his lips to her temple before grazing them down the side of her face until he reached her lips. He could feel her heart racing. It was beating too fast. It was like a tiny bird fluttering in a cage, desperate to escape to the outside world. "Let me love you, Bella." Edward became intoxicated by her. His mouth found hers and he began to kiss her, his fingers pressing into the small of her back.

Bella thrust Edward from her. He reeled away from her in shock. Her eyes were wide, breathing ragged. Her momentary show of strength was already costing her. "I am me. My heart still beats. I have blood running through my veins. I have a soul." She cried. "I want to go home, Edward. I want to go home."

"It's okay, my darling." Edward crooned once he had recovered his poise. Bella's eyelids were already drooping. He gathered her into his arms before she hit the floor in a dead faint. His face was determined as he carried her out of the kitchen and toward Carlisle's study. "I'll make this go away, Bella." He vowed quietly. "I'll make it go away."

* * *

It was hours later when Bella woke up. Her head felt heavy as if she was drunk. She had to force herself to sit up, her whole body ached. Again she was caked in a cold sweat. Perspiration beaded on her skin. She found Edward sitting beside her on their bed, his face a picture of misery.

"How are you feeling, my love?" He asked automatically.

"Awful." Bella coughed. Her throat felt so dry.

Edward handed her a glass of water. It was cloudy and there were remnants of the white powder floating on top. "It's only vitamins, Bella." Edward reminded her as he noticed her dubious expression. He sounded a little frustrated.

Bella was so thirsty that she caved in and drank the water. She chugged the cold liquid down quickly. Edward seemed happier now that she had taken a drink. "Do you feel calmer now, darling?" He enquired with a charming smile.

"A bit I guess." Bella admitted. In truth she felt woozy. "I need a shower." She mumbled as she clambered off the bed. As always Edward was hot on her heels. As she reached the en-suite she gave an exasperated sigh. "I said I'm having a shower, alone." She stated pointedly before shutting the door in his face.

* * *

They were talking about her, all four of them. Bella stood on top of the spiral staircase wrapped in a white fluffy robe. As soon as they detected her they stopped talking. Esme smiled in greeting as she floated gracefully up the stairs to meet Bella. Carlisle patted Edward on the shoulder in a fatherly fashion before he settled down on one of the expensive leather sofas. Edward waited at the bottom of the stairs for his wife to descend while Alice stood by his side. Jasper was nowhere to be seen. Bella had no choice but to accompany Esme down the stairs.

"Edward has written a new composition for you." Esme whispered to Bella in delight. She looked so proud of her adopted son. "He is going to play it for us after you've eaten some dinner. I made some pasta for you."

"I'm not really very hungry." Bella admitted.

"Come now." Esme scolded her like a mother hen. "A little bit of pasta won't hurt. You need to eat, Bella."

"She's right you know, love." Edward held out his arm for Bella to take so he could escort her to the kitchen.

Feeling hemmed in Bella followed Edward into the kitchen. The others stayed in the open plan lounge. Edward guided her to the bar stool and placed the bowl of pasta in front of her. Like everything else that the Cullens concocted it looked dry and tasteless. "Maybe I could eat better if you played that new composition for me." Bella encouraged Edward. She'd try anything to get him out of the kitchen so she could breathe.

A joyous smile lit up Edward's Adonis like features. He kissed Bella softly on the cheek before hurrying into the open plan lounge to settle himself at the grand piano. After flexing his fingers he began to play. Bella felt a rush of relief flow through her. The others were entranced with Edward's talent. They stood in a group around the piano making admiring noises and bolstering the golden boy's ego. At least for once she wasn't being closely monitored. Bella shoved the pasta in the trash can and began to hunt around for something else to eat. She found a packet of dry biscuits, they weren't very appetising but at least they weren't covered in the white powder. She crammed them into her mouth, one after the other. In the other room she heard the sound of applause. Esme was begging Edward to play something else. He obligingly complied.

Bella poured herself a glass of sparkling water from the tap and drank greedily. At least her thirst and hunger had been sated but her unhappiness still consumed her. She so badly wanted to go home. She wished Edward hadn't found Rosalie's phone. Now she had no contact….Bella couldn't believe her eyes. A small silver cell seemed to appear out of nowhere. It stood gleaming on the white countertop. That hadn't been there before. She would have spotted it right away. Bella glanced into the lounge. Edward was still playing, his eyes closed as he became immersed in the music. His family were still gathered around him. The only one who was missing of course was….

" _Jasper."_ Bella said under her breath, incredulous. Whether it was him or not she didn't care she now had access to the outside world, but this time she was going to make damn sure that Edward or any of the others didn't find it.

* * *

"Charlie asked me about Bella." Jacob revealed as he made himself some sandwiches. He had his back to his father as Billy was sitting at the kitchen table, carving.

Billy felt drained. He should have anticipated this. He tried to sound nonchalant. "He's just missing his daughter, that's all." He continued to scrape at the wood in his hand with his tools.

"That's what he said." Jacob continued suspiciously as he studied his father's profile carefully. "But it's odd that he should mention her now, especially after all this time."

Billy's knife slipped on the wood. He cussed under his breath. He avoided his sons penetrating gaze. "Shouldn't you be getting washed up? Aren't you picking Charlotte up at eight?" He asked, changing the subject.

"I was thinking of bailing." Jacob said moodily. He chewed his sandwich slowly.

"Oh, come on. She's a nice girl." Billy chided him gently. "Have a shave and freshen up. It'll do you good." He smiled encouragingly even though he felt far from that inside.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Jacob persisted darkly.

"No." Billy replied irritably. "There's nothing."

* * *

Bella turned the shower on full as well as the taps. They made quite a bit of noise. Edward was still downstairs with his family. Or at least she hoped so. She hunkered down in the corner of the bathroom and flipped open the silver cell. With shaking fingers she dialled her dad's home number. Charlie picked it up on the first ring.

"Bells?"

Tears welled in Bella's eyes at the sound of his voice. He sounded so concerned. "Dad, I'm…"

There was a gentle knock on the door. Bella flipped the cell shut and shoved it under a loose tile in the bathroom floor. "I'm in the shower." She called out.

"I have a nightcap for you, darling." Edward said through the closed door. "Don't be long."

"I won't." Bella promised through gritted teeth. Her window of opportunity to talk to Charlie had gone for the night but she still held onto hope that one day soon she would be able to try again.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Three**

Bella didn't have a chance to call Charlie again. Edward was with her constantly from morning until night. His attentions were becoming increasingly suffocating. The only freedom she had was when she took a shower, but as he remained in the next room she couldn't risk being overheard talking to Charlie on the phone. It was very frustrating and the waiting game was beginning to take its toll on Bella's already frazzled nerves. She was still struggling to eat. All kinds of food tasted like ashes in her mouth. It was awful. Edward would sit across from her scrutinising her every expression, taking note of every bite she made. Swallowing the damn food made her feel sick, but it was worth forcing the disgusting food down just to avoid another lecture from him.

It was late morning again. Bella had slept in as usual. She was always feeling overtired these days and lacked energy. She couldn't tell if it was from sheer boredom or her condition. It was probably both. She was in the kitchen with Esme. Carlisle's mate was making Bella some lunch. Bella didn't know why she was never allowed to make her own, but for some reason Carlisle had forbade her to exert herself. It had to do with another symptom of the mysterious malady that plagued her. Today she had insisted she would at least like to help Esme prepare the meal. It had been a hard won fight. Edward had finally relented after checking with Carlisle on the phone.

"Please, just don't over exert yourself, my love." He had begged her.

At least helping Esme meant she was away from Edward's stifling presence. He had retreated to the piano so he could play her lullaby for her while they cooked. Bella worked alongside Esme in silence for a few moments before she was convinced that Edward had become lost in his music. Once she was satisfied that he wasn't focusing his attention on her, Bella began to talk to Esme. She had always liked Carlisle's gentle mate, albeit the fact that Esme seemed so pliable. She adored Carlisle and was completely devoted to him as she was to all the family.

"Do you ever regret Carlisle changing you?" Bella dared to ask.

Esme appeared startled by this question. Her caramel coloured hair fell in fine waves around her lovely face. Esme always reminded Bella of a thirties film star with her soft curves and genteel manner. "I have never really thought about it."

"But if you had been given the choice?" Bella persisted.

"Well that point is moot, surely." Esme smiled serenely. "Carlisle wasn't able to alert me to what was happening. I was on the verge of death and unconscious at the time. He had to act quickly. It's different in your case of course. You were lucky enough to find your love." Esme touched Bella's cheek with gentle fingers. "Edward adores you so much, Bella. I thank my lucky stars that he found you. He had been alone for far too long."

Bella felt frustrated. This wasn't what she wanted to hear. Esme was avoiding the heart of the issue. "But you didn't choose this life. Just like Rosalie didn't. Or Edward. Carlisle made that decision without your consent."

Esme stopped what she was doing and gazed at Bella, perplexed. "The transition period is always difficult, Bella. Some of us struggled more than others. Rosalie and Edward in particular I suppose." Her expression softened again. "I know things have been extra difficult in your case but Carlisle is close to a cure. Once he returns from his medical conference I am sure he will have good news for you." She patted Bella's cheek before she resumed what she was doing.

Bella gave up. She wasn't going to get anything out of Esme. She was too close minded about the family she had built with Carlisle. She rarely questioned anything. Carlisle was like a god in her eyes and Edward wasn't too far behind. The piano playing had stopped. Bella noticed Edward hovering in the kitchen doorway. She wondered how much he had overheard. His expression was inscrutable.

"Lunch is nearly ready." Esme declared with a bright smile.

Bella felt her stomach churn at the thought of another hour spent with Edward watching every mouthful she ingested. A cold sweat broke out on her skin. Perspiration beaded on her forehead. She knew she was going to collapse. Before she went under she heard Edward call her name.

* * *

Jacob frowned as he pulled his cell out of his pocket. An unknown number flashed up. Who the hell could that be? He wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. Last night's date with Charlotte hadn't gone well. She had been pushing for him to meet her family. That was too much of a commitment for Jacob. He had been forced to end it. Charlotte hadn't taken the news well and caused quite a scene. She had sobbed all over him, begging for him to tell her what she had done wrong. He felt like a piece of shit. What the hell was he supposed to say? He mumbled the usual excuse that it was not you it's me; this seemed to upset her further. Jacob winced at the memory. Perhaps it was her father calling to tear a strip off of him. He aborted the call and it went straight to voice mail.

But seconds later the fucking phone rang again. He glared at it. Whoever was calling was desperate to speak to him. He aborted the call again and waited. Once again it immediately began to ring. Jacob's jaw flexed as he switched the darn thing off. But then the landline in the house began to ring. Whoever was calling was taking the piss. He heard the squeak of the tires on Billy's wheelchair against the hardwood floor as his father went to answer the call. It was too late now. He could always climb out of his bedroom window and escape but that wouldn't be fair to his father. If it was Charlotte's old man he was just going to have to deal.

"Jake, call for you." Billy hollered.

"Here goes." Jacob scowled as he marched out of his room and joined his father in the lounge. "Who is it?" He whispered.

"I don't know. It's some girl." Billy frowned. "Is she the reason you broke it off with Charlotte?"

"I don't know who it is." Jacob replied as he gave Billy an irritated glance. He put the phone to his ear. "What?" He said in a less then polite tone.

"Don't hang up." An unfamiliar female voice stated coldly.

"Who are you?" Jacob demanded.

"My name is Rosalie Cullen. I need you to meet me. I want to talk to you about Bella Swan."

* * *

Bella woke up with a raging migraine. She moaned in pain as she opened her weary eyes. She found Edward perched on the bed next to her. He was gazing at her mournfully. "You lost control, Bella." He said sadly.

"Lost control." She echoed him, confused. Her memories were fuzzy. "How?"

"You let your emotions run away again. When they get too heightened this happens. You have to stop doing this to yourself. It pains me to see this happen over and over again." Edward took her hand and held it to his cold cheek.

Bella was caked in a cold sweat. The pores of her skin were leaking perspiration as if her body was trying to expel something. Her clothes clung to her body. She longed for a shower. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"You need to rest." Edward chided her.

"I'm uncomfortable." Bella winced at the pounding in her head. She looked at Edward more closely. His eyes were dark, almost coal black. He hadn't hunted in days. "You need to hunt."

"I won't leave you alone." Edward vowed. "Once Carlisle comes back from his conference only then will I risk it."

"I am only going to have a shower then I will go straight back to bed." Bella said wearily. "Go Edward. Esme, Alice and Jasper are around. I will be fine."

"You need to eat." Edward insisted. He pointed toward some pancakes. "Esme made these for you."

Bella wanted to throw up. Even the smell of them made her nauseous. There was the same white powder scattered over them like sugar. "If I eat them in front of you right now, then will you go hunting?" She said tiredly. "Call it a compromise."

Edward gave in. It was obvious his thirst was great. He inhaled her sweet scent like a drug and finally nodded his head. "I won't leave until I've seen that you've eaten every last scrap."

* * *

Jacob wanted to crush the phone in his fist. But Billy was right there, looking at him curiously. Jacob didn't want to worry his father. So he swallowed his anger and curtly agreed to meet Rosalie Cullen in the Forks diner of all fucking places. He half wanted to tell the vamp to piss off but just the mention of Bella's name had sent his heart racing feverishly in his chest. God, he despised himself for his body's reaction. He ended the call, forcing himself not to slam the phone down in its cradle. Whether the blonde vamp wanted to speak about Bella or not, a Cullen was back in Forks and that had to be dealt with.

"Are you alright?" Billy asked cautiously. He had noticed Jacob's sudden tension. "Who is this girl?"

"No one important." Jacob said coolly. "I have to go out I've got some business to deal with."

"What business?" Billy questioned.

"Dad, I don't need an interrogation. I'm eighteen I don't have to explain my every move. I'll see you later." Jacob was barely holding it together. He needed to get out of the house before he wolfed out completely.

* * *

Once Edward had left Esme fussed over Bella like a mother hen once she had come out of the shower. She tucked Bella in like a child and then sat next to the bed, watching over her in case she needed anything. Bella was frustrated. This wasn't what she wanted. She had hoped that sending Edward hunting would mean she finally had room to breathe.

"You don't need to stay with me."

Esme smiled serenely. "It's no trouble. Edward didn't want you to feel alone."

"I'm fine. I'll just be sleeping anyway. You don't have to stay." Bella was getting desperate. She was saved suddenly by the sound of Esme's cell going off. It was Carlisle. To Bella's relief Esme decided to go to her room so she could speak to Carlisle in private. She told Bella to rest before she floated gracefully out of the room.

This was her chance. Bella waited impatiently for five minutes before she clambered out of bed and went to retrieve the little silver cell she had hidden under a tile in the bathroom. She immediately placed a call to Charlie, but there was no answer. She could have cried. She left a long rambling message on his answering machine. Her head was aching. She felt disorientated and knew she must sound drunk. This latest collapse had really affected her ability to function. The food she had eaten hadn't helped. Bella gave up. She was slurring her words now. She left her room, the silver cell shoved in the back pocket of her jeans. She was delirious and not sure what she was doing. She shook her head trying to clear it.

Bella wandered down the hallways, lurching from one side to the other. She didn't seem to be able to walk in a straight line. Her emotions were chaotic. She was scared, panicked, frightened all rolled into one. She stopped for a moment and held her hands in front of her face. She tried to focus her eyes. The skin on her palms was translucent, as it was all over her body. It was diaphanous. She felt so delicate, gossamer thin as if a light breeze could blow her away. She touched her face and felt the silky smoothness of her cheeks with the pads of her fingers. Bella pinched her cheeks turning them rosy, needing to feel the blood that ran sluggishly through her veins. Her heart fluttered like a bird inside her chest. Her head spun and she lurched forward again as she continued on her journey, going nowhere.

* * *

Jacob recognised the blonde bitch as soon as he saw her. He didn't need her disgusting smell to alert him to what she was. She stared at him arrogantly as she sat in one of the diner's booths. She wasn't alone either. Her burly mate, with muscles bulging under a tight t-shirt, sat next to her. He glared stonily at Jacob, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the shifters own potent odour.

"At least I don't smell like a funeral home." Jacob scowled as he sat down opposite the pair.

"Says the wet dog." Rosalie matched his scowl. She laid a hand on Emmet's arm to prevent him lunging across the table and grabbing Jacob by the throat.

"What do you want?" Jacob demanded in a low voice. He was having difficulty controlling his anger. Their smell was overpowering in such a small place. He was about to say more when suddenly a plate was dumped in front of him containing two large streaks. "I didn't order this." He snapped at the waitress making the poor woman jump.

"She ordered it." The waitress pointed toward Rosalie before fleeing.

Rosalie's scowl turned into a smirk. "I thought you might be hungry. As I recall you dogs have gargantuan appetites. Anyway it helps cover your revolting smell."

"Ditto." Jacob muttered. Damn it this vamp was good. The steaks smelt delicious. He began to help himself, chewing slowly as he stared at Rosalie and Emmet moodily. "You said you wanted to talk about Bella." He couldn't hide the emotion in his voice when he spoke Bella's name and he glowered.

Jacob's reactions were telling Rosalie all she needed to know. She dropped the sarcasm and became serious. "This is where she is." She passed Jacob a slip of paper.

"Why are you telling me this?" Jacob's eyes darkened as he looked at the slip of paper.

"I've done more than I should already." Rosalie said curtly.

"Bella made her choice." Jacob growled. "It's nothing to do with me."

"Go or don't go. It's up to you." Rosalie motioned to Emmet that they were leaving. "But if you do still care then call the number at the bottom of the address when you get there. They'll bring Bella to you."

Before Jacob could respond or demand more answers Rosalie and her mate swept out of the diner leaving Jacob to pick up the tab for the meal he never wanted.

* * *

Bella found herself outside Carlisle's study. She had only ever been inside a few times since they had all relocated to Alaska. It was a carbon copy of the one he had in Forks. She tried the door, already knowing it would be locked. She didn't know why he bothered. The house was filled with vamps, they could get in easily. Frustrated she rattled the door handle. It wouldn't budge. Damn it! She had a sudden urge to see what was inside. It was very rare for Carlisle and Edward to be out of the house. This was the perfect opportunity to nose around. Bella's head spun. She really should be in bed, but this opportunity was too good to miss. If only she could get in. Bella flexed her fingers and gripped the brass doorknob with both hands. She felt a surge of adrenaline run through her frail body, and like the time when she had managed to thrust Edward away from her, Bella broke the lock. The door swung open and she fell inside the room in a dead faint.

* * *

Even that small effort had cost her. Bella didn't know how long she had been out. It could have been seconds or hours. But the fact that she was still alone pointed to the former. She struggled to rise, her body shivering with fear. Once again her skin was caked in a cold sweat. Bella shut the door behind her. She peered blearily around Carlisle's study. The first thing that stood out was the enormous portrait of the Volturi castle. It was a painting that had once hung in the replica study in Forks. It showed the three Volturi leaders, Aro in the centre with Marcus and Caius flanking him, standing on a huge balcony overlooking their domain. Carlisle, dressed in the same flamboyant clothing of the period, stood alongside them.

"I forgot you were a kept boy once." Bella muttered under her breath. She tore her eyes away from the elaborate portrait and wandered around the room. Huge tomes filled the wooden bookshelves from floor to ceiling. With all the modern technology at his disposal Carlisle still liked to record his medical notes the old fashioned way. The bookshelves held centuries of research. The thought was mind boggling.

Bella's attention was drawn to a huge leather chair which was set in front of Carlisle's heavy oak desk. It was somehow familiar. There was a tall metal pole next to it, something that you could possibly hang a saline drip on. A memory pricked at the back of Bella's frazzled brain but she couldn't get it to materialise. She sighed heavily. There was nothing to see here. She was about to leave when she caught sight of a locked cabinet in the far corner of the room. A light was shining through the cracks and there was a faint humming coming from it like you would get from a freezer or something. Bella approached it curiously, hugging her arms across her chest. She inspected it closely. She could feel the chill emanating from it. Bella tried to prise the doors open but like the study it was locked. She rattled them in frustration.

"Damn." Bella hunted around for a key or something. She tried several of the drawers in Carlisle's desk but they were sealed as tight as a drum too. Bella cussed in irritation as she faced the cabinet. She could probably force the doors apart but it would cost her. If she collapsed in Carlisle's study and Edward found her there would be all sorts of questions. Anger welled up inside her and Bella did a scissor kick with her legs. Her boot slammed into the doors making the whole cabinet rattle alarmingly. She did it again and again. She let out all her frustration on the thing. She could feel her eyelids drooping. She was slipping away. She grunted in anger as she kicked out at the cabinet one last time. The doors finally flew open revealing what was inside.

There were dozens of vials lined up in neat rows filled with specimens. Bella fell against the cabinet. The vials rattled. She was going, her eyes were closing. She tried to see what was written on the tubes in Carlisle's neat writing. " _Hold on, just hold on."_ She pleaded in her mind.

There were several vials of her blood with her name and the date they were taken recorded on the front. Her eyes travelled along the glass bottles. There were other names she didn't recognise. Some of the glass bottles were filled with strange coloured liquids that gave off an effervescent smell. Bella felt sick. She was going under. She grabbed onto the cabinet to hold herself upright. She forced her lids to stay open as she read other names on the other samples of blood. One she did recognise other than her own. She gasped as she fell onto the floor, her world spinning on its head. The study door opened on silent hinges and a small figure emerged. Bella's vision was swimming. Someone hovered over her.

"Alice?"

"I saw a vision of you coming in here." Alice whispered as she hunkered down beside Bella and touched her forehead. "You shouldn't have come in here." She said regretfully.

Bella tried to form words but she couldn't fight the darkness anymore. She closed her eyes and slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Jacob was so fucking angry. How dare the blonde bitch put him in this position? He had cut all ties with Bella as soon as she left to go on her honeymoon. How many nights had he spent grieving for her? As soon as she left he had to accept that she was dead to him. It hurt, it fucking hurt. He had been a mess for so long as he wallowed in darkness. Without his dad, without the pack he would have drowned in his sorrow. But eventually he managed to pick up the pieces of his broken heart and begin to live a semblance of a life. He had banished Bella from his mind. It was his only way of coping. It was an unspoken rule that none of the pack ever mentioned her name. Only Billy dared to upon occasion if he noticed Jacob struggling. Jacob avoided Charlie. It was just too hard to be around the guy. It was like a constant reminder of what he had lost. But now this….

Bella was a vampire wasn't she? That had been the intention when she left. His skin burned as he relived their last argument, the one where she had told him that she was going to delay the change and have a proper honeymoon with the leech. He had initially thought it was a sick joke, that she was taunting him, but it wasn't. He had been so damn angry. He had tried to attack Edward but his brothers had hauled him away. He had never seen Bella again. It stuck in his craw that this was his last ever memory of her. Why would the blonde bitch do this? Jacob couldn't understand it. Her message had been cryptic. She had explained nothing at all.

Jacob wanted to ignore it. The vamps were gone now. He could just rip up the slip of paper and burn the pieces never to think of it again. _But what if…what if…what if…_

 _What if Bella had changed her mind and was crying out for his help?_

Jacob was in torment. He couldn't handle it. She had made her choice. She had rejected him. If her happily ever after had turned sour it wasn't his problem. Why should he be forced to ride to her rescue? But the _love_ was still there, beating like a drum underneath the hurt ripping his heart to shreds. He hated that even after all she had done to him he still fucking loved her so damn much.

* * *

Jacob slept on it overnight, or tried to anyway. It really meant he laid awake worrying and tormenting himself with what ifs. As the new day dawned he finally came to a decision. He couldn't handle this alone. He already knew what his brothers would say. He could hear Sam's lecturing voice telling him to leave well alone. He thought of his father. Billy would try to understand but in the end he would advise the same. _Walk away, son. Just walk away._ No, there was only one person who would relate to what he was going through and that was Charlie Swan. With this resolution in mind Jacob went to see Bella's father.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thanks for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Four**

When Jacob arrived at the Swan house to see Bella's father he found Charlie on his way out. He was loading some gear into the back of the cruiser as if he was planning to go somewhere. Charlie stopped what he was doing when he noticed Jacob and hailed him wearily. The older man looked like he hadn't slept all night. Something was clearly worrying him. Jacob could guess what it was. The reason for the Chief's odd conversation with him from a few days ago made sense now.

"I can't stay and talk, Jake. I've got a plane to catch."

"Where are you going?" Jacob asked cautiously.

Charlie looked furtive as he finished loading the cruiser. "I'm just going away for a while. I'm due some extended leave from work, so…." He shrugged as if it was no big deal. "You can tell Billy that I'll call him when I'm due back."

"You're not going to Alaska by any chance, are you?" Jacob decided to throw caution to the winds. He saw Charlie's face pale. "Bella's there isn't she."

"I thought you said you hadn't spoken to Bella." Charlie replied urgently.

"I haven't."

"Then how do you know she's in Alaska?" Charlie studied Jacob carefully.

Jacob answered Charlie's question with one of his own. "Is Bella in trouble, Charlie?"

Bella's father sagged against the side of the car. He ran his fingers through his hair. It was beginning to grey now. "I didn't want to involve you, son. Especially with how things were left between you and Bella, but I'm at my wits end. Come with me."

"Okay." Jacob waited as Charlie went back to the house and unlocked the front door. He flipped on a few lights as he headed straight to the phone. "Bella has been trying to contact me for days. But she kept getting cut off. She sounds desperate. She keeps saying she wants to come home. All I could get out of her was that she was in Alaska somewhere. Then the other night I got this message left on my answerphone."

Charlie played the message. Jacob hadn't really prepared himself to hear Bella's voice again. It hit him like an arrow straight to the heart. It was made worse by how frightened she sounded. Charlie hadn't been exaggerating. Some of her words were slurred as she rambled about missing Charlie and wanting to come home.

" _I can't move here without someone always watching. It's suffocating. I just want to come home, dad." There was a stifled sob. "Please dad come and get me. I'm begging you…"_

Jacob's whole body shuddered as he listened to her begging Charlie to come and rescue her. What the hell had the fucking bloodsucker done to put her in this state? Jacob was convinced just by the sound of her voice that she was still human. If she was one of them she could leave at any time. Cullen and his coven wouldn't be able to stop her. They had her trapped and she had no way of escaping. It had to be bad for Rosalie Cullen to break ranks and make contact with him. Jacob knew that Bella wasn't close to the blonde; they rubbed each other up the wrong way. She had given him an address but no information. Jacob knew he had to pull himself together and focus. Any doubts he had about getting involved with Bella again were gone.

The message came to an abrupt end as if the call had been cut off. Jacob noticed how sick Charlie looked. If it was having a bad effect on him it must be even worse for Bella's father. It was time to speak up. "When we had our last conversation I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't heard from Bella." He revealed.

"But you have now?" Charlie asked hopefully.

"Not from her directly, but I have an address." Jacob hurriedly passed Charlie the slip of paper.

"Denali." Charlie raised his eyes to Jacob's. "You don't know what this means. You're a saviour Jake. I was going to head to Anchorage and make some enquiries from there but now I can head straight here. Thanks kid."

"You can't do this alone, Charlie." Jacob interjected hurriedly. "I'm coming with you."

"No." Charlie shook his head adamantly. "I've already involved you too much. I'll find Bells and bring her home."

Jacob gazed at Charlie determinedly. "You don't really have a say in what I do, Charlie. I'm coming whether you like it or not. You have no idea what you're dealing with and you'll need my help."

Charlie frowned. "This isn't some kind of covert operation, Jake. I am not rescuing my daughter from a cult."

"That's exactly what you'll be doing. If you don't take me they'll see you coming. With me along for the ride you'll have a chance." Jacob stated firmly.

"What the hell does that mean?" Charlie scowled.

"It means you better book an extra flight." Jacob replied as he pulled out his cell to call his dad.

* * *

Bella's eyelids fluttered open. Her head was banging. She moaned softly. Her skin was caked in a cold sweat. She could feel her clothes clinging to her body. She felt absolutely rotten. She raised her hand to her forehead and rubbed her temples. Suddenly Edward's face swam into view as he hovered above her. His eyes were a golden brown which meant his hunt had been successful. His expression was full of love as he carefully slipped his arm underneath her and pulled her up against his hard body. The movement hurt Bella's head and she moaned again.

"Is it really bad?" Edward asked gently as he touched her forehead.

"What happened to me?" Bella whispered. She stared around blearily. She recognised their room. She was sitting on the ornate four-poster with Edward. How had she gotten here? She couldn't remember. Her memories were hazy. She must have been having nightmares again.

"You were having a bad dream when I came back." Edward said sadly. He caressed her forehead as he tried to ease her pain. "Esme was trying to settle you but was finding it difficult."

Bella was confused. None of it made sense. She tried to remember what she had been doing. Vague images of Carlisle's study came into her mind. Had she been dreaming of it? If so why? "I need to take a shower."

"Not now, my love." Edward crooned. He pressed a soft kiss into her silky hair. His fingers left her forehead and drifted along her cheekbone. Bella heard him inhale deeply as he breathed in her scent. "I thought we could spend this time together. I miss touching you." He pressed another kiss into her hair. "You are so intoxicating." He sighed dreamily. "I love how smooth your skin feels. Your lips, your…."

"I said I need a shower." Bella said shakily as she scooted away from him. She saw his eyes darken at her rejection. She tried to ignore his dour expression as she walked unsteadily to the bathroom.

* * *

Bella closed the door and used it as a shield between them. She knew he was still on the other side, probably listening to every breath she took, every sound she made. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she dropped to her knees and crawled toward the loose tile. She lifted it, checking for the silver cell phone but it was gone. Tears welled in her eyes at the empty space. He had found it. Her last connection to the outside world and Charlie was gone. Bella sat back on her haunches, suddenly aware of something digging in her butt. She reached around and fumbled with the back pocket of her jeans. Her fingers connected with something hard and rectangular. She pulled it out and to her relief she found it was the phone. What was it doing there? Her mind became fuzzy as she tried to think but she just couldn't remember.

"Bella, I can't hear the water running. Are you alright?" Edward was already fumbling with the door handle.

Bella quickly hid the small cell under the loose tile before hastily turning on the shower. "I'm just going in now. You don't need to come in."

Edward emitted a frustrated sigh. "I'll just wait right here then." He said through the door.

Bella began to cry silent tears.

* * *

Another day passed. _Breakfast, lunch, dinner_ …Edward watched her like a hawk. He took note of every mouthful she ingested. She felt like a specimen under a microscope. Bella saw no one else all day. There was no sign of Esme, Alice or Jasper. It was just her and Edward. Carlisle was still at his medical conference and Rosalie and Emmet were still missing. Bella felt stifled and on edge. The food tasted like ashes in her mouth. Each meal was sprinkled with the same white powder that Edward insisted was vitamins prescribed by Carlisle.

It was late evening. Edward was sitting at the piano with Bella beside him. He wanted to recreate one of their most romantic moments. "Do you remember when I first played your lullaby for you?" He said dreamily.

"Yes." Bella was trying not to be sick. She had just forced down a portion of vegetable lasagne. Each mouthful had stuck in her throat. The last thing she felt like doing was reliving Edward's idyllic memory of their romantic encounter. Bella could barely remember it.

Edward tickled the ivories with skilful fingers before he closed his eyes and began to play in earnest. He was soon lost in the music. He swayed slightly, his fingers stroking the keys as he replayed the lullaby over and over again. Bella watched him, feeling pensive. To any human eye he looked like an Adonis. But she knew better. She was viewing him with fresh eyes. Her rose coloured glasses had been removed months ago. Her lullaby reached a crescendo, Edward swayed again, opening his eyes and staring at her hungrily. The music ended abruptly. Edward reached out and cupped Bella's face delicately between the palms of his hands. His touch chilled her to the bone.

"You are so ravishing." Edward breathed her in. He inclined his head toward hers, his lips aiming for her mouth. But at the last moment Bella turned her head and they landed on her cheek. He drew back sharply. "Why?" He questioned. "Why do you shy away from me?"

Bella didn't know what to say without sounding insulting. He was angry and she didn't want to arouse him further. "I'm tired, Edward. I need a shower." Her skin was already breaking out into a cold sweat. Edward's eyes travelled to the beads of perspiration coating her forehead and his jaw flexed. "How does this keep happening?" His jaw became tight.

"What do you mean?" Bella put some space between them. He was getting irate which was a rare occurrence. Normally he was so carefully controlled around her. But her behaviour was obviously testing his unlimited patience.

"Carlisle will find a cure." Edward didn't seem to hear her. His expression softened and he closed the gap between them. "Forgive me, darling. I didn't mean to snap. I just want you to be well."

"I need to take a shower." Bella felt like a broken record. She extricated herself from his embrace and stood up. Edward began to rise too. "No, you keep playing. I won't be long." She smiled tremulously before hurrying toward the spiral staircase.

As she trudged up the steps she came across Alice on her way down. Their eyes met and suddenly Bella remembered.

* * *

Two days later and Charlie and Jacob reached Anchorage. They checked into their rooms before meeting up again to discuss their next move. Charlie assumed they would hire a car and drive the rest of the way but Jacob put a block on this. "Why not?" He demanded. He didn't hide his frustration. He was getting weary of Jacob's cryptic responses.

"I'm going to make a call." Jacob avoided answering directly. He pulled out his cell and walked a few feet away from Bella's father.

Charlie gritted his teeth. He hated being kept in the dark. Jacob was a man now, which had been demonstrated on the journey to Alaska. He had taken control of the whole enterprise. Charlie hardly recognised the boy he once knew. This Jacob was hard, determined. He was fully focused on what he was doing and seemed to expect Charlie to follow his orders as if he was the one in charge. Which considering the fact that he had been following Jacob's lead all the way to Anchorage meant that somewhere along the line he had allowed the kid to take over.

Charlie remembered the call Jacob had made to Billy. That had been tough to overhear. It was obvious his friend was trying to talk Jacob out of it. Which Charlie could understand but at the same time he still felt hurt that Billy was so adamant that he didn't want Jacob to help him recover his only child from a difficult situation. He knew their break up had been hard. Jacob had really suffered after Bella had left but he had gotten himself together. He was older now, more mature. Charlie felt Billy needed to let go a bit and realise that his son had a mind of his own. He was certainly learning that now. There were depths to Billy's son that Charlie had never realised. Nothing seemed to faze him.

The call Jacob made was short. He was back within five minutes. "Now we wait." He told Charlie.

"Wait for what? You have to give me more than that, kid." Charlie put his hands on his hips and glared up at Jacob. The boy was so darn tall. He craned his neck.

"That's all I've got, chief." Jacob said curtly as he began to head for the nearest eating place.

Charlie shook his head in disbelief. He pulled his thick jacket tighter around his body. It was freezing. Jacob was only wearing a light coat. He didn't seem to feel the cold at all. Charlie felt his age all of a sudden. Here he was, a middle aged man, and a police chief to boot and he was taking orders from a teenager. There was something wrong with that somewhere. But as he followed behind Jacob, Charlie had to admit to himself that he was glad that Billy's kid had taken charge. He had been floundering on his own. Now he had someone to share the burden with and that made a whole lot of difference.

* * *

Bella turned the shower on full so the water came gushing out. She hoped the noise would mask any movements she made. She knew Edward was in their bedroom. There was no way he would allow her to go around unsupervised. Bella fell to her knees and lifted the loose tile. The small cell was there. She tugged it out and turned it on. Seconds later the screen booted up and a message appeared.

 _You need to be ready. Charlie and Jacob are in Anchorage, waiting._

Charlie and Jacob? Jacob was here, in Alaska with her dad? Bella couldn't believe it. She reread the message over and over; needing to make sure it wasn't her wicked imagination playing tricks on her. Jacob had come to her rescue again. Her heart began to flutter madly in her chest while a thousand butterflies set off in her stomach. Bella felt her cheeks burn as the blood rushed to her face. It hadn't done that in a long time. Normally she had to force it. Her hands were shaking with emotion. She raised them in front of her eyes. Just briefly she noticed her skin return to its former creaminess as the blood rushed through her veins. Then just as quickly it reverted to its normal translucency when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Bella, are you nearly finished?"

It was Edward. Bella's fingers curled into fists. She wanted to scream at him to leave her alone. Why couldn't he just let her breathe? But she knew it wouldn't get her anywhere and would expend what little energy remained. She quickly hid the cell phone under the loose tile and replaced it carefully.

"I'm nearly done." Bella replied with difficulty.

"Good girl. I'm right here waiting."

Bella scowled as she stood up. But for once her despair was tinged with a modicum of hope. Rescue was on the horizon. Soon she could be free.

* * *

Charlie didn't know where Jacob put it all. The boy sure could eat. He was on his second helpings already while Charlie was still ploughing through his first. If he ate as much as Billy's kid he would be like the side of a house. But Jacob was built like a pro-athlete. He had a body that any guy would be envious of. To maintain it must take commitment. But Charlie never saw Jacob work out. There was no exercise equipment anywhere in the house or the garage. It was just one of the many mysteries that Charlie knew he wasn't privy too. He wasn't stupid; he knew that Billy and his son kept secrets from him. Charlie had witnessed things over the years that couldn't be explained. But he was a practical man and did what he had to do. Right now he was placing all his faith in his best friend's son, and counting down the hours until he held his little girl in his arms once again.

* * *

Bella lay in Edward's cold arms. She was freezing. The thin blanket he had placed between them didn't do enough to ward off the chill. She was pretending to sleep, but in reality was wide awake. Her mind kept ticking over, picking apart the series of events of the previous day as she tried to remember what had happened. Seeing Alice had brought fragments of it back to her. Bella was now certain she had been in Carlisle's study and that Alice had been the one to find her. She wasn't sure how much the little psychic had told Edward but he hadn't mentioned it and Alice had been avoiding her ever since. Time seemed to pass excruciatingly slowly. Bella eventually fell into a light doze as exhaustion pulled her under.

* * *

There was a sharp rap on the door. Bella startled. She heard Edward curse under his breath. The bedroom door was shoved open and Alice appeared. The little seer looked shaken. Her eyes were huge in her white face. She ran to her brother and whispered to him urgently. Bella couldn't hear what they were discussing but once she saw Edward's drained expression she knew it couldn't be good. Panic set in. What did this new crisis mean? She had been so close to escape now it was all going to be ruined. Tears welled in her eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"Bella." Edward had hold of her arms now. His eyes bored into hers. "I need you to go with Alice. The Volturi have paid us an unexpected visit. I can't believe this has happened, usually they give us pre-warning. Jane is here to check up on you. We can't let her see you like this. I am going to see her and make up some excuse, okay. I am going to tell her you and Alice are away shopping or something. She can't protest if she arrives unannounced." His expression softened. "Don't worry about me, darling. Alice has already called Carlisle. He is on his way back. Esme and I will be able to keep Jane occupied until he arrives. He will be able to sort all this out." He said confidently.

"Edward…." Bella whispered. She didn't have the energy to say anything else. His mouth was suddenly on hers as he kissed her urgently. She felt like throwing up but forced herself to endure his attentions.

"We have to go, Edward." Alice interjected. "Jasper and I will take care of her."

This was like déjà vu. Hadn't Alice said that before once upon a time? Bella didn't have time to think. She was quickly hustled out of the bedroom and down the back staircase. It led through to the underground garage. Jasper was waiting by Alice's yellow Porsche. "I won't leave this behind." She sounded sentimental, as if she was never coming back.

Bella's fears increased. Could this unexpected visit from Jane mean that they would have to relocate again? Her chance to escape would be lost forever. As she climbed into the back of the car tears fell down her face. She couldn't be bothered to hide her distress anymore. Jasper was driving. He spoke quietly to Alice before he put his foot down and sped out of the garage.

* * *

Midnight rolled around. Jacob and Charlie stood outside their lodgings staring up at the heavens. Myriad stars glittered in the sky. The view was breath taking. The temperature had dropped even more once the sun had set. They hadn't spoken much. Both felt the tension. Waiting around was frustrating, especially for Charlie as he didn't really know what the hell was going to happen next. He watched Jacob covertly, wondering what the boy was thinking. He was hiding his emotions well. Charlie couldn't read him at all. He would make a good cop, he mused. Then suddenly it all changed. Jacob tensed, his eyes scanning the parking lot like a hawk. How the hell could the kid see anything? Charlie was struggling. He strained his eyes as he tried to see what had caught Jacob's attention.

* * *

Jasper drove like a mad man. His eyes were locked on the road ahead as he weaved through the traffic like a pro. Bella strapped herself in, her heart hammering in her chest. "Where are we going?"

Alice turned around to look at her. Her face was full of sorrow. She reached out and took Bella's hand in her own. "I am going to miss you." She whispered.

"What do you mean?" Bella was confused. Her eyes flicked to Jasper, he was still concentrating on the road ahead. The car swerved and Bella nearly threw up. "Alice what do you mean?"

"This is goodbye, Bella. Once Jas and I drop you off then we will be heading north."

"Why? You told Edward you…."

"Jane is not at the house, Bella. I lied." Alice finally revealed. "It was the only way I could distract Edward and give us enough time to get you out."

"It was you…." Bella breathed.

"I had to avoid you otherwise Edward would have read my mind. After I found you in the study I took you back to your room and told Esme that you had fainted just down the hall. She didn't have any reason to be suspicious." The Porsche lurched to the right as Jasper increased his speed. "There isn't enough time to explain. Take this." Alice reached into her coat and pulled out a spiral notebook along with two vials of blood which had been in the chiller cabinet in Carlisle's study. "The notebook contains Carlisle's latest notes on your condition and there are references to Jacob Black, too."

Bella took them. She noticed her name was written on one of the vials along with Jacob's. "You took these."

"Yes." Alice sighed sadly. "It's over for us, Bella. Jas and I will have to go into hiding now. I won't be able to contact you again." Her golden eyes glistened in the half dark. "You will always be my sister." She continued in barely a whisper.

"Alice." Bella cried.

"NOW." Jasper turned the wheel violently causing the Porsche to skid to a juddering halt.

Bella was thrown back into her seat, the breath stolen from her body. Alice was out of the car, pulling the seat back so Bella could get out. "They are waiting for you." Alice pointed into the darkness. "I can't come with you. I have to go. We are being followed and Jas and I need to steer them away from this direction." Alice helped Bella alight from the car. She hugged her briefly to her hard body before letting go. "Goodbye, my sister."

She was back in the car in a flash. Bella didn't have time to respond as she watched the bright yellow Porsche tear off at an alarming rate and disappear into the darkness.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you very much for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Five**

Jacob's cell phone rang. He answered it at once. The same female he had spoken to earlier told him where Bella was right now. She was at least a mile away from his current location. "You said you would bring her right here." He whispered fiercely. He had walked away from Charlie so the older man couldn't hear his conversation.

" _We had no choice as we are being followed. We dropped her off in the next safe location. Please hurry she can't be on her own for too long."_

The call ended abruptly. Jacob could have screamed with frustration. If Bella was a mile away he was going to have to phase so he could reach her quickly. Which meant having to literally leave Charlie in the dark again, he already felt guilty enough hiding things from the older man. He had a deep respect for Bella's father. He hurried back to the police chief who was watching him with a worried frown.

"Is Bella on her way?"

"She's close." Jacob said cryptically. "I'm going to have to leave for a while. Wait here and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You are not leaving me here, Jacob. No way. I'm…." Charlie blustered. But his words were in vain. Jacob had already melted into the darkness and vanished.

* * *

Bella was freezing. She was only dressed in a thin shirt and jeans. Her abrupt departure meant that she hadn't been able to pack anything appropriate. All she had were the two vials of blood and the spiral notebook Alice had given her. She began to shake as the cold infected her bones. This was terrible. She didn't know where she was. It seemed like she was in the middle of nowhere. Was she supposed to wait or move on? Bella breathed in the crisp air as she tried to think rationally, but it was hard to get her sluggish brain to function. Alice wouldn't have left her in the wilderness alone if someone wasn't coming to pick her up. Perhaps Charlie and Jacob were on their way. As soon as she thought about them a deep longing coursed through her veins. She felt the blood pumping and just for a second her heart beat to a normal rhythm before the energy left her and she was back to her normal state. She could have cried. She trembled violently as she wrapped her arms around her midriff to try and give herself some semblance of warmth.

It didn't help at all. She ended up sitting on the cold ground, pulling her legs up to her chest and resting her chin on her knees. She continued to shiver violently as her breath fogged in the air in front of her. Bella pictured Jacob in her mind. That was easy. His image was imprinted permanently in her brain. She closed her eyes as his face appeared in front of her. She remembered every line and curve, his beautiful smile, the way he frowned sometimes when he was overthinking something. His dark eyes, so full of life. She wondered what he would think of her now. Would he be disgusted by her? He must be so angry with her. She had hurt him so deeply. The fact that he was here in Alaska, coming to her rescue once again, gave her a faint hope that somewhere in his warm heart he had forgiven her for rejecting him.

Part of her was thrilled at the prospect of seeing him again, of seeing Charlie. But a larger part was scared. She wasn't the same girl who had left for her honeymoon almost a year and a half ago. That girl was dead. To be replaced with this. Bella couldn't even describe herself. What was she? Most days she was too exhausted to think or ponder the changes in her body. Boredom and the unutterable strain of just getting through each day were tough enough. She would spend hours just sleeping. Any heightened emotion would send her spiralling into darkness. She had no energy. It was only the occasional burst of strength which would make her blood pump through her veins and her heart beat like a lions. But even that took its toll. She couldn't eat, food tasted like ashes in her mouth. If this was her punishment for choosing to become something other than she was, well then she was suffering for it.

As the minutes began to tick by she rocked back and forth on the ground. She hid her face against her knees as she hugged them to her chest. Her long luxuriant hair, the only thing that seemed to grow, fell around her thin shoulders in a silky wave. She cried, feeling immensely sorry for herself, only to feel ashamed of her tears moments later. This was no less than she deserved for the poor choices she had made and the hurt she had caused. She was so lost in her misery that she didn't hear anyone approach until they spoke her name.

" _Bella."_

Her heart shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

Bella refused to raise her head. That would only make it true. She sobbed, rocking back and forth. She curled in on herself, hiding under her abundant hair. This was a nightmare, a bad dream. This wasn't happening. She had to be hallucinating because it was so cold. That had to be it. Her fears were making her hear things. But as his cold fingers touched her face Bella knew it was no dream.

"Darling, look at you." Edward knelt down in front of her. He pushed her hair away from her face and cupped her face between his hands, forcing her to raise her head when she didn't want to. "Oh, my love." He continued to croon. "It's going to be alright. There is no need to be scared. I'm here now. I'm going to take you home."

 _How had he found her? How?_ Bella knew she would never know. Somehow Jasper and Alice's ruse hadn't worked. Where were they now? Had he caught up with them? Had they managed to get away? Tears pooled in her eyes as she gazed at her husband. He was leaning over her now, his cheek pressed into her hair as he inhaled deeply. She was his drug. He would do anything to keep her close and feed his addiction. It wasn't love he felt for her but obsession. Bella wondered why she had never seen it. He had even called her his brand of heroine once. She had been so young, so foolish.

Edward cuddled her against his hard body. His cold lips grazed along her cheek until they reached the corner of her mouth. "I know things have been difficult, but it will get better. A cure is just around the corner. Carlisle is convinced of that now."

Bella shuddered. _Carlisle the eminent doctor! He was so handsome, so admired and revered by his peers. The one everyone was convinced someday would make an incredible breakthrough; it would be something that would change lives, cure ills. Cure everything…even vampirism_. A cold sweat broke out on Bella's skin. Beads of perspiration coated her forehead.

Edward inhaled again and he recoiled. "This can't keep happening." His eyes were fixated on the sweat breaking out on her face. His fist clenched in aggravation. "We need to get you home. I'll call Carlisle and let him know I've found you. Everything is already prepared."

Bella's head was spinning. Edward had his hand under her elbow. He pulled her onto her feet and kept a tight hold as he began to speak rapidly into his cell. Bella couldn't keep up with the one sided conversation. She felt groggy and extremely unwell. Edward's closeness was making her sweat even more.

"What do you mean pre…prepared?" She was slurring her words now.

Edward ended the call. He kept a tight hold of her arm as he dug his other hand into the inside of his jacket. He pulled out a small silver flask. "You need to drink, darling. You're dehydrated."

"I don't w…want it." Bella shook her head, gagging at the thought.

Edward was getting frustrated again. His golden eyes flashed with irritation. "Why must you always fight me?" He sighed heavily and captured Bella's chin with his fingers and forced her head back. "I'm sorry my love but you're not really giving me any choice and we're running out of time. Don't worry you won't remember."

Bella struggled weakly. She grabbed Edward's wrist between both her hands and felt a sudden surge of fire rush through her veins. Blood rushed to her face turning her cheeks rosy. With one violent push she shoved Edward away from her. He went reeling, dropping the flask on the floor as he fell back on his butt. The vials Bella had been carrying smashed on the floor, the blood pooled at her feet.

"Where did you get those?" Edward asked in astonishment as his nose wrinkled at the smell. He sniffed cautiously before leaping to his feet. "You've been in Carlisle's study by yourself."

Bella didn't answer him. She took the opportunity to try and run. She knew it was all in vain. Her energy was sapped. She slid on the hard ground, scraping her knuckles as she tried to stop herself hitting the dirt.

Edward was already by her side. "Why must you make things so difficult?" He said in exasperation. "It's the side effects." He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I know this will all be worth it in the end but I struggle, my love." His expression became pained. "I hate to see you suffer. I don't do any of this willingly. But as Carlisle said the end result will transform all our lives."

"What are you doing to me?" Bella cried as she scooted away from him.

Edward ducked down and retrieved the flask. It was still half full. His handsome face was the picture of sadness as he caught Bella's face and forced the liquid down her throat. She coughed violently. "I am so sorry, darling. I really am but it makes it so much easier for you. Please don't resist."

Tears pooled in Bella's eyes as she stared at him in despair. She was weak; she had no fight left in her. Edward had won. The next time she woke up she knew she would be back in her prison, none the wiser about what had happened this night. He was reaching for her again, ready to pick her up and carry her to his car. But Edward Cullen never completed the action. He raised his head sharply, his eyes widening in disbelief. "Impossible."

Bella's world was going dark. She sagged on the ground, her eyelids drooping as she saw some kind of black shadow sail over her head. She saw it hit Edward head on and her husband was thrown violently backwards. Bella tried to raise her head to see, but she was too weak. She heard growls and a scuffling sound before she succumbed and sank into unconsciousness.

* * *

It took Jacob a moment to recover from his primal state. He took deep shuddering breaths as he tried to recover his humanity. He scanned the immediate area for any signs of Edward Cullen. But like the coward he was, the leech had run off. He was a shitty fighter and knew he would never be able to tackle Jacob alone. So he had abandoned any attempt to defend himself and had run back into the shadows. Jacob didn't have time to pursue him. He was unfamiliar with the territory and anyway he had other priorities. Once Jacob felt in control again he hurried over to Bella's side.

As soon as he knelt by her side, his emotions unravelled as he laid eyes on her for the first time in eighteen months. His whole body shook with the force of his feelings. It was almost too much to bear. Bella was changed. He couldn't deny that now. She was so thin, so tiny. It broke his heart to see her in such a fragile state. He could hear her heart fluttering in her chest like a bird trapped in a cage. His gaze travelled to her face. Her eyes were closed; her long silky lashes cast shadows on her face. Her skin was so white, like snow. It was almost translucent. He fancied he could see the blood pumping underneath the paper white skin. Despite her fragility she was still incredibly beautiful. A lump lodged in his throat as he continued to stare at her. Jacob flexed his fingers; they trembled as they hovered over her face. He ended up touching her silken hair instead. Her cheek rested upon it like a satin pillow.

Bella smelled different. Her sweet scent was the same but mixed with something else. Something so familiar, it was earthy, potent. He couldn't name it. But it was connected to him, to who he was, to who they were. He swallowed thickly. It was time to move. Mere seconds had passed while he stared at her, drinking in the changes. But to Jacob it was like time stood still. He hunkered down and lifted her into his arms. Bella never stirred. He had no idea what had rendered her unconscious. She was breathing and he couldn't see any signs of injury, so all he could assume was that she had fainted through fear. She was so cold. Jacob cradled her to his hot chest, hunching over to shield her from the bitter wind. Then he took off at a fast sprint as he made his way back to Charlie.

* * *

Charlie was pacing like a mad man as he waited for Jacob to return. As soon as he saw him reappear out of the gloom he ran toward him. As he drew closer he noticed that Jacob was dressed only in jeans and nothing else. They hung low on his hips. He seemed to have lost his shirt along with his shoes. Charlie frowned, wondering what the hell was going on. He was about to call Jacob out on it when he noticed that the kid was carrying somebody in his arms.

"Bella." Charlie cried frantically. He closed the gap and within seconds he had pulled his daughter out of Jacob's arms. "Oh my baby girl." He stared down at her white face as her head lolled on his shoulder. "What happened to her?"

"Let's get her inside." Jacob suggested quickly. Charlie was in a highly charged emotional state and not thinking rationally so he decided to take charge. "You head in and I'll be right behind you."

Charlie just nodded. His attention was fixated on Bella. He didn't see Jacob lope back into the darkness as he went to fetch the rest of his clothes which he had hidden nearby before he phased.

* * *

It was lucky that it was so late. Otherwise Charlie knew he would have attracted a lot of unwanted attention as he carried Bella to his room. He had difficulty opening the door to his lodgings. He didn't want to put his daughter down but he couldn't get his key card out of his pocket if he didn't. He cussed under his breath until Jacob reappeared suddenly. Charlie let out a startled curse before he carefully passed Bella back to Jacob. He did a second take when he noticed Jacob was fully dressed again. What the hell? He was too frazzled to question it. He dug the key card out of his pocket and he pushed the door open, allowing Jacob to go inside first before following behind. Charlie looked around to make sure that no one was watching them before he closed the door firmly and locked it from the inside.

* * *

Bella drew in a sharp breath. She coughed violently. She was going to be sick. She felt someone cradle the back of her head as she leaned forward. A paper bag appeared out of nowhere and she retched. She kept puking until there was nothing left inside of her to come up. God, she felt so ill. When it was over she leaned back against a pile of heaped up pillows. She felt groggy and utterly exhausted. It took her a while to gather her wits and when she did she finally opened her eyes expecting to see Edward staring down at her. But she was still hallucinating.

"Dad?" Bella rasped.

"Easy now, kiddo." Charlie sat beside her on the bed and studied her anxiously. "I've got a glass of water here." He held up a sparkling glass filled with a clear liquid.

Bella thought she was definitely hallucinating. Was this a trick her deranged mind had conjured up? She stared blearily at the glass expecting to see the same cloudiness caused by the white powder. "What's in it?"

"Water." Charlie said again. "You're really dehydrated, kiddo. You need to keep your fluids up."

Bella looked at the glass then at her father. She didn't know what to do. "Are you real?" She whispered.

"I'm real, Bells. It's me….your old man." It was the way he spoke that finally convinced Bella that it was indeed Charlie. If it was Edward faking Charlie he wouldn't have said _your old man_. That was such a Charlie saying. Tears leaked out of her eyes. "It's gonna be alright, Bells. I've gotcha." Charlie continued thickly as he put his arm underneath her body and helped her to rise. He put the glass to her lips and Bella drank the cool liquid slowly. Like everything in her life now it was horrible, but it did settle her burning throat. "Has that helped?" Charlie asked as he helped her to lie back down.

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me." Charlie's gaze drifted over his daughter's thin face. She looked half starved. He tried to hide his anger. Edward Cullen was a dead man. If he ever laid eyes on that son of a bitch he was going to kill him. That was if Jacob didn't get there first. The kid had left to get some food and to allow father and daughter time to reconnect. At least that was what Jacob had told him. Charlie guessed it was a cover story, but like everything he swallowed the lie as he concentrated on his daughter. "You're safe now, kiddo." He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm so sorry." Bella blinked back tears as she took in Charlie's sorrowful expression. He still looked the same apart from some grey flecks in his hair. Just the familiarity of him eased her broken heart.

"Now none of that." Charlie chided her gently. "None of this is your fault." We all know whose damn fault it is he thought in his head. He felt anger burn in his gut but he hid it from Bella. Now was not the time. He had come across enough domestic abuse cases to know how fragile the victim could be. This must have been going on for months. He knew there was always a reason he hated Edward fucking Cullen. How he wished he had put his foot down the second time that piece of shit came into his daughter's life. Then maybe he could have saved her all this heartache. He had just been so scared of losing her completely, afraid that if he acted the hardass she would expel him from her life forever.

"I did this to myself." Bella whispered hoarsely. Fresh tears welled in her eyes. Her head ached abominably.

"No you didn't." Charlie brushed her hair back from her forehead. She was ice cold. Beads of sweat coated her brow. "This is all on him, kiddo. I know you can't see that right now but one day you will. I'm gonna get you home and get you well. I want you to focus on that right now, okay."

Bella gave up protesting. Charlie would never understand. She glanced around the room briefly. There was no sign of Jacob. Had he really come with Charlie after all? Perhaps not. She wasn't worth his time, if he had washed his hands of her than she had no one but herself to blame.

* * *

Jacob was back where he had found Bella. He was still full of anger and needed to run it off before she saw him. He could smell Cullen's sickening stench along with something else. He phased back into his human form, hunkering down so he could inspect the ground closely. It was pitch black but he recognised the metallic smell of blood. He touched the ground with his fingers and when he held them in front of his face he could see they were coated in red. His expression hardened. He smelt the blood warily, knowing very well that it belonged to him. Jacob knew he hadn't injured himself here or spilled any blood, which could mean only one thing. It had come from somewhere else. His keen eyes caught the faint glimmer of broken glass. The shards were scattered around the same area as the blood. He investigated some more. A few feet away he found a spiral notebook. It was lying face up in the dirt. He picked it up and sniffed it. Yes, that was Bella's new scent. She must have been carrying this with her.

Jacob flipped it open. Each page was filled with neat calligraphic writing. Amongst them were some chemical symbols that he didn't recognise. He didn't have time to read it now. On the back of the notebook someone had taped a memory stick to it. Jacob frowned. What the hell was this? The wind was picking up. It was nearly dawn. It was time to go. With his discoveries firmly tied to his leg, Jacob phased and headed back to the lodgings.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Six**

Jacob hesitated before he entered the room. He wouldn't admit it to himself but he was feeling anxious about seeing Bella again. The first time he had laid eyes on her she had been unconscious. But now she was awake. He could hear her talking quietly to Charlie. Occasionally she broke out into a choked sob. Charlie would console her and then she would calm down. But by the sound of it Bella Swan was utterly bereft. She kept apologising to Charlie over and over, occasionally rambling about things that made no sense. Jacob felt like an eavesdropper but he wanted to be fully in control when he saw Bella again. Their last meeting hadn't gone so well. He winced as he remembered their bitter argument on her wedding day. How he wished he had taken her away that day, even if he had to drag her away kicking and screaming. It was his biggest regret that he hadn't fought Sam's order hard enough and let his own hurt feelings get in the way of his better instincts.

Well he couldn't stand outside the room forever, the food would get cold. Jacob took a deep breath and opened the door. As soon as he stepped foot inside he saw the relief on Charlie's face. The older man stood up and hurried over to take the food from him. "Thanks kid."

"Be careful it's still hot." Jacob replied huskily. He braced himself before he dared to turn his head and look at Bella. He had heard her sharp intake of breath as soon as she saw him. It was like she wasn't expecting him to be there. Had Charlie told her nothing? "Hey Bells." He greeted her casually as if it was no big deal. He sounded nonchalant but he was far from it.

Bella burst into tears as soon as he spoke to her. Great racking sobs tore from her throat. Jacob exchanged an alarmed glance with Charlie. He hadn't expected this reaction. His heart was urging him to run to her and wrap her fragile body in his arms. But his pragmatic side won out and he stayed where he was while Charlie ditched the food and did the comforting. It was hard taking a step back and pretending that he wasn't affected by her tears. Their relationship used to be as easy as breathing once upon a time. In the old days he would have rushed to comfort her straight away. But things were different now. They were different. He didn't know where he stood with Bella now. Jacob was struggling with his own emotions. He watched Charlie covertly as he took over the food prep. Bella's father was clearly out of his comfort zone. Bella was sobbing on his shoulder and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon. Jacob felt a lump lodge in his throat. He had to give himself a stern talking to in his head to stop himself rushing to Bella and taking over.

Eventually Bella's sobs lessened but only because she was exhausted. Charlie released her and plumped up the pillows behind her to make her more comfortable. "Is that better?"

Bella nodded weakly. Jacob glanced at her again and nearly came undone. Her complexion was so white. Her eyes were reddened from crying, the delicate skin underneath looked bruised. He hated seeing her so fragile. His jaw tightened as he thought about ripping Edward Cullen to shreds and burning the pieces. One day soon Cullen was going to pay. He wouldn't escape the next time. Jacob finished unwrapping the food and arranging it on the paper plates. Then he passed one to Charlie before approaching Bella cautiously. He held out the plate to her.

"I'm afraid this is all I could get." He said apologetically. Jacob could have rolled his eyes. He sounded so lame. Bella was distraught and all he was doing was rambling about the stupid food.

"Jake." Bella whispered brokenly. She blinked furiously as she tried to stop more tears from spilling out of her eyes. "I'm sorry I cried. It was just a shock seeing you."

She hadn't acknowledged the food. Jacob swallowed again. "A good shock I hope." He said eventually.

Bella smiled wanly. It didn't reach her eyes. "It was a very good shock."

"You must be hungry." Jacob held out the paper plate to her again. "I got you one of those cheese melt things you like…." He paused. "Well you used to like it anyway…." His voice tailed off.

Bella stared at the food dully. The smell was nauseating. She tried to hide her disgust and took the plate from him. "Thank you very much." She said politely.

"Okay then." Charlie cleared his throat. "Well then let's eat." He said over cheerfully as he tried to lessen the tension.

Jacob nodded as he pulled the only other chair in the room closer to Bella's bed and sat down. He automatically began to eat his food. Charlie picked at his too but Bella's plate remained on her lap untouched. "Are you not hungry, kiddo?" Charlie asked.

"Not really." Bella said faintly.

"You have to eat." Charlie replied in concern. "You're so thin, Bells. In fact I'm guessing you're anaemic. Your gran was the same. I know it's not gourmet food but just try and eat a bit just to ease your old man's worry, huh."

"Okay." Bella murmured. She stared at the food. It really smelt unappetising. A wave of sadness washed over her. Jacob was right she used to love the cheese melt things but now all food tasted abominable. Still, she had to try. She gingerly picked apart the cheese melt and used the plastic fork to raise it to her lips. She could tell that her father was trying not to watch her, or Jacob. Taking a deep breath she placed a small piece on her tongue and began to chew. It tasted like ashes in her mouth. Tears welled in her eyes but she was determined not to cry. She had made enough of a fool of herself in front of Jacob as it was by weeping like a crazy woman.

Bella wished she could explain her reaction to Jacob when she first laid eyes on him after so many months apart. She had been so overwhelmed with happiness. Hearing the familiar greeting _Hey Bells_ fall so easily from his lips had sent her spiralling back into the past, to a time when she had felt happy, safe. As she tried to force the food down she studied Jacob discreetly. He had changed, not just physically but emotionally too. It saddened her to see how guarded he was around her. There was none of the easy familiarity that she used to enjoy. He was keeping his distance. In the old days he would have wrapped his arms around her as soon as she got upset. But he had held back, allowing Charlie to do the comforting himself. This hurt. Bella knew it was irrational. Why should he put himself out there? She had essentially handed his heart back on a platter after she had married Edward. What was she expecting? That he would forgive her easily and they would just be Jake and Bells again and act as if nothing had happened.

Bella forgot to eat as she gave up all pretence of being discreet. She stared at him, taking note of the changes in his physical appearance. Was it her imagination or was he more beautiful then she remembered. His hair was longer which surprised her. It hung almost to his shoulders at the back. The longer strands at the front kept getting in his eyes as he ate and he would sweep it back impatiently. His loose over shirt did nothing to hide the definition of his muscles as he sat casually in his chair with his long legs stretched out in front of him. Bella wished she could see his eyes but he kept his gaze fixated on his food.

"Bells, your food is getting cold." Charlie prompted her when he noticed that she had stopped eating. He followed the direction of her gaze and nodded in understanding. "You should use Jake as an example. He sure can put his food away."

"I remember." Bella said wistfully. Her heart was in her eyes as she stared at Jacob. When she spoke he raised his head and suddenly looked in her direction. For one second his guard dropped and a glimmer of a smile played about his lips. But just as quickly it was gone.

"I'm just going to get some air. I'll be back soon." Jacob said abruptly as he stood up. He strode out of the room quickly before anyone could question him.

* * *

Jacob knew he was being a coward but he couldn't help it. The longer he was around her the more his feelings began to resurface. He couldn't allow it to happen. He had to remain focused and in control. His love for Bella was ingrained deep in his soul but he couldn't just erase the past. She had really hurt him. When she had chosen the leech over him it had nearly been the end of him. It had taken a long time before he managed to pull himself together. He was in a good place mentally. If he allowed her back into his heart he would be vulnerable again. He didn't want to feel that way ever again. Jacob was determined to keep his distance. He would protect Bella with his life, but trusting her with his heart again wasn't going to happen.

He decided to take an early morning stroll. He was too wired to sleep even though he had been up all night. He wandered around aimlessly. Not many people were around. The air was frigid but the sky was a beautiful azure blue. Only a few clouds scudded across the sky to break up the intense colour. Jacob came across a small diner. The tantalising smell of cooked breakfast drew him inside. There were only a few other people inside. Hardy men, their faces heavily lined from working outside in all weathers, turned to look at him. A few raised their eyebrows at the size of him but they didn't intrude on his solitude as he sat in one of the booths. Even though he had only just eaten he always had room for more. He picked up the menu and studied it. A few minutes later a pretty waitress approached.

"Hello stranger." She smiled perkily. "What can I get you?" She pulled out a pencil from behind her ear ready to take down his order.

Jacob relaxed. "What do you suggest?" He smiled charmingly.

The waitress returned it with one of her own. "I could surprise you." She teased.

"I bet." Jacob's eyes sparkled. The waitress was already putty in his hands.

"My name is Judith by the way."

"Jacob."

"Nice name." Judith flirted. "I'll go and get you that surprise." She smirked, swinging her hips as she walked away.

Jacob's smile faded as soon as she was out of sight. They had only exchanged a few words but he was comparing her to Bella. Fuck it! What was he doing? He was desperate for a distraction but Bella kept intruding on his thoughts. Would he ever be able to move on?

When Judith returned with his order Jacob had already gone.

* * *

Charlie watched over his daughter as she slept. She hadn't eaten much, as soon as Jacob had left all her energy seemed to go with him. It saddened Charlie to see the two of them dancing around each other. He had seen the pain in Bella's face as she watched Jacob leave with barely a word. He couldn't blame the kid for having his guard up around his daughter. Bella had hurt Jacob badly. Charlie had seen how difficult it had been for his friend's son to piece his life back together. It hadn't been an easy ride. Billy had been despairing at one point that his son would never recover. It was a difficult situation. They say time healed all wounds and all he could do was hope that Bella and Jacob found their way back to each other.

Bella moaned in her sleep. Charlie saw her brow furrow. He sat next to her on the bed and stroked her hair back from her face. Her forehead was beaded with perspiration. Suddenly her body tensed. Charlie stroked her hair again hoping his touch would calm her down. This was too much like the nightmares she used to have when Cullen had first left her. Bella's fingers curled into fists as she jerked. Her head flopped to one side as a cold sweat broke out all over her body. Within seconds her clothes were soaked through. They clung to her body as she writhed again.

"Bells." Charlie was getting anxious again. "It's alright."

"Daddy." Bella mumbled. She sounded so young, so tormented.

Charlie felt helpless. He just wanted to get his little girl home somewhere safe. "I promise when we get you home that I'll make sure that nothing and no one ever hurts you again, kiddo." He vowed. "I'll get Edward Cullen for what he's put you through. I promise." His words seemed to comfort her as Bella's body finally relaxed.

* * *

Jacob was restless. He wandered around aimlessly. He was hyped up and wanted to phase so badly to run off his tension. It was broad daylight now and he couldn't risk it. So he tried to walk off his tension instead. But all it did was give him too much time to think. He sighed in aggravation as he found a place to rest and sat down. He really needed to get it together. They were all going to be in Anchorage for another two days yet. Jacob pulled out the notebook that he had found the night before. He had almost forgotten about it. He flipped it open. He might as well pass some time by reading what was inside. The memory stick was still taped to the back. He wished he had a lap top so he could see what was on it. It was all such a mystery. He began to read the first entry. It was dated four weeks ago. There was a lot of medical jargon that Jacob didn't understand. Right at the end of the first entry was a more personal log.

 _It irks me that Bella's condition is deteriorating even after all my efforts to adjust the dosage. I have to confess I am frustrated by the lack of progress. After every single treatment her body rejects Edward's venom. It spills out of the pores of her skin like water…._

What the fuck? Jacob nearly crushed the notebook in his hands as he read the personal log. What the hell did they think they were doing? Bella wasn't some kind of science experiment. His hands shook as he forced himself to turn the page and read the next personal log.

 _It is getting difficult to control Bella during the treatments. She constantly tries to resist. She is getting stronger. Today she broke her restraints and it took both Edward and I to restrain her. He was very distraught which proved unfortunate. But he understands this was never going to be easy. Thankfully with the proper drug administration Bella doesn't remember what happens which is a blessing…_

Jacob couldn't believe what he was reading. It was like something out of a horror film. What the hell was the vamp doctor trying to do to Bella? And Edward was in collusion with him. It was sick, fucking sick. He inhaled sharply before he continued reading the next personal log.

 _The shifter's ability to heal will always be a source of fascination to me. It was unfortunate that I was only able to obtain a single sample of Ephraim Black's blood. That single sample was not enough to help Alice of course. She was a huge failure. My experiments on her came to naught. But I was younger then, too eager. I have learned to be patient. Thankfully she has no memory of why she was turned or about my involvement. She seems appeased by the false story that was put in place in order to stop her investigations into her past…_

Jacob had to take a moment. His anger was rising. He stood up, pacing back and forth as he tried to calm down. Carlisle Cullen had obtained a sample of his ancestor's blood. How was this even possible? Was it his plan to make a treaty with the last wolf pack just so he could get close to them? He thought of the little pixie. He had always mistrusted her but she had been a victim just like Bella. It was ghastly all of it. Carlisle was sick and twisted. Jacob didn't want to but he had to read more. The next few entries were about Bella and how the treatments were affecting her physically and emotionally. Her moods were worsening. Carlisle had been adjusting the dosage but her immune system continued to fight back. One entry was filled with his personal frustration at his lack of progress. Then the last but one entry…

 _I am on the verge of a breakthrough. I am so euphoric. I have to be careful, I do not have many samples of the shifter's blood left. I was only able to take a few from Jacob Black while he was recuperating from his injuries. The wolf pack was on constant guard. This new pack is more vigilant than their predecessors. I am rambling again. Getting straight to the point I decided to take a risk and be bold. I added two more droplets of the shifter's blood to the venom sample. I am euphoric. The changes in Bella's condition were immediate. She was healing from the inside out. Her skin tone was almost completely normal. I tested her heart rate, blood pressure and they are almost completely as they should be for a young woman of her age. It's a pity that the poor child is suffering so many side effects but if this trend continues then a cure is in sight…_

Jacob was in agony. How Bella had suffered. He now knew how the vamp doctor had obtained his blood without his permission. He had taken it while he had been treating his injuries after the newborn battle. Carlisle hadn't been helping he had used the situation to his advantage so he could continue his sick experiments. Bella had just been another pawn in his search for this cure whatever it was. He wished he could understand some of the medical jargon. There were pages of it. Only Carlisle's personal log made any sense. There was only one more. He was almost afraid to read it.

 _I am beyond livid. Bella has frustrated me again. She expelled the venom but also the shifters blood as well. Her immune system is somehow fighting back. I cannot understand it. I have an inkling that it has to do with the fact that some of James' venom still resides inside her body. I need to run more tests. I was so close. I was on the verge. The side effects are worsening. I must be careful. She is very fragile now. I am not sure how much longer she will be able to cope. Edward is beginning to question the validity of my research but I reminded him once again why we are doing this. Bella still maintains some traits of both. She has strength, but only in short bursts. She tires easily. The drugs are having more of an effect. She sleeps for hours but it kills her appetite. I have to attend this medical conference but once I return I plan to up the dosage to the maximum level…._

That was the last entry. There was no more. Sickened Jacob stashed the notebook in the back pocket of his jeans. He just wanted to get back to Bella and hold her in his arms. Fuck maintaining his distance. He didn't care anymore. She had been through hell while he had been busy nursing his broken heart. The two just didn't compare.

* * *

As he slipped silently into the room he noticed that Charlie was fast asleep. His exhaustion had caught up with him. He lay sprawled on the other bed snoring softly. Jacob's eyes travelled to Bella. She was asleep too. He was surprised to see that she had a change of clothes. She was dressed in one of Charlie's shirts. It came down to her knees. She was lying on top of the covers not underneath them like before. He wondered why. He walked over to her bed not making a sound. But despite this she seemed to know he was there. Slowly her eyes opened and she turned her head to look up at him. The tormented look on her face broke him.

"Bella." His voice cracked. He hunkered down beside the bed and took her cold hand in his. "I'm sorry."

"Can you hold me?" Bella whispered hoarsely. "Please."

Jacob nodded, now beyond words. He kicked his boots off and crawled onto the bed beside her. He did what he had wanted to do since they had been reunited. He put one arm underneath her and cradled her against his warm body. She was light, like a fragile bird. He could hear her heart fluttering in her chest. Bella's eyes closed again in exhaustion. As soon as her breathing was deep and even Jacob knew she was properly asleep. He rested his head next to hers but stayed awake to keep watch.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thanks for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Seven**

Charlie woke up the next morning feeling rested. He grabbed his watch and looked at the time. He had slept for over ten hours. He hastily got off the bed to check on Bella. Well that was a surprise. He saw Jacob lying next to his daughter, cradling her against his chest. Charlie met Jacob's eyes. He wasn't angry about seeing his daughter cuddled up to his best friend's son. How could he? Bella looked peaceful. After dealing with her nightmares the previous day, he was grateful that she was finding rest now.

"Thank you." He said quietly so only Jacob could hear.

Jacob just nodded. He had been up all night. He may be a powerful wolf but he still needed sleep. It was morning now and felt it was safe enough for him to take a nap.

"I'll head out and get us some breakfast." Charlie gazed at his daughter one last time before he left.

Jacob was glad that Charlie was dealing with it so well. He hadn't really expected Bella's father to kick off. He knew that Charlie knew how traumatised Bella was, although the older man had no idea of the true cause. Jacob's brow furrowed as he thought about what he had read in Carlisle's journal. Just thinking about it again made his blood boil. The vamp doctor was like Frankenstein. His experiments were sick and twisted. So much for finding sleep! His brain was too active. Jacob sighed. He shifted slightly so he could look at Bella. She had her fingers splayed across his heart. Her hair was like a satin pillow as it fanned around her head. But it was her sweet face that caught his attention the most. She was so thin. Her complexion was completely white, her skin translucent. Jacob dared to touch her cheek. Blood suddenly pooled in her face and it came alive. She looked like she was blushing. How odd? He pulled his hand away and watched. The colour blooming in her cheek began to fade. He touched it again. The same thing happened. How bizarre?

Bella was beginning to stir. Her eyes fluttered open slowly. At first Jacob noticed a sliver of fear cross her face before she finally focused on him. "It wasn't a dream." She said in wonder as she stared at him.

"No." Jacob was too caught up in the intensity of the moment to form a proper sentence. His breathing became shallow. What was wrong with him?

The door to the room was suddenly thrust open as Charlie strode into the room. Jacob, startled, rolled off the bed and onto his feet. Charlie pretended not to notice his flushed face. He hid his smile as he dumped the takeout on the small table and shrugged off his thick coat. "It's fresh out there." He announced cheerfully. He looked at his daughter. She was sitting up now. She still looked wan but the dark circles under her eyes had lightened now she had actually enjoyed a good night's sleep. "I couldn't get any cereal or anything I'm afraid, kiddo. So it's a choice of scrambled egg, toast or a full cooked breakfast."

Bella's stomach churned at the thought of eating. The smell was already making her feel sick. "I'm not very hungry." She said softly. Charlie's face fell instantly. Bella felt guilty. She felt a lump lodge in her throat. "I might try some of the scrambled egg though."

Charlie's expression lightened. "That's my girl." He quickly divided the food up and placed a small amount on Bella's paper plate. He passed it to her along with a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. "No sugar just the way you like it." Charlie sounded so proud that he had remembered such a small thing that Bella felt even more ashamed. For him she would make a special effort to eat. At least Charlie and Jacob didn't watch her like a hawk unlike Edward. Thinking about her husband made nausea well in her throat. He was out there somewhere biding his time she was sure of it.

* * *

Jacob placed a call to his dad to let Billy know the time of his return flight. His father was staying with the Clearwater's while he was away. It was Seth who answered the phone. Unlike the rest of the pack Seth had always liked Bella. He was an open minded kid. He had even championed Edward at one point. He had struck up an odd sort of friendship with the leech after they fought Victoria together during the newborn battle. Seth had been the only pack member invited to the infamous wedding. Jacob wondered how Seth would feel once he found out the truth about Edward Cullen.

"Did you find Bella?" Seth asked after getting the greetings out of the way.

"Yes, I did." Jacob replied curtly. He really didn't want to go into details with the young shifter. Anything he said would eventually be broadcast to Sam Uley. Jacob wanted to be the one who spoke to Sam directly rather than him getting information second hand.

There was a slight pause from Seth. "It must have been hard on you, Jake. Seeing her like that."

Jacob didn't understand what Seth was intimating. It took him a few seconds to catch up. "Bella is not one of them." He said grimly.

"But I thought…" Seth sounded confused.

"Can I speak to my dad, please?" Jacob interrupted him.

"Oh…okay. Hang on." Seth drifted away.

A few minutes later Billy was on the line. "Thank god. I have been worried sick." He chided Jacob.

"I'm sorry I didn't have a chance to call before." Jacob apologised. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good. Sue has been fussing over me. I'd forgotten what it was like to have a good woman taking care of me." Billy fell silent for a beat. Jacob guessed he was thinking about Sarah. "How are you son? Are you good?" He continued eventually.

"Yeah, I'm good." Jacob took a deep breath. It was now or never. He had to tell Billy that it wasn't going to be just him and Charlie coming back to Forks. "We found Bella."

"What?" Billy was startled.

"I can't go into details, dad." Jacob said before his father had a chance to start firing questions at him. "All I can say is that she's not one of them. But she's been through a rough time. We're bringing her home."

"Bella is coming back here." Billy was aghast. "What happened? I don't…"

"Dad I can't say too much. I'm sorry. I'll tell you the full story when I get home."

"When will that be?"

"Our plane will touch down in Seattle about ten on Tuesday night. We'll be staying in a motel then driving back the next day." Jacob revealed.

"This is huge, Jake." Billy shook his head in disbelief. "How's the old man?" He asked referring to Charlie.

"Relieved that he's got his daughter back." Jacob replied. "As am I."

Those last few words were telling. Billy sighed. His son was already getting too involved again. But he could hardly lecture him over a phone line. "Do you want me to warn Sam?" He checked.

"I wouldn't bother. Seth will let it slip. I'll deal with Uley when I get back. I have to go. Bye dad."

"Goodbye son. Just be careful." Billy warned him.

"Always." Jacob promised before he ended the call.

* * *

Bella broke out into a cold sweat as soon as she finished eating. It was no more than she expected. She felt miserable as Charlie's shirt clung to her skin. She had no clothes other than the soiled ones she had worn when Jacob rescued her. She felt mortified. She was going to have to ask Charlie to get her some clothes, not just outerwear but underwear too. Jacob was still gone. Bella wished he was there, she would find it easier to ask him. But after everything she had been through asking Charlie should be simple. Oh, god!

"Dad, I need to take a shower."

"Go for it, Bells." Charlie smiled. He was reading a newspaper, his feet propped up on the small table in front of him.

"I will." Perspiration beaded on Bella's brow. She was really going to have to say it, wasn't she? No subtle hint would work on Charlie. "Dad…I…I don't have a change of clothes with me. I need….um….um….other things."

Charlie lowered his paper as he looked at his daughter, perplexed. "What other things?"

"I can't go commando." Bella dropped her heaviest hint yet. "It might be alright for Jake, but not for me." Surely he would understand now.

"Commando?" Charlie rustled his paper as he began to fold it in half. He sat forward in his chair. "I suppose Jake is built like one but you're too weak to exercise like that, kiddo. Take one day at a time."

Bella pressed her lips together. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. This conversation was so absurd it was mortifying. She was just going to have to be blunt. "Dad, I need…"

The door opened and Jacob came in. Father and daughter jumped at his abrupt entrance. "For goodness sake, Jake." Charlie put his hand over his racing heart.

"Sorry." Jacob shrugged. He looked at Bella. The blood had rushed to her face again at his sudden entrance. It gave her skin some colour. It made her look like she was blushing. He smiled at her. "I've got you something." He passed her a brown paper bag.

"Thank you." Bella's head was spinning. Perspiration coated her skin. She could feel herself getting groggy. Her emotions were overwhelming her again. She worried that she might pass out. Instead she focused on the bag. She opened it up, feeling Charlie's eyes on her as his curiosity was piqued too. Bella pulled out a pair of jeans, a thick sweater, two pairs of panties and a bra. She felt faint as she arranged them on the bed in front of her. She saw Charlie's eyes zero in on the underwear as comprehension finally dawned on him. He began to cough as he tried to hide his mortification.

"I think they're the right size." Jacob was totally nonchalant about it. "The woman in the store helped me pick them out." He grinned as Bella's eyes met his. "I know you don't like going commando. That's my thing."

Charlie's skin reddened as he finally understood what Bella meant by commando. He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm just gonna…um…get some air." He grabbed his jacket and headed outside.

As soon as the door closed Jacob and Bella began to laugh. She fell back against her heaped up pillows and giggled. She hadn't laughed for a whole year and a half. It was an odd feeling. It started in her stomach and bubbled in her throat. She rolled onto her side as tears welled in her eyes. "I shouldn't…but I can't help it." She wheezed.

"Charlie will get over it." Jacob chuckled. Just for a few moments it was like they were Jake and Bells again.

In the end it all became too much for Bella. Her chaotic emotions ranging from sadness to mortification to laughter sent her under. She blacked out, slumping on the bed as if she had been sucker punched. Jacob's laughter died as he was reminded of the gravity of the situation. He hurried to her side, checking her over frantically for any signs of injury or illness. But he couldn't find any. It was like she had fallen asleep. His breath caught in his throat as he gently rearranged Bella on the bed so she was more comfortable before packing the clothes away. Jacob then pulled up a chair and sat down.

"I'm sorry, Bells." He murmured. "I am so sorry."

* * *

They had one more day to get through until the return flight. They had spent their time mostly inside. Bella ventured out for a little while, but her exhaustion soon had her heading back inside. Her latest blackout had weakened her considerably. She could see that Charlie and Jacob were getting very worried about her. Bella hated putting them through this. Once again she was causing trouble. She hated herself for it. But what else could she do. She kept her own worries to herself. Carlisle and Edward were out there. She could feel their presence. It was odd but she just knew they were being watched. Jacob knew too. He was very tense. He hadn't been sleeping much, only ten minutes at a time during the day. At night he was at his most vigilant. Bella wished she could talk about it with Jacob, but there wasn't much chance with Charlie in the room. Bella wasn't certain how much her father knew about anything.

Night drew in. They would be leaving in the early hours of the morning and heading to the airport to catch their flight. The time couldn't come soon enough. Charlie was asleep on the twin bed. Bella was in the other. Jacob was outside, keeping watch. The temperature outside was frigid but it had no effect on him. The sky was dark, only a few stars managed to pierce the thick cloud cover. His breath fogged in the air in front of him every time he breathed. It reminded him of the many nights he used to stand guard outside Bella's house in the lead up to the newborn battle. At least then he had his brothers to back him up, but here he was in unfamiliar territory and felt exposed. He scanned the immediate area keenly. Everything was quiet, too quiet. It was like the silence before the storm. Something was building up he could feel it. He was surprised that the bloodsuckers hadn't made a move already. But perhaps they were trying to wear him down by biding their time. Well they didn't have long left. In a few short hours they would be leaving Anchorage for good.

The door to their lodgings cracked open and a thin ray of light lit up the darkness. Jacob turned as Bella shuffled outside. "You should be resting."

"I can't sleep." Bella smiled wearily at the irony. Normally she did nothing but sleep, but the heightened tension was even piercing her exhaustion.

"It's cold out here, Bells. You should stay inside." Jacob motioned for her to go back in.

"Can I stay with you just for a minute?" Bella pleaded. "I'll tuck myself under your arm. You're like your own sun."

Jacob couldn't help but smile. It wasn't the first time she had called him that. "I'm glad that I'm useful for something." He held out his arm and Bella ducked underneath and snuggled into his side.

"Where have all the stars gone?" Bella asked as she gazed up at the heavens.

"They're resting just like you should be." Jacob replied in amusement.

"I do nothing but sleep." Bella lowered her gaze to the ground. Her memories of her time with the Cullens were fragmented and hazy. Sometimes she felt like she was going crazy. "What happened to me, Jake?" She said suddenly taking him by surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"I never used to be this person." Bella didn't seem to expect an answer. She continued to ramble. "When I moved to Forks and first lived with dad I was an independent person. I knew my own mind. Where did that girl go?"

Jacob vividly recalled his first encounter with Bella when she had first come back to Forks. He had been captivated even then. He remembered his excitement when Billy told him that Charlie's daughter was coming to stay permanently. He had never forgotten the pale girl with the sparkling brown eyes who used to play with him during the summer break when she came to visit her dad. In her seventeenth year she was older, more beautiful then he remembered. He was fifteen and still finding his feet around girls. But once he laid eyes on her he never saw anyone else. She was bright, funny and yes, fiercely independent. Billy had brought the old Chevy over to Forks so Charlie could give Bella her homecoming present. Jacob had spent hours fixing the old monster up. The time had been worth it when he watched the ray of happiness cross Bella's face at the sight of the old monster. She loved that truck so much.

Bella was still talking, as if lost in the past. "I keep trying to pinpoint the moment that she disappeared and you know what I simply can't remember. I think it was a gradual thing." She sighed, reaching out to loop a lock of hair behind her ear. "I want to find that girl again."

"You will, Bells." Jacob said earnestly.

"My Jacob." Bella smiled tiredly as she suppressed a yawn. It was catching up with her now. "I suppose I better go to bed." She said reluctantly.

"Night, Bells."

"Night." Bella slipped out from under his arm and went back inside.

* * *

It was nearly four in the morning when Carlisle Cullen finally made his move. Jacob had sensed something would go down but he didn't expect the coven leader to saunter confidently out of the darkness, bold as you like. He was alone. Edward Cullen was nowhere in sight. Jacob got ready to phase. Edward was probably hiding in the shadows like the coward he was while Carlisle was there to distract him.

"I come in peace." Carlisle held up his hands as he approached. "You cannot phase Jacob Black. You would only expose yourself. People are stirring already. You can hear them."

Jacob scowled. Carlisle Cullen was right. God, he wanted to rip the bastards head from his shoulders. He couldn't believe the vamp doctor's audacity. "I don't give a shit right now. If it means I get to tear your sick head from your shoulders it will be worth it."

"Your anger is understandable." Carlisle said easily as if he was just enjoying a pleasant chat with a friend. "You are protecting Bella. Or at least think you are. But in reality all you are doing is hurting her. She is ill, Jacob Black. Dangerously ill. Whatever she has told you is a lie." His blonde hair rippled gently in the wind. His expression was open. Sincerity dripped from his tongue. Only Jacob knew how poisonous his words could be.

"Bella has told me nothing." Jacob countered sharply. "Whatever sick experiments you've been performing on her have wiped her memory. You are an evil scumbag. You will pay for what you've done to her."

Carlisle's expression didn't waver. "I have done nothing but try my best to cure Bella of what ails her. Her condition is delicate. Each moment that she remains untreated is detrimental to her health. I don't know why you are under the allusion that I have been performing experiments on her. I am a doctor. I took a scared oath to heal not harm."

"Bullshit." Jacob snarled. The sky was getting lighter. Soon the sun would be up, so would Charlie and Bella. Jacob could hear other people inside the lodgings beginning to stir. Carlisle was a crafty bastard for confronting him here in full view of others. Jacob pulled the notebook out of his back pocket and waved it in the air. "This says otherwise."

For the first time a wave of emotion crossed the vamp leader's face. "Whatever is in there is false." He denied vociferously.

"It is all documented in your own hand." Jacob challenged him. "I know about the experiments you've been performing. I know you stole my blood and Ephraim Black's too."

"You have it all wrong." Carlisle insisted.

"Bella wasn't the first; you experimented on the little seer too." Jacob snapped. He was getting angrier with each passing second. He was having difficulty fighting the wolf inside him. His counterpart was screaming for the kill. Jacob wanted to give in but he couldn't with too many witnesses around him.

Carlisle's posture relaxed completely. "Ah I see. Alice gave you the notebook. She was the one who took Bella away from us." He nodded wisely as if it was all making sense now. Jacob frowned, wondering what bullshit story the vamp would concoct next. He didn't have long to wait. Carlisle emitted a weary sigh. "Poor Alice, she does suffer so." He schooled his handsome features into an expression of deep sorrow. "Let me tell you about Alice. She was born in 1901 into a middle class home in Biloxi, Mississippi. Her parents were simple folk; her father was a jeweller and pearl trader. He travelled often. Her mother stayed at home to care for Alice and her younger sister."

"I don't have time to listen to this bullshit." Jacob interrupted him.

"Oh you do." Carlisle insisted. He was closer now. Jacob's nose wrinkled as his sickeningly sweet scent wafted over him. "You need to understand about Alice." He began to speak faster, more urgently. "Alice was prone to having premonitions of the future as a child. Though she rarely spoke about her power, people in town talked a lot about her through her adolescent years. On two occasions she tried to warn a friend and one of her cousins about her predictions. They refused to listen. When the predictions came true she was branded a witch and was blamed for cursing them."

"So?" Jacob spat sarcastically. He wished he had a lighter on him. He would get pleasure out of seeing Carlisle burn into a pile of ashes.

"Alice had a horrifying vision of her mother being murdered. She told her father who refused to listen, so he silenced her. Months later her prediction came true. Her father remarried quickly. He was the real killer. To cover his tracks her father had Alice declared insane and she was incarcerated in a mental asylum two counties away."

It was a horrifying story and Jacob found himself drawn in despite his hatred of Carlisle.

"She endured some vicious treatments while inside. Her head was shaved. She endured electroshock therapy which rendered her completely mad. Then she encountered James."

"The same vamp that bit Bella." Jacob's fists clenched.

"Yes, he was the one who turned her. Once she was a vampire her madness only intensified along with her psychic powers. I came across her a few years later; she was a wretched little creature. But I am a doctor. I knew I could heal her enough to make her second shot at existing worthwhile. It worked to an extent. She was always particularly close to Edward. His mind reading ability bonded them. I think when Bella came into his life she became increasingly jealous of her. Bella was everything she wanted to be but couldn't. Alice is insane. She has set me up, she has set you up and Edward, too. In doing so she has put Bella's life at risk."

The sun was rising now. The faint rays lit up Carlisle's face and his skin began to sparkle. "I cannot stay here much longer. But I had to risk it and tell you what I know. You are not a fool Jacob Black. I am not your enemy. Edward loves his wife. He would and has done everything to protect her. He will continue to do so as will I. You can take Bella back to Forks but be assured we will follow. I am the only one who can help her." Carlisle finished earnestly.

The door handle rattled. Jacob could hear Charlie calling his name. It was time to leave. The door opened and Charlie emerged. "It's time." He stopped speaking when he saw the angry expression on Jacob's face. "What's wrong?"

Jacob whipped around to face Carlisle. But as he expected the vamp doctor was nowhere to be seen. "We have to get out of here, Charlie. _Now_." Jacob said abruptly as he ran back inside to wake Bella and collect their belongings.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!**_

 **Chapter Eight**

Bella slept on the plane ride home. It wasn't a restful sleep. She had nightmares. Charlie was the one sitting beside her as Jacob's seat was a few rows away. When Bella first started to stir, Charlie didn't realise what was about to happen. He thought he would be able to gently wake her and try and soothe her fears. But it didn't work like that. He just couldn't get her to wake up no matter how hard he tried. The other passengers around them began to stare. Charlie tried again but Bella continued to resist. And then she let out a piercing scream. It was so loud that it disturbed the whole plane. Two stewards came up to see what the hell was going on, probably thinking that Charlie was murdering his daughter. Bella was writhing in her seat as if in pain.

"Is she having a fit?" One of the stewards asked. "We need a medic."

"No, she's not." Charlie tried to quieten Bella but she just got louder.

Jacob quickly got out of his seat as soon as he heard Bella scream. It had ripped his soul to shreds hearing that. Whatever she was experiencing in her dreams must be truly horrific.

"Sit back in your seat please, sir." One of the stewards said immediately as he tried to block Jacob's path. He gulped when he saw the size of him. "There's nothing to see here." He ended nervously.

"He's with us." Charlie said desperately. He scowled when he saw the other passengers still staring. Some had their cell phones out and were filming. He was appalled. He gritted his teeth. "My daughter suffers from night terrors. That is all this is. Once she wakes up she will be fine."

"When will that be?" The other steward interrupted him. "She's causing a scene."

"Oh piss off." Jacob snapped as he shoved the steward aside. "Just get those gruesome idiots to stop videoing. Let's swap." He said to Charlie. The older man hesitated for a moment before complying. If anyone could get Bella to calm down it was Jacob.

"You can't just swap seats." The steward interrupted again as he tried to sound authoritative.

"Oh, shut up." Charlie flashed his badge. "I'm a cop. There is nothing to see here." He glared at the passengers filming his daughter's distress. "And if you lot don't delete that footage I'll arrest all of you." He threatened. It was an empty one he knew that, but most of them complied.

Jacob sat down beside Bella. She was talking incomprehensibly in her sleep. At least she was a lot quieter now. He touched her face with gentle fingers. He marvelled as the blood flowed to her cheeks as if she was blushing. "Bells, you need to wake up." He said softly.

Bella mumbled something again before she finally began to stir. Her eyelids fluttered open. She gasped in fear before she became more lucid and realised it was Jacob. "What's happening?"

"It's alright you had a bad dream." Jacob smiled at her before raising his head to glare at the two stewards who were staring at Bella in fascination. "Haven't you got jobs to do?" He said pointedly.

"Yes…um….she seems fine now." The first steward took off abruptly. His colleague hovered for a few seconds, seeming to have a death wish, until another fierce glare from Jacob sent him scuttling away.

* * *

Charlie was thankful when they landed in Seattle. He didn't think he could take any more stress. He felt guilty for letting Jacob bear the brunt of looking after Bella for the rest of the flight. But the kid seemed to handle it just fine. Thinking back on it Jacob had always known how to handle Bella. Charlie knew it was his tender loving care that had pulled Bella out of her depression when that son of a bitch she ended up marrying had abandoned her. Now he was relying on Billy's boy to do it again. It wasn't fair on him. But Charlie knew that Bella needed Jacob right now. He was thankful that the boy had such a forgiving heart. Charlie would be forever grateful. He knew without Jacob that he wouldn't have even found his daughter. All he wanted to do was check out of the airport, collect the cruiser and go find their motel. But it was never going to be that easy.

Charlie helped his daughter along while Jacob carried their meagre belongings. As they made their way through the airport terminal and headed for the carports they found some familiar faces waiting for them. Charlie heard Jacob curse as he laid eyes on Samuel Uley and Paul Lahote. He put his arm around his daughter as they neared the two guys. Charlie knew they were friends of Jacob's but he had no idea why they would be there. Jacob looked pissed as he strode over to Sam and Paul. Charlie kept his distance with Bella. Clearly this wasn't going to be a pleasant meeting by the look on Jacob's face so he made sure that they were out of earshot for Bella's sake. Although, he wished he could hear what was being said. Charlie glanced at Bella. His daughter was shaking with nerves and she was chewing on her bottom lip.

"It's okay, kiddo. I suspect that Billy sent them to support Jake or something." He said to comfort her.

"Yes." Bella replied faintly. She doubted that Billy had sent them. Jacob's father would never do that. No Sam had done this deliberately. She had only been back in Washington State for five minutes and she was already causing problems.

* * *

Jacob was livid when he saw Uley and Lahote. Sam had rocked up on purpose to try and intimidate him. He had also brought along his least favourite pack brother as back up. It was a pathetic attempt to take control. He stormed up to Sam and glared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you that." Sam retorted. "Seth let slip you were bringing Bella back. I had to see for myself."

"This could have waited until I got back." Jacob argued.

"I needed to see." Sam insisted.

"See what? Bella is not changed." Jacob wanted to punch Sam. He was having trouble keeping his voice down.

"You're joking, right." Paul muttered as he gaped at Bella and Charlie. "She looks like a ghost."

"Fuck off, Lahote." Jacob snarled. "Stop staring. Bella has been through enough."

"Why are you even getting involved in her shit again?" Paul shook his head in disbelief.

"Be quiet, Paul." Sam warned him as he noticed Jacob getting angrier with each passing second.

"Why did you even bring him?" Jacob demanded.

"I left Jared in charge of the pack and I thought it best to have back up. Wherever Bella goes, vampires follow. I wanted to know what we were up against." Sam responded coldly.

"For fucks sake." Jacob was close to snapping.

"Is this a flying visit or will she be going back to them?" Sam asked harshly.

"This is a permanent move." Jacob tried to keep his voice down but he was seriously losing it. "Just go back to La Push, Sam. You've seen her with your own eyes now. So piss off. I'll be back later tomorrow. We can argue this out then."

Sam's lips thinned. He glanced over at Bella, then met Jacob's stony gaze. This wasn't a fight he could win. He really didn't want Bella Cullen back near his home turf. Life had settled down while she had been gone. He had never expected that he would ever have to see her again. Like Paul and a couple of the others, Sam thought Bella was nothing but trouble. Everyone had already risked enough for her sake only to have it thrown back at them when she married the bloodsucker and essentially went off to die. What had been the point of keeping her alive if that was what she had chosen for her future? As far as he was concerned the Cullens should have taken Bella and fucked off long before the newborn battle took place.

"Why did you have to get involved again, Jake?" Sam asked eventually. "You were doing so well. You were seeing Charlotte. She's a good girl. She's…"

"Not a leech lover." Paul interjected sarcastically.

Jacob's eyes blazed. His hand shot out and he grabbed Paul's shirt, dragging him forward. "Keep your dirty comments to yourself." He inhaled sharply as he tried to get his temper under control. He let go of Paul and shoved him away before returning his attention to Sam. "This is not the time or place. If you are not going to support me then I suggest you leave, now."

Sam stared him down. Paul was about to make another flippant comment when Sam silenced him with an Alpha command. Paul scowled in response. "You ask too much, Jacob." Sam said wearily. He ran his fingers through his hair restlessly.

"I ask nothing." Jacob replied as he glanced back at Bella. His expression softened as he gazed at her. She looked close to collapse. "Support me or don't. Either way I'm on team Bella."

Sam frowned as he mulled over what Jacob had said. He wished that Bella Cullen would just vanish in a puff of smoke. But despite what he wanted she would be living in his back yard anyway. "Fine." He said through gritted teeth. "But we all head home tonight. I won't be blindsided, Jacob."

Jacob decided to demur to Sam on this point. He was too wired up to rest anyway. Home was calling him. He would feel safer once Bella was safely in La Push. That was a point he was going to have to discuss with Charlie on the drive home. "Alright." He finally agreed.

Sam said no more. He jerked his head in greeting to Charlie and Bella who were still hovering in the distance, before striding out of the airport with a sullen Paul following behind.

* * *

Bella was laid out in the back seat of the cruiser fast asleep. Jacob and Charlie took turns driving. They hadn't shared much conversation. Charlie could see how tense Jacob was. He didn't want to push him. Whatever Sam Uley had said to him had definitely gotten under the boy's skin. Charlie knew it had to do with Bella. That was obvious. Charlie couldn't fault Sam. He was the one who had found Bella in the forest the day that Edward Cullen had first abandoned her. He would be forever grateful for that. He had been so relieved at her return that he had never questioned how Sam had managed to trace her so easily when trained tracker dogs had failed. Charlie had witnessed so many odd things over the years, even more in Anchorage regarding Jacob. When Billy's kid had returned from his tense meeting with Uley and told him that they would be driving home that night, Charlie hadn't questioned him. It was because he had complete faith in Jacob. He was protecting Bella. Charlie didn't know how or understand why, but he trusted Jacob implicitly to follow wherever he led.

* * *

It was raining heavily. The wipers were having difficulty clearing it off the windscreen. Now this was familiar. Despite the horrible driving conditions Charlie was feeling more relaxed. It meant they were closer to home. He glanced behind quickly at his daughter. Bella was still spread-eagled across the back seat wrapped in a blanket, deeply asleep. She hadn't stirred once. She looked so fragile. Charlie wanted to just scoop her up and keep her safe. He sighed as his gaze swept by Jacob. Billy's kid had done most of the driving so far which allowed Charlie to find rest. When he had woken up hours later he had to order the boy to pull over so he could take over. Jacob was supposed to be sleeping but he was still wide awake.

"Not long now. I can't wait to get Bells back home where she belongs." Charlie returned his attention to the road. It was slick with water.

"About that." Jacob sat up straighter in his seat. "I don't think Bella should stay in Forks right now. Or you either. If Cullen comes back looking…"

"You want us in La Push." Charlie reasoned. He kept one hand on the steering wheel while he used the other to scratch his chin. He needed a shave.

"Yes." Jacob was surprised by how calm the chief sounded. Charlie had been surprising him a lot over the last few days. He had been so accepting and hadn't questioned him once.

"I can see the sense in that." Charlie agreed. He put both hands back on the steering wheel and gripped it tightly. "Is that what Sam was so ambivalent about. I could see the tension."

Jacob stared straight ahead as he frowned. He could see Sam's black truck a few meters in front. Uley and Lahote had been escorting them home. He couldn't ignore the irony. "He's just worried, that's all."

"I can understand that." Charlie glanced wearily behind him at Bella again. "He's looking out for you. I know Bells hurt you pretty bad."

It was the first time Charlie had ever openly acknowledged Jacob's deeper feelings for his daughter. All Jacob could do was nod. "That's history now." He mumbled.

"History has a way of coming back to bite us on the ass. I should know." Charlie replied. "Even though she's my baby and I love the bones of her. I won't excuse her behaviour. Cullen was very controlling. He influenced a lot of her bad choices. I'm sorry you got hurt because of it, kid."

Jacob stared at his hands. He didn't know what to say. This conversation was bringing back old hurt he had buried deep and would rather forget. But Charlie seemed to feel the need to get a few things off his chest. "A lot of it is my fault. I was absent for most of Bella's life. I should have made more effort to be involved no matter how much it pissed Renee off."

"I thought you and Renee had a cordial relationship." Jacob couldn't help but ask. He had never seen any tension between Charlie and his former wife when they were together, unless they were very good at hiding it.

"We're polite to each other for Bella's sake. But when Renee first left and took Bells with her, not so much. I was hurt and I got depressed. I couldn't follow them you see. Not matter how much I wanted to." Charlie gazed at the rain as it continued to lash the windscreen and drummed on the roof. He was forced to slow down as the traffic was building up. "My parents were getting old and they weren't in good health. I couldn't just take off and leave them. Their conditions worsened over time and four years later I lost both of them."

"I'm sorry, Charlie." Jacob apologised. This was the first time he had heard Bella's father speak about his past or the impact of Renee leaving had on him.

"I'm not making excuses." Charlie rubbed a hand over his face before he turned to look at his sleeping daughter again. "I should have done more to be part of Bella's life instead of accepting the occasional summer visit whenever it suited Renee. But it was hard. I was grieving. My job became my wife I suppose. I became obsessed with moving up the ranks. I wanted to prove that I was good at something, you know."

"You were always there if Bella needed you." Jacob said quietly. "She always knew that."

Charlie shook his head. His face was full of guilt. "No, I don't think she did. I closed myself off emotionally after Renee left. I never dated another woman again. I wouldn't allow myself to get hurt. I should have been more open with Bella. I should have told her how I felt. How much she meant to me. Instead I expected her to just know." He sighed heavily. "I have so much that I regret, Jake. I let my hurt take over my whole life and before I knew it my daughter was seventeen and I missed the most important years. No wonder Cullen got his hooks into her so easily."

"It's not your fault." Jacob insisted.

"I let my girl down, Jake." Charlie finished sadly. "And there's nothing that can change that."

* * *

Bella pressed her face into the thick blanket as she tried to suppress her tears. Just like that night she had feigned sleep in the tent and had overheard Jacob and Edward's conversation; she had done the same thing now. It was so hard to hear. The pain in Charlie's voice as he acknowledged Jacob's hurt from her rejection and then later voicing his regrets as a father was heart breaking. She wished she could go back into the past and change everything, but that option was lost to her. She was so lucky that Jacob and Charlie were so forgiving. It would take a lifetime to make up for the hurt she had caused. If she ever could. There was so much that she couldn't remember. It just made it all so much worse and compounded her misery. She didn't deserve either of them. As Bella's emotions began to overwhelm her, she slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Daylight was approaching as they finally reached La Push. The heavy rain had turned into a fine drizzle. Sam's truck was still in front of them as Charlie followed it onto the dirt track leading to the Black's. As the familiar redwood house came into view Charlie felt relief wash over him. He parked behind Sam's truck. Jacob got out swiftly. He went straight over to Uley and Lahote. Charlie couldn't overhear what they were saying but at least they didn't seem to be arguing like before.

After a few moments Jacob returned. "I'll open up and then come back for Bella."

"Alright, kid." Charlie smiled wearily. He climbed out of the cruiser and stretched. Sam Uley nodded at him again in silent greeting. Paul Lahote looked stonily in the other direction. Charlie wondered why they were still hanging around. Billy was still at the Clearwaters.

"Ready?" Jacob's voice seemed to come out of nowhere. Charlie hadn't even heard him approach. He nodded to cover his surprise. He watched as Jacob ducked down and carefully eased Bella out of the back seat. She was still comatose. Jacob stood up and carried her bridal style toward the house. Charlie grabbed their gear and followed him.

"I'll put Bells in my room. Make yourself at home, Charlie." Jacob disappeared again leaving Charlie to settle himself in.

* * *

Jacob was irritated that he couldn't stay. But Sam insisted on a meeting. Paul was left to guard the house while they went off alone. Jacob phased for the first time in days. It actually felt good to let his wolf free after days spent subduing him. He ran through the forest taking the lead, wallowing in the exhilaration of pushing his strong body to its limits. They didn't speak but Jacob allowed Sam to probe his thoughts, getting all the information he needed that way. It was easier than trying to find the right words to explain the emotional strain of the last few days. As Sam learned the truth of what Bella had endured over the last eighteen months his attitude began to change. He was shocked and horrified just like Jacob had been.

"That's fucking twisted." Sam rarely swore but in this instance it was called for. "Let's head to the Clearwater's. We can fill your dad in. You should bring that notebook with you. I'd like to read it and we should show it to Sue. She may understand some of the medical jargon we can't understand."

Jacob didn't hide his relief that Sam was finally seeing things his way. With his Alpha on side it would make it a lot easier to ask for help in keeping Bella safe. This time he followed the Black wolf as Sam changed direction and headed for the Clearwater family home.

* * *

Billy was aghast. After his initial celebration that Jacob was home safe, his feelings turned to shock as he learned about what had happened to Bella since she had left for her honeymoon. It was sickening. He listened as his son haltingly described his last conversation with Carlisle Cullen.

"He denied everything."

"He's desperate not to be exposed." Billy shook his head in disbelief. "I am sorry that I tried to warn you not to get involved again, son. I was wrong."

"You were looking out for me. You all were." Jacob glanced at Sam. His Alpha was pouring over the notebook with Sue Clearwater. Her children were out patrolling the borders along with the others. "What do you think?" His question was directed at the Clearwater matriarch. Sue had taken her place on the council after Harry's death so she was privy to all the secrets.

"I'm not a doctor, Jacob." Sue said cautiously.

"You have medical knowledge. You're a nurse." Jacob persisted. "Some if it must make sense to you."

Sue sighed. "No." She pointed to one particular page. "None of it makes sense. In fact I would say this has been cobbled together by a complete amateur."

"Are you saying its fake, Sue?" Billy asked before Jacob had a chance to.

"I'm not a doctor." Sue said again. "But from what I've read so far then yes."

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews!**_

 **Chapter Nine**

"You can't be serious." Jacob grabbed the notebook and began to flip through it. His keen eyes scanned the contents. The more he read the more he realised that he had been duped. His heart sank as he reached the end to find that the memory stick that had been taped to the back of the book was missing. "Son of a bitch." He roared as a white hot flash of anger surged through him. Jacob threw the notebook across the room.

"JACOB, CALM DOWN. NOW!" Sam ordered instantly when he saw Jacob beginning to shake. He was on the verge of phasing. Instinctively the others sitting at the table made space just in case Jacob did in fact lose control. Sam got in his face and confronted Jacob, getting ready to wrestle him to the ground if he failed to get a grip on his anger.

"Son, what is it?" Billy asked in alarm. He stared at his son. Jacob was taking deep shuddering breaths. He was still shaking. Sue had gone to retrieve the notebook but she still maintained her distance, eyeing Jacob warily.

"He tricked me." Jacob spat. He fell back into his chair and slammed both fists on the table. "The bastard was playing me all along."

"Who?" Sam pulled up a chair beside Jacob and frowned.

"Carlisle." Jacob said incredulously. His anger was now directed at himself. "All that stuff he fed me was bullshit just so he could distract me and get his hands on the real notebook." His fists clenched again as he tried to work out the exact second the vamp doctor had managed to steal it. Jacob recalled having it in his hand but when Charlie had come outside to tell him it was time to leave; Jacob had turned his back on Carlisle for a brief second. He had stuffed the notebook in the back pocket of his jeans. This had given Carlisle the perfect opportunity to take it. The bastard had used an old trick, sleight of hand to obtain it. The fake was very close to the original so unless you examined it closely you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. This was the first time Jacob had really looked at it since reaching La Push.

"You're saying the coven leader switched it." Billy checked as he returned to the table.

"Yes." Jacob replied in frustration. "And I gave him the perfect opportunity." He described to the others when he thought the switch had taken place.

"You couldn't have known." Billy said gently as he tried to reason with his son. He hated seeing Jacob blame himself.

"He's right." Sam agreed. "You were in a difficult situation. I saw through your thoughts the conversation you had with him. I wouldn't have seen that coming either."

Jacob loved that they were trying to support him, even Sam, surprisingly. But he still blamed himself. He had failed Bella already. He had failed everyone. He had taken his eye off the ball. He knew how sneaky the vamps were. That had been proven when he had found the evidence of his own blood from the shattered vials. He shouldn't have let his guard down. He was a fool to let Carlisle even see the notebook. Hindsight was a bitch. There was nothing he could do now. What tormented him the most was the loss of the memory stick. Now he would never know what was on it.

"There is little we can do about that now." Sue intervened, trying to be practical. "I think the best course of action is to let me see Bella and give her a check over. I can only do so much but maybe it'll help."

"Thanks Sue." Billy patted her hand. "We'd appreciate that."

"Yeah, thanks." Jacob echoed him.

"No time like the present." Sue said briskly as she stood up and went to fetch her coat.

* * *

So as not to make Charlie suspicious or put more pressure on Bella, Sam stayed outside with Paul and kept watch. As soon as they went inside Billy greeted Charlie. Bella's dad was relieved to see his friend. The two men went off into the kitchen and shared a beer, talking in low voices. Jacob and Sue headed to Jacob's room where Bella was resting. Charlie had told them the last time he had checked on his daughter that she was still asleep. But when Jacob knocked quietly on the door Bella answered.

Jacob went in first and Sue followed. "Hey, Bells." He smiled as he entered the room and hunkered down by the side of the bed. Bella was sitting up propped against the pillows. She still looked tired. The dark circles were more prominent than ever. She raised her hand and put it over Jacob's. The sleeve of her sweater fell back and Sue got a glimpse of how thin her arm was. She was shocked at how frail Charlie's daughter was but she hid it behind a smile. "Sue has offered to give you a free check-up. Do you feel up for that?"

"Hi, Bella." Sue said before Bella could respond. "It's good to see you."

"Hi." Bella smiled weakly. "It's good to see you too."

"Jake, why don't you make us both a hot drink?" Sue said as a way to get him to leave the room for a while. She thought it would be easier on Bella if it was just the two of them. Some of the questions she was going to ask were personal and with Jake being a guy, it might make her uncomfortable.

Jacob gazed at Bella. He was still holding her hand. He was reluctant to leave. "Are you thirsty, Bells?"

"I would like some coffee." Bella knew what Sue was trying to do. There was no way she could stomach anything, but it would take time for Jacob to make the hot drinks.

"Okay. I'll be back soon." Jacob squeezed her hand before he finally left.

* * *

Sue picked up her medical bag and began to unpack some of the things she needed. She put her professional face on. "First, I'd like to take your blood pressure. Are you alright with that?" She smiled kindly.

"That's fine." Bella returned her smile tremulously.

Sue picked up the blood pressure kit and carefully pushed the sleeve of Bella's sweater up her arm. God, the child was so thin. She was practically skin and bone. Bella's skin was snow white and had an odd translucent quality to it. As Sue arranged the blood pressure cuff around the top of Bella's left arm she glanced at her wrist. She paused, touching the faint red spots that she found just above the old scar from James' bite.

"Have you had a drip attached to you, Bella?" Sue asked. She made sure that her tone was nonchalant as if it was a standard question.

Bella's eyes travelled to her arm. Her brow furrowed as she tried to remember. In her dreams she had seen herself in Carlisle's study with an IV bag full of some kind of fluid being fed through a cannula. But she wasn't sure that it had ever really happened. Frustrated tears welled in her eyes. "I can't remember."

"That's okay." Sue noted Bella's distress. This was a very sick young woman. She finished with the cuff and then inflated it to take Bella's blood pressure. Sue remained silent as she checked the results. _No, that had to be wrong_. She hid her worry behind her professional mask as she told Bella she just needed to do it again.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, dear. It's fine." Sue did the procedure all over again. The results were the same. She swallowed thickly. This couldn't be right. She tried a third time just to make sure the equipment wasn't faulty. But it remained the same. Sue took a deep breath as she packed the blood pressure kit away. She felt Bella's eyes on her. She put on another bright smile. "That's done then."

"Was it normal?" Bella asked anxiously.

"Um….it's a little low." Sue revealed. _Try practically non-existent_ , Sue thought to herself. No wonder the girl was passing out every five minutes. It explained her sluggishness. Sue was very worried. It was at such a low level that Bella had a high risk of heart failure. This girl needed to be in a hospital. "Now I need you to relax, Bella. I'm just going to take your temperature."

"Okay." Despite Sue's best efforts Bella was picking up on the older woman's anxiety. She felt her heart begin to race.

Sue put the temperature gage in Bella's ear to get a quick reading. When she saw the results she had to turn away to hide her distress from Bella, she took a few deep breaths before she plastered on another smile. "I'm just going to check the temperature again."

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked fearfully.

"Don't worry." Sue patted her hand. Jeez, Bella's skin was ice cold. Sue used her other ear to take another reading. The results were the same. "When was the last time you menstruated, Bella?"

Bella tried to remember. She racked her brain but nothing came to mind. Her memories were foggy and fragmented. She couldn't trust what she was seeing in her head. "I don't know. I'm sorry." She cried.

"No worries." Sue patted Bella's hand again. "Just keep nice and calm."

"What's wrong with me?" Bella pleaded. "I can see you're worried. Please tell me what's going on."

Sue looked at the broken girl in sympathy. Whatever the vamps had done it had sucked the life out of her. Bella was showing signs of anaemia, and severe dehydration. Sue was guessing she was anorexic or bulimic, maybe both. Her blood pressure was dangerously low. That explained the extreme tiredness and the look of her skin. The girl's temperature was a misnomer. Out of the two readings she had taken one had been so low that it showed hypothermia, the second had been so high that it rivalled Jacob's and his brothers. It had been 103 degrees.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella." Sue perched on the edge of the bed. "You are very unwell. You are dangerously underweight. Your blood pressure is low. I am guessing you're anaemic and dehydrated. Have you been eating properly?"

"I find it hard." Bella whispered. "Food is so tasteless, even water makes me want to heave." Tears welled in her eyes. "Carlisle prescribed this vitamin powder. It was on all my food and in my drink."

Sue froze. "Vitamin powder?"

"Yes."

"What did it look like?" Sue asked trying to sound casual.

"It was white, like sugar." Bella replied worriedly. "I didn't like taking it but Edward always insisted."

"Okay." Sue had trouble keeping her voice steady. This sounded more sinister with every passing second. "You rest, okay. I'll get Jacob to bring in that drink." She patted Bella's hand again before she left.

* * *

Jacob was on his way back with the drinks when he came across Sue in the hallway. The older woman was leaning with her back pressed against the wall. Her eyes were closed but Jacob noticed the tracks of her tears. His heart clinched in his chest at the sight of Sue's silent distress. The mugs of coffee wobbled in his hands and he was forced to put them down before the contents spilled all over the floor.

"What is it?" Jacob said in a low voice as he approached Sue.

Sue jumped at his sudden appearance. Her eyes flared open and she hurriedly tried to regain her composure. "I was just coming to get you."

"I'm here now." Jacob's dark eyes roamed her face. Sue's cheeks were flushed. "How's Bella?" His voice cracked as he asked.

"She's very sick, Jake." Sue whispered. She struggled to hide her distress. "She needs to be in hospital." She watched the colour drain from his face as she told him the results of her brief examination. "She needs blood tests. Those vamps were putting powder in her food. They said to her it was some type of vitamin, but…" She shook her head in disbelief.

"They were drugging her." Jacob said miserably. Sue had only read the fake notebook; she had never seen the original or read Carlisle's personal logs, if that's what they were. He hurriedly told Sue some of what he had read. He was glad he had a photographic memory. He watched the dawning horror on the older woman's face. "They pumped venom into her. Then they mixed it with my blood." His expression was tormented as he continued. "I know that's true because I found traces of my blood in a broken vial that Bella had with her when the seer dropped her off. So Carlisle Cullen definitely had samples. He took them without me knowing when I was injured after the newborn battle."

"Jake." Sue moaned. "How is Bella even alive?"

"According to his logs Bella's immune system was fighting back. The mixture of the venom and my blood were being ejected through the pores of her skin. That was the way her body was managing to expel the poisonous mixture."

"What the hell was he trying to achieve?" Sue was horrified. She put a hand over her mouth. "I feel sick."

"He kept telling Bella he was trying to find a fucking cure. Whatever that means." Jacob said helplessly. "I don't know what to do. I can't take her to the hospital because of what they might find…but you say she is so sick that she…" He couldn't complete the sentence. "Help me." He begged.

Sue racked her brains as she put a comforting hand on Jacobs's arm. There was little she could do. She was just a simple nurse. She wasn't even certain the most gifted medical practitioner could cure Bella's malady. She sighed sadly. "The most I can do is take some of her blood and get it checked. I have a contact who owes me a favour. It's a risk though." She chewed on her bottom lip. "Jake, I think it might be the time to start exploring other options to help in Bella's case. Maybe you should talk to Old Quil." Sue looked at Jacob's stricken face. "I'm sorry I can't do more." She apologised. "I'm going to have a quiet word with your father, then Sam when I leave. I'll let you and Billy decide what you are going to tell Charlie. You can't keep this from him for much longer."

"I know." Jacob said thickly. He was barely holding it together. He had just gotten Bella back and he could lose her. They were running out of options fast. "Thanks Sue."

"You're welcome." Sue smiled at him sadly as she got ready to leave. "She's in there waiting for you. Try and keep her stress levels down, she needs as much rest as she can. We don't want to put anymore strain on that heart of hers." She kept quiet about the strain on his. Sue patted his arm one last time before she left him alone to his thoughts.

* * *

"Hey, Bells." Jacob greeted her with his sunny smile. "One mug of steaming hot coffee coming right up."

Bella wasn't fooled by his false cheer but she kept her worries to herself as he handed her the coffee. Just the smell of it made her want to vomit. Coffee used to be one of her favourite drinks. The ever present tears welled in her eyes. Jacob sat beside her on the bed, holding his own drink in his hand. He tapped their mugs together before he raised his to his lips. Bella gulped as she did the same. She took a sip and nearly gagged as the warm liquid slithered down her throat. She tried to hide her distress behind a smile just like he did.

"You always used to say to me that you never felt awake in the morning until you'd had your coffee." Jacob reminded her.

"I said that did I." Bella tried to recall the memory but it eluded her.

"Yes." Jacob put his mug down and shifted on the bed so he was lying right beside her. He stretched his long legs out in front of him and crossed them at the ankle. Bella leaned her head on his shoulder as he put his arm around her. "It was your morning ritual."

"Oh." Bella wished she could remember. It worried her that even little things she used to do before she got involved with the Cullens were fading. She kept her worries buried inside. "I was quite daft, wasn't I." She mumbled.

Jacob smiled wistfully. "No you were just Bells." He rubbed the top of her arm as she sighed softly. "I can still remember the first day we met. You were five. I was in the front yard at home and Charlie brought you over to play with my sisters. But you know Rach and Beck they never needed anybody but each other."

"Rach and Beck?" Bella echoed faintly. Who were Rach and Beck? She struggled to remember.

"You were so shy, but so darn cute too. You stood watching me, wondering what the hell I was doing in the mud." Jacob continued. He was back in the past. "I said did you want to help me make them and you shook your head no because you didn't want to get your shoes dirty."

Bella looked up at his profile. He was so handsome, so sweet and kind. She gripped her mug between her fingers, trying to stop her hands shaking. "Did I help you make…. _them_?" She couldn't remember what them was.

"Eventually." Jacob grinned as he stroked her arm again with his warm fingers. "When Charlie came back for you I wasn't the only one covered in mud."

"It sounds like it was fun." Bella could have cried. Her heart was breaking. What else was she going to lose? Were her memories the next thing? Would she disappear piece by piece until there was nothing left?

"It was." Jacob came back into the moment. He gazed down at her and was surprised to see her looking so upset. "I'm sorry, Bells. I shouldn't keep rambling about the past."

"You are not rambling." Bella insisted. "Please talk some more. I like hearing you speak. It makes me happy reminiscing about our past. Please." _And it may help me remember who I used to be_ , she thought desperately.

"Okay." Jacob was pleased that he was making her happy. He felt her nestle into his side as he began to talk.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!**_

 **Chapter Ten**

"How's Bella?" Charlie asked worriedly when Jacob finally emerged from his room.

"She's sleeping now." Jacob wished that he could ease the older man's worry. His eyes flicked to his father. Billy looked pensive. Sue must have already had a quiet word with him about how bad Bella's condition really was. Charlie couldn't be kept in the dark for much longer. But Jacob wouldn't say anything without the agreement of his father.

"I might go and sit with Bells for a while." Charlie smiled tiredly. "Thanks for looking out for her kid. Night, Billy." He called to his friend.

"Goodnight, Charlie." Billy watched his friend walk down the hall until he reached Jacob's room and disappeared inside. When the door closed he sighed heavily and rubbed a hand over his face. "I feel like a piece of shit right now."

"We have to tell him, dad." Jacob said quietly.

"I know." Billy met his son's concerned gaze. "I have so many regrets, Jake. My biggest one is keeping Charlie in the dark all these years. Things could have been so different if I had just been honest with him instead of adhering to ancient traditions and keeping my mouth shut. He's my oldest friend. I trust him with my life, so why didn't I trust him with the tribe's biggest secret."

Jacob knew all about regrets. "You did what you thought best at the time. None of us could have predicted it would turn out this way."

Billy's lined face was full of pride as he looked at his son. "I am so proud of you, Jake. The way you've handled things, the way you've helped Bella and Charlie. You've shown a maturity beyond your years."

A glimmer of a smile lit up Jacob's face. "Are you saying I've finally pulled my head out of my ass?" He teased in an attempt to lighten the tension.

Billy smiled too. "That's one way of putting it I suppose." His expression turned serious again. "Still, we need to move quickly. Before I say anything to Charlie I'd like Old Quil to see Bella. How do you feel about that? Sue said she had mentioned it to you."

"I don't know." Jacob frowned. He wasn't the elder's biggest fan. He had found some of Old Quil's past decisions a bit dubious. But young Quil always staunchly defended his grandfather.

"He's a good man, Jake." Billy insisted. "Even if the way he goes about things aren't always above board."

"That's a very polite way of putting it." Jacob glanced down the hall toward his room. It wasn't like they had any options anyway. Bella's health was failing and Jacob was willing to do anything to make her well again. "I'll talk to Bella about it first. I won't agree unless she's okay with it."

* * *

The next morning brought storm clouds and a few flakes of snow. The temperature had dropped overnight. Frost coated the ground and the tops of the trees. It was slippery underfoot. Jacob sneaked into his house by the back door. He had been patrolling for hours alongside his pack. It felt good to run with his brothers again. He had missed them. Whether Sam had Alpha ordered them or not, Jacob was thankful for their silent support. Even Leah and Paul, Bella's biggest detractors, kept their true thoughts to themselves. Jacob began to make himself a stack of toast for breakfast. All that running had made him famished. As he was buttering the sixth slice Billy rolled his chair into the kitchen alongside Charlie. Jacob noted how worn out Charlie looked. He bet Bella's father hadn't slept a wink but instead kept a silent vigil at his daughter's bedside.

"How's Bells?" He asked casually.

"Awake." Charlie smiled tiredly. "I thought I'd make her some coffee to go with her cereal."

"I'll do that." Jacob offered. "You make yourself comfortable." He looked at the stack of toast. "I made some for everyone." He lied. His stomach rumbled in protest as the two men grabbed some of the buttered slices. Jacob ignored his hunger and proceeded to pour a bowl of cornflakes, adding some cinnamon on top of it just the way Bella used to like it. He made some coffee and grabbed a tray. "I'll just take in to her."

"Thanks, kid." Charlie said gratefully.

* * *

Jacob paused outside the door to his room. He could hear Bella's shallow breathing coming from inside. It worried him that she was even struggling to draw breath. He nudged the door open with his elbow as he carried the tray inside. "Breakfast for the princess." He declared with a bright smile when he entered the room.

Bella raised her head and looked at him. Her eyes were bright, glistening. It was obvious that she had been crying. But upon seeing him she tried to match his big smile with one of her own. They were both pretending that everything was fine and ordinary; it was their only way of coping. "You didn't need to make me anything." Bella's stomach churned at the thought of eating the cereal.

"It's only cornflakes." Jacob winked at her playfully. "Even I can't manage to burn those."

Bella's smile faltered as she failed to recognise the inside joke. She had forgotten that Jacob was an infamously bad cook. She used to tease him constantly about the fact that he struggled to even boil an egg. "Oh." She didn't say anything but watched as he placed the tray across her lap. "Thank you very much."

"You're welcome." Jacob pulled up a chair and stretched out his long legs. "I added some cinnamon." He pointed out. "It's your favourite."

"I'm so lucky you know me so well." Bella smiled gratefully as she picked up the spoon. Her brown eyes met his and they gazed at each other for a long moment. She was the first to drop her eyes as she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Well here goes then." She raised the spoon to her lips and tentatively put the cornflakes in her mouth. They tasted awful and she tried not to gag. But underneath that she could taste the spice of the cinnamon. It exploded on her tongue and her eyes opened wide. "I can taste it." She said with her mouth full. "I can taste it."

Jacob could hear the delight in her voice. He grinned, sharing in her happiness as he watched her delve the spoon into the cornflakes and shove them in her mouth. She scrunched her nose up at the initial taste but then her expression smoothed out once the tang of the cinnamon kicked in. "That's a positive sign, Bells. Isn't it?" Jacob asked.

"Yes." Bella swallowed the cornflakes quickly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything." Jacob said eagerly.

"Can you get me more of that cinnamon stuff and add it to my coffee." Bella felt laughter bubbling in her throat at the disgusted expression on his face. He looked too funny. But this sudden burst of happiness rendered her unconscious. To Jacob's horror he saw Bella slump forward in a dead faint.

* * *

Bella felt groggy. She felt something warm touching her cheek. She finally managed to open her eyes and Jacob's handsome face swam into view. He looked distraught. He was cupping her cheek in his left hand. His other was on her shoulder, keeping her upright. Bella blinked a few times, feeling puzzled. "What happened?" She asked hoarsely.

"You blacked out." Jacob was very upset. He blamed himself. "I am so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Bella was confused.

"I should have been more careful. I was just so happy that you were happy and…"

"It's not your fault." Bella said faintly as she placed her hand over his. She didn't exactly know what he was blaming himself for; her memories of the last few minutes had been wiped. She didn't tell Jacob that though. Instead she tried to make light of the situation. She noticed a tray on the bedside cabinet. It was covered in a dark liquid. It smelled like coffee. Maybe she had spilled it. "Oops." She continued with a faint smile. "I'm so clumsy."

"Bells." Jacob was caught between wanting to laugh and cry. She looked so darn cute. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, honey."

He had called her honey. Bella found she liked that endearment. It slipped her mind that he had often used it in the past. She smiled at him innocently as he opened his eyes again and drew back so he could study her sweet face. "Are you okay?" He asked in concern.

Bella's skin broke out into a cold sweat. She felt the beads of perspiration coat her forehead. Her clothes clung to her. She felt mortified. She could tell that Jacob had noticed. "I think I might have a shower. Is that okay?" She asked politely.

"Of course." Jacob was still holding her cheek. Bella gently pushed his hand away. She noticed that the pads of his fingers were coated in her sweat. She felt even more embarrassed. She couldn't see the bright spots of red that coated her cheeks as the blood rushed to her face. But Jacob did. It brightened her wan complexion and returned her skin to its former creaminess. He could hear Bella's heart racing in her chest. He let go and watched in fascination as the rosiness in her cheeks dimmed. Jacob touched her again, almost at once her skin flooded with colour again. What was causing this strange phenomenon? It had to mean something.

Bella was totally unaware of any of this. She just continued to feel embarrassed and dirty. Why was he looking at her so oddly? He must think she was a freak. "I need to have a shower." She said thickly.

"Yeah…sorry." Jacob gave her a sheepish smile. He helped her to rise. She was very weak and unsteady on her legs. He put one arm around her and helped her to the bathroom. "Do you need any help?" He asked.

"No, I'm fine from here." Bella avoided his gaze as she slipped inside the bathroom. She paused before turning to face him again. "Thank you, Jacob." She smiled tentatively at him before carefully closing the door.

* * *

Jacob walked straight into the Uley's small cabin without knocking. It had always been the pack's unofficial headquarters. He smelt the familiar aroma of muffins. Emily was baking again. He found her in the kitchen. It was the biggest room of the house. A large table took centre stage. Embry and Paul were lounging at the table, both waiting for the next batch of muffins to come out of the oven. Jacob greeted Emily and took his place at the table.

"What gives?" Paul said to Jacob.

Jacob watched as Embry cuffed Paul around the back of his head. "You don't ask what gives, you ask how Bella is." He admonished him.

"At least I asked. What more do you want?" Paul rubbed the back of his head and glared at Embry.

Embry just smirked at Paul's whining. It faded as he faced his best friend. "Is Bella okay?" He asked sympathetically.

"She's coping." Jacob traced one finger on the worn wood of the Uley's table. "I came here looking for Quil."

"He left a few moments ago." Emily interjected as she laid a fresh batch of muffins in the middle of the table. She slapped Paul's hand with the back of a wooden spoon as he made a grab for one. "They're still hot." She chastised him.

"What is it rag on Paul day?" He complained, folding his arms across his chest and pouting like a little kid.

Emily just rolled her eyes. She turned her attention to Jacob. "I've put some muffins aside for Bella." She told him softly. "I thought she might like them. I'll put them in a plastic container so you can take them back with you."

"Thanks Em." Jacob gave her a tired smile.

"I also thought I might visit with her, if she feels up for some company." Emily suggested hopefully.

"I think she would like that." Jacob agreed. "Well I better hunt down Ateara." He said getting up.

"Paul can do that." Emily raised her eyebrows at Lahote. "Can't you?" She said meaningfully.

"What am I the pack's mule?" Paul complained.

"If the tag fits." Embry punched him in the shoulder. Paul scowled in annoyance.

"Oh go on, Paul." Emily said with a teasing smile. "There might be some extra muffins in it for you."

Paul's expression smoothed out as he smacked Embry around the back of the head in retaliation before hurrying from the cabin.

* * *

There was none of the usual playfulness about Quil as he walked beside his best friend. Quil had changed a lot in the last couple of years. His controversial imprint with Claire had matured him. He was much more serious now. "My grandfather wants to help." He said to Jacob.

"Sue already asked him." Jacob guessed.

"Yes, she came around last night. Seeing Bella like that really affected her." Quil saw a flicker of anguish cross Jacob's face before he hid it again just as quickly. Quil felt sorry for his friend. He and Embry had borne the brunt of Jacob's despair when Bella had married Edward Cullen and supposedly left for good to become one of them. His friend had taken a long time to recover and get back to a good place emotionally. But now Bella had returned and was causing a different kind of problem. Quil felt sympathy for Bella's plight but he was saddened on his friend's behalf because he could see the effect it was having on Jacob.

"She's bad Quil." Jacob kicked at a stone on the ground. He couldn't look his friend in the eye. "She has already been through so much."

"So have you." Quil reminded him.

"That doesn't matter anymore." Jacob finally raised his head and met Quil's eyes. He dropped his mask and finally allowed his best friend to see the depths of his despair.

"You can trust my grandfather, Jake." Quil said earnestly. "Let him help."

Jacob didn't know why but he needed to hear reassurance from someone close to the old man. He couldn't doubt the sincerity in Quil's voice. "Okay then. If Bells agrees let's do this."

* * *

Bella was scared. She didn't know who Jacob was talking about. She sat on the porch swing with him. She was wrapped in a thick blanket. It covered her head. Her nose was red from the cold. Charlie had been ambivalent about his sick daughter going outside into the cold, but Bella was tired of being cooped up indoors. She wanted to breathe in some fresh air. Charlie had finally caved in after she promised to wrap up warmly.

"You remember Quil's grandfather. He was always at the bonfire meetings." Jacob reminded her.

"He was." Bella tried to picture this elusive old man in her mind but she just couldn't remember. She was getting increasingly frustrated at the gaps in her memory. She was frightened.

"Yes." Jacob had his arm across the back of the porch swing. He absently played with the ends of her silky hair. "Old Quil is one of the few members of the tribe who was alive during the time of the previous pack." He revealed.

Bella was intrigued despite her fears. "Exactly how old is he?"

"No one knows." Jacob shrugged. "But he is very knowledgeable and he wants to help."

"Help how?" Bella didn't think she could endure anymore scrutiny.

"I'm not sure." Jacob admitted. He sat forward making the porch swing sway. He looked at Bella earnestly. "It's worth a try isn't it Bells?" His dark eyes roamed her wan face.

"If you think it's a good idea, then okay. I trust you." Bella agreed eventually. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

* * *

The Cullen's mansion loomed large in the darkness. Sam and Jared could just make out the faded white walls of the large, graceful building. It was rectangular and well proportioned. The southern wall was made entirely of glass. The tall panes reflected the surrounding forest. In the distance the two wolves could make out the sound of the Calawah river. They had been watching the place for hours. Sam wanted the Cullen's old residence under twenty four hour watch. Carlisle Cullen had hinted that they were going to follow Jacob and Bella back to Forks and he wanted to know as soon as they returned.

"This whole place gives me the creeps." Jared pretended to shudder.

Sam shared Jared's uneasiness. His keen eyes scanned the immediate area. There was no sign of movement. Even the wildlife seemed subdued. He had hoped never to have to spend time around this place ever again. Once the Cullens had left after the infamous wedding, Sam would never have expected that only eighteen months later he would be spying on the old mansion again. He tried to hide his resentment but Jared picked up on it.

"You wish she had never come back." Jared said through the pack mind link.

"It's irrelevant what I think." Sam replied bitterly.

"But you resent Jacob for getting involved with her shit again." Jared continued. "You're not the only one who feels like that."

"Well she's here so we have to deal." Sam strained his eyes and ears for any sign of movement.

"Do we?" Jared pressed. "I mean she married the thing. It was her choice."

Sam turned his head to look at his beta. The brown wolf gazed back at him, meeting his Alpha's penetrating stare with his own. "Whatever reservations you have, bury them." Sam ordered. "Bella is on our lands. She is human still which mean she needs protecting just like everyone else."

"Is she though?" Jared wouldn't be silenced. He knew he was pushing it but he was determined to press his point. "From what you and Jake shared she could be something else altogether."

Sam emitted a low rumbling growl. "I have seen Bella with my own two eyes. She is still human."

"For now." Jared muttered under his breath until Sam silenced him once and for all with an Alpha command.

* * *

Charlie and Billy were playing cards at the kitchen table. Bella was asleep in Jacob's room while he was dozing on the couch. Billy was doing his best to try and distract his friend but it was becoming increasingly difficult. Charlie was talking about filing a complaint against the Cullens and getting restraining orders put in place to keep Edward away from Bella. As if that would make any difference! Billy knew the time was drawing near when he had would have to tell his oldest friend the truth. But he was afraid. He could already picture the look of betrayal on Charlie's face and worried that this could kill their friendship forever. Billy didn't know how he would cope if Charlie cut all ties with him because of his lies. How could he even begin to explain? He sighed and dealt another hand. Old Quil was coming to see Bella in the morning, Billy hoped with all his heart that the elder could help Charlie's daughter.

"You alright, Billy?" Charlie asked.

"I'm fine." Billy smiled wearily.

"You seem distracted." Charlie looked at his friend keenly.

"This is my poker face." Billy joked lamely.

Charlie just rolled his eyes as he picked another card and added it to his others. He sighed as he studied his cards. He was definitely on a losing streak.

* * *

It was midnight. Sam and Jared were still watching the mansion. It was snowing now. The winds had died down but there was a chill in the air. The flakes began to blanket the ground turning everything white. If the atmosphere wasn't so tense then the view would be beautiful. Sam knew that Jared was still pissed because he had cut off their conversation. He didn't need Cameron to fuel his own doubts. He was the leader. He had to remain focused and in control.

"Sam, look." Jared's urgent voice pierced his thoughts.

Sam rose on his hind legs as he heard the sound of crunching gravel. A sleek black Mercedes swept down the driveway its lights highlighting the imposing building up ahead. Sam tensed as he exchanged a knowing look with Jared. Moments later the car pulled up and the lights were turned off. Everything went dark, but with their keen eyesight the wolves could clearly see the three shadowy figures emerging from the Mercedes.

"They're back." Sam felt sick to the pit of his stomach. Despite his best efforts it was starting all over again. "We need to warn Jacob." He said to Jared as he stealthily led his pack brother away from the vamp's lair, making a concerted effort not to leave any trace of their presence behind them.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!**_

 **Chapter Eleven**

Sam didn't tell Jacob until the next morning. He thought it best to use Old Quil's visit as a distraction before he relayed the information. He knew how much Jacob hated the Cullen clan, they all loathed them, but Jacob's hatred was much greater for personal reasons. Sam had pulled the wolves back from the outer territories. They were now on full alert and patrolling the reservation's borders.

"You should have told Jake straight away." Emily said worriedly when Sam told her what he had witnessed the night before. Unlike Sam she thought Jacob had matured enough to handle the situation.

"I don't need him kicking off." Sam replied testily. He sighed when he saw Emily lower her eyes at his harsh tone. He touched her scarred face, his eyes full of guilt. "I'm sorry. I feel under so much pressure right now."

Emily gazed up at him from under her long lashes. "I understand." She put her hand over his in silent support. "This is a difficult situation."

Sam frowned. "I hoped when Bella left the first time that it was finally all over. The leeches were gone and we could all live a normal life."

Emily smiled sadly. "Our lives were never normal, Sam." She dropped her hand back to her side and stepped away from him. "Just be honest with Jacob. Confide in him about your fears. He can handle it." Emily stood on her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on his mouth before she walked away.

* * *

"I'm nervous." Bella admitted to Jacob. Old Quil was due to arrive at any moment. She didn't know what to expect. Her anxieties caused cold sweat to break out on her skin. Twice that morning she had been forced to shower. This was her second change of clothes. Her emotions were threatening to overwhelm her.

"It's going to be fine." Jacob assured her. "There is nothing to be worried about." He smiled as he stroked her hair tenderly. "This could be the breakthrough we need."

"You really think he can help me." Bella was disbelieving. She was touched that Jacob had so much faith in the elder, but she didn't hold out any hope that the old man would be able to cure what was ailing her. She felt wretched for having so many doubts.

"It's another option to explore." Jacob continued to stroke her lustrous hair. It smelt fresh, like strawberries. He was feeling more positive after Bella actually managed to eat a full breakfast. After the revelation the previous day about the cinnamon he had coated all her food with it. Like before the cinnamon had tingled her taste buds.

"Okay." Bella was still shaking with nerves. Billy and Charlie had gone out to get some supplies. Jacob's father had used shopping as an excuse to get Charlie out of the house while Old Quil was there. Charlie had been worried about leaving his daughter but Jacob had promised he would stay with her during his absence while Charlie drove Billy into town.

"That's my Bells." Jacob caught her hand and lifted it to his lips. He kissed her fingertips. He watched Bella's skin flush as the blood rushed to her face. He loved seeing it and knowing that it was his touch that was the cause. Just for that few seconds it made Bella seem like her old self. The colour drained away again and her skin resumed its former translucency.

"You will be staying with me, won't you?" Bella checked for the hundredth time. Jacob kissed her fingertips again and it felt like a thousand butterflies took off in her stomach. She could feel her face getting hot, but she couldn't see what he saw.

"I'll be right here." Jacob promised.

* * *

Old Quil didn't come to the house alone, Sam was with him. Jacob wasn't happy about his Alpha's sudden intrusion or the fact that the elder insisted that he wanted to see Bella alone.

"That is not going to happen."

Sam frowned at the way Jacob spoke to Old Quil. He glanced at the elder. Old Quil didn't seem upset about it. For his age the old man cut a sprightly figure. He wore a baseball cap atop a pair of dark glasses. His long hair, which had long ago turned a silvery grey, was tied neatly at the nape of his neck. He pushed his cap up higher and scratched his forehead.

"It will make it easier if I can talk to Bella alone." Old Quil said congenially. "Anyway Sam has something important to tell you."

"What?" Jacob turned to glare at his Alpha.

"We'll discuss it outside." Sam jerked his head toward the door.

"Tell me here. I am not leaving Bella." Jacob insisted.

Old Quil chuckled. "Stubborn…. just like all the men in your family."

Jacob didn't know what the old man found so funny. He scowled. "Wait here a moment while I go and get Bella." He said abruptly as he strode out of the room.

* * *

Bella knew as soon as she laid eyes on Old Quil. She didn't understand how she knew, but she couldn't deny what was in front of her eyes. She felt her heart beginning to race in her chest. She knew the old man could hear it. A half smile formed on his face as soon as it happened. He was smiling at her like a kindly grandfather as he held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Bella _. Again_." Old Quil greeted her warmly. Bella stared at him, hesitating before she dared to place her fingers in his warm grip. They shook hands firmly. "I hope you don't mind but young Jacob is going to leave us alone to talk. He has a meeting of his own." He turned his attention to Jacob who was beginning to protest. "That is alright with you, isn't it my dear."

The old man was expecting her to speak. Bella couldn't tear her eyes away from him. She gulped, trying to understand what her baser instincts were telling her. Why hadn't Jacob mentioned it? She eventually forced her eyes away from the elder and looked at Jacob. He appeared perplexed, even Sam seemed bemused. It finally clicked in Bella's brain that they couldn't see it like she could. In their eyes Old Quil was just an old man, a respected elder of their tribe. They saw him as he portrayed himself to be. She didn't know what to think. Why would the old man hide what he truly was? Or was there a possibility that she was going mad.

"Bells, I can stay." Jacob broke the tense silence.

"Um…no." Bella's gaze flicked back to the old man who was still smiling benevolently at her. "I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" Jacob checked, still hesitating.

"I'm certain." Bella assured him. And she was. She wasn't nervous anymore. Old Quil didn't invoke fear or panic. There was something reassuring about his presence. He was ancient, far more so then Sam, Jacob or probably even Billy knew. "You should go to your meeting."

Jacob wasn't entirely convinced but Bella seemed insistent, which was odd considering her nerves only an hour earlier. He heard Sam call his name impatiently. "I'll be nearby." He promised Bella before he reluctantly followed Sam out of the house.

* * *

"Take a seat my dear." Old Quil pulled out a chair for himself at the kitchen table.

Bella took a seat across from him. She pulled her knees up and hugged them to her chest. It was silly but it was her way of creating a barrier between them. "How old are you?" She asked boldly. "Jacob told me that you were one of the few members of the tribe who was alive during the time of the previous pack."

The elder gave Bella an amused smile. "I was."

"So that makes you…."

"Ancient." Old Quil chuckled. He removed his baseball cap and took his dark glasses off. Bella gasped as she caught and held his penetrating gaze. She was looking into the eyes of a young man. "You see me Bella Swan." His voice had changed. It was deeper, stronger.

Bella could feel his power. It surrounded her like a thick cloak. It was ancient, mystical and held the wisdom of the ages. She continued to stare into Old Quil's eyes, becoming lost in the dark pools. She felt light headed as if her soul was suddenly too heavy for her corporeal body. Bella heard Old Quil continue to speak. His voice seemed far away, as if travelling a great distance. Her eyes began to close and she lost all contact with this world. Her soul was shifting, moving out of this world and into another plane of existence.

"Open your eyes, Bella." The voice was deep, commanding.

There was no way she could refuse. Bella opened her eyes and gasped in wonder. She was in another world, beautiful, primal, and raw. She sat atop a high cliff. She could hear the sounds of the sea as it crashed against the bottom of the cliff. The sky above was a beautiful azure blue. Seabirds wheeled in the air, cawing, sailing close and dipping their wings as if in respect to the man kneeling in front of her. This wasn't Old Quil. This man was the spirit who had been residing in his body. He was beautiful, a warrior, fierce and strong. He was young and old, ageless. His hair was long and black. It fell around his face, smooth, shimmering like a black mirror. His tan skin glistened in the bright sunlight. His full lips were curved upwards as if in amusement.

"You were the first." Bella whispered in awe.

"Yes." The man agreed. "I was the first spirit warrior. I am immortal. I can travel from the spiritual realm and visit the corporeal world as long as I can find a convenient host."

"Old Quil." Bella murmured. She looked at the warrior sharply. "Does he know?"

"Old Quil died a long time ago from a broken heart after his son passed away too early in an accident. My soul entered his body when his left for the next world. My tribe needed me and I answered the call."

Bella didn't know what to think. Was she dreaming? It could be a hallucination but something inside told her that it was all too real. She returned her attention to the warrior. "I knew who you were as soon as I saw you. But Jacob and Sam couldn't see you like I could. Why?"

"I will continue to hide until they are ready to see." The warrior replied.

"But that doesn't explain why I can see you." Bella persisted. She felt a lump lodge in her throat. "If this is the spiritual realm than that means that I followed you. I left my body."

A flicker of sadness glowed in the warrior's eyes. "You are hovering between worlds right now, child. Your soul is in flux."

Bella's mouth wobbled as she absorbed what he was saying. Fear gripped her fragile heart. "Am I going to die?"

The warrior continued to look at her gravely. "Yes."

A sob tore from her throat. She wasn't ready to go. She couldn't fail to see the irony of it all. Once she had been willing to sacrifice her life so she could become immortal. "I'm not ready to go." Bella raised her eyes to his pleadingly. "Can you help me?"

The warrior raised his eyes to the heavens above. He held up his hands to the sky as if in prayer. Bella felt her own gaze drawn upwards. "You will die, child. But you will be reborn." His voice grew stronger, more powerful with each syllable he spoke. A glowing light surrounded his body. It was so bright that it made Bella's eyes sting.

"Who are you?" Bella cried as she held up her hand to shield her eyes from the intense light.

"I am the first. I will be the last." The warrior's voice echoed off the cliffs. "I am Taha Aki, the great wolf." His dark eyes, full of ancient wisdom, met Bella's one last time. The light around him began to dim. "I am here to protect my people. And you…you my child will save us all."

* * *

"They were here last night and you are only telling me this now." Jacob roared at Sam. His fists clenched as he began to pace like a mad man. He was so fucking angry. He wanted to phase and race to the leech's lair and set the damn crypt alight. Treaty or no treaty, the Cullens had revoked it as soon as they laid one finger on Bella. They all needed to burn.

"This is why." Sam retorted. "I knew you would kick off."

"Are you for real?" Jacob got in Sam's face. He was so enraged he wanted to punch his Alpha. "Of course I'm going to kick off."

"Yes, then you go and do something reckless and we all pay the price for it." Sam snapped bitterly.

"What does that mean?" Jacob snarled.

"It means that you never think." Sam shoved Jacob away to create some space between them. "You let your heart rule your head. You have to be rational. You need to think before you act."

"Bullshit." Jacob interjected angrily. "You go too far the other way. You overthink everything. You adhere to an ancient treaty that should have been nullified as soon as the Cullens entered that high school. They shouldn't ever have been allowed to mix with any humans. The fucking treaty was made so that the cold ones stayed away from all humans. But the Cullens flouted that as soon as they moved back here. Bella would have never crossed paths with them if we had run the bastards out of town in the beginning. You say that I'm rash and make bad choices but you are just as bad. You procrastinate until things spiral out of control."

Sam's body began to vibrate. It was very rare that he got so worked up that he started to lose control. The last time had been when he had accidentally phased and hurt his beloved imprint. Since then he had practised iron hard control. He kept his emotions locked down behind a stoical mask. It was his way of coping. He was the leader, even if he was never destined to be. Jacob could be passionate; he could let his emotions rule his head. He and the others had the freedom to do that, but not Sam, never Sam. The buck stopped with him every time. It was alright for Jacob to turn his back on his destiny but it meant that he had to fulfil the role. He would never admit it out loud but he resented Jacob for being able to have a choice.

"I am not going to argue this point with you, Jacob." Sam said thickly. "My orders stand. We keep to our side of the treaty line until we know more." He phased before Jacob could respond and disappeared into the surrounding forest.

* * *

"Go to sleep, my child." Old Quil touched Bella's head lightly with his fingers. Her eyes began to droop. Slowly they closed until she fell into a deep sleep, her chin resting on her chest. Old Quil studied her for a long moment. "You won't remember any of this but you have to stay strong for everyone's sake. You have a hard fight ahead of you, but you will not be alone. I will see you on the other side."

The elder sighed heavily as he retrieved his baseball cap and sunglasses. He could hear Sam and Jacob arguing outside. The pack was fracturing. Old Quil could feel the power play shifting between the two wolves. It was time to give Jacob a nudge in the right direction. The old man looked at Bella again. Her hair had fallen across her face. Her breathing was shallow, ragged. It wouldn't be long now. The transition was almost complete. Time was running out. Jacob needed to embrace his destiny if he was going to be able to cope with his biggest test yet. If he didn't it could be the death of him. Old Quil's face became drawn as he glanced at Bella one final time. It could be the death of them both.

* * *

Jacob was pacing up and down outside trying to cool off when the elder finally emerged from the house. As soon as he caught sight of Old Quil, his anger at Sam vanished as his thoughts were once again consumed with Bella. The sun reflected in Old Quil's dark glasses as he walked down the porch steps and met Jacob who was running toward him.

"Bella is sleeping." The elder said before Jacob could say anything.

"What happened?" Jacob begged. "Is she okay? Can you help?"

Old Quil paused as he gazed at the desperate young man. He wondered if this was how he had looked when he had lost his last wife. Her death would be forever burned in his memory. He had stayed beside her broken body for three days straight, keeping guard over her, pleading in his mind to the ancient spirits to bring her back to him. But they hadn't granted his request. His third wife, his soul mate, had fulfilled her destiny. She had cut her own arm, letting the blood pool from the vicious wound in order to distract the cold one so he could finish it off. She had sacrificed herself for him, for the tribe. But he would forever feel bitter about her loss. It had driven him to seek sanctuary in the spiritual realm. He had vowed never again to walk the corporeal world. He went into mourning for centuries, searching the planes for her spirit, but he had never found her. In his despair he had once again descended to the real world, needing to feel his spirit enfolded in flesh and blood, to feel a heart beating in his chest. His tribe needed him, so he had answered the call. He had observed the current pack in all its forms. He had watched this young man shirk his destiny. He put his love for his soul mate above everything else. Old Quil both despised and admired him for choosing love above duty. Would his wife have survived if he had put her first?

"All we can do is watch and wait." Old Quil said eventually.

"That's it." Jacob was incredulous. "That is all you have to say."

"That is all any of us can do. The truth will be revealed to us in time." Old Quil stated cryptically.

Jacob shook his head in disbelief. Disappointment flooded through him. He had allowed himself to get his hopes up, thinking that some ancient magic would revive Bella and she would be well again. If he couldn't rely on that to save her then he would try another way. He needed to get his hands on Carlisle's research. He needed to know exactly what he had been drugging Bella with, why he had been pumping venom into her body mixed with his blood. What was he trying to achieve. There had to be a method to his madness. Carlisle was doing all this for a cure. A cure for what?

Old Quil could see the thoughts racing through the young shifter's mind. He was so determined to save his love by any means possible. Bella was both his strength and his weakness. This was a blessing and a curse. "If you want to be in control, then take control." The elder declared suddenly breaking through Jacob's thoughts. "Strength lies in leadership, in teamwork. You cannot achieve everything alone." He had caught Jacob's attention and planted the seed inside the young shifter's mind. Jacob Black needed to embrace his destiny if he wanted to be strong. He had to learn to sacrifice those he loved most in order to keep their people safe from harm, just like he had.

But the elder was troubled. Was this right? Had sacrificing his soul mate really saved them all? Had her death been worth it? Here they were, centuries later, and his ancestor was facing the same insurmountable dilemma. Do you sacrifice the one to save the many? Or do you save the one in order to gain the strength to save them all.

Jacob noticed Old Quil's brooding expression. He wondered what was running through the elder's mind. It almost seemed like regret. Something about the old man was different. Jacob stared and stared as he tried to understand what his subconscious was trying to show him.

Old Quil finally roused himself. He stood taller and cleared his throat. "I have done as much as I can." The elder said huskily. "We will talk again soon, Jacob Black."

Jacob watched as the elder climbed into his car and drove away. Something was nagging at him. He ground his teeth together as he tried to contain his frustration. What wasn't he seeing? He didn't have time to ponder any further as inside the house Bella began to scream.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!**_

 **Chapter Twelve**

Jacob ran into the house, his heart racing at one hundred miles an hour. Bella's screams tore at his soul. She sounded so distressed. He entered the house, skidding down the hall as his fast momentum propelled him forward. He found her sitting on the floor, her hands clasping her face as she tried to stem the flow of blood. _She was bleeding?_ Jacob dropped to his knees in front of her.

"Bells, it's me."

Bella raised her head, her eyes wide with fear. Now Jacob could see where the blood was coming from. It was streaming from her nose. He knew that Bella hated the sight and smell of blood. It used to freak her out and often she would faint. Ironic since she became involved with a bloodsucking leech. Jacob pushed this thought aside as he cupped Bella's chin in his hand and tried to calm her down.

"Listen to me, Bells. I just want you to lean forward a little bit, okay." Jacob eased her forward. "Now breathe through your mouth." He instructed her. Bella's cries faded as she began to recover from her hysterics. She breathed raggedly through her mouth. Jacob guided her hand toward her nose. "Now I want you to pinch the bridge of your nose for a few minutes just like this." Gently he unfurled Bella's fingers and placed them on her nose. She was still breathing heavily but the wildness in her eyes had gone. "That's my girl." Jacob praised her. "Now I'm just going to go and get some wipes so we can clean you up, okay."

Jacob hurriedly left Bella and began to rummage through the kitchen cupboards. Because of Billy's diabetes, one thing they always had was a fully stocked first aid kit. Jacob found it and returned to Bella's side. He knelt down and gently caressed her cheek. The usual reaction happened when his fingers connected with her skin. The blood rushed to her face and the translucency faded to be replaced with a more normal skin texture. "You can let go of your nose now, Bells. It should have stopped bleeding now."

Bella sucked in a deep breath before she released her nose. The bloody nostrils were still weeping a little bit but not with the same intensity. Jacob kept talking to Bella, doing his best to distract her as he carefully cleaned her up with the antiseptic wipes. "There you go, all better now." He said when he was finished.

"I..I'm sorry, J…Jacob." Bella stammered.

"Why are you apologising?" Jacob asked curiously. She had done that once before, years ago, after she had hit her head falling off the motorbike. It hadn't occurred to him why at the time but now he suddenly realised what she was saying sorry for. Fucking leeches he thought bitterly. He didn't say anything, but gently put his arms around Bella and lifted her up against his chest. She was as light as a feather. He carried her over to the old couch and made her comfortable. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"No…" Bella shook her head and then changed her mind. She could still feel the metallic tang of the blood in her mouth. "Actually yes…can you make me some coffee and put some cinnamon in it."

"Eww…." Jacob pulled a disgusted face, earning himself a faint smile from Bella. "Just for you, okay. Don't go telling anyone else or it might become a thing."

"I promise." Bella said weakly. She rested her head back against the cushions and closed her eyes.

* * *

When Quil returned home after his patrol shift had finished he found his grandfather meditating. He didn't want to disturb the old man so he crept by him silently. But the elder seemed to sense him. Old Quil's eyes opened and he looked directly at his grandson. His face was troubled. Whatever solace he had been seeking from the spiritual realm hadn't worked.

"Are you okay, grandfather?" Quil asked in concern.

"No." The old man rose to his feet. Quil was forever surprised at how flexible the old man was. His grandfather could still sit cross legged on the floor and never had trouble rising after sitting in the same position for hours. His limbs were very supple for his age.

"What's wrong?" Quil looked at his grandfather carefully. He hoped the old man wasn't sickening for something.

The elder's face was still deeply troubled. He began to pace back and forth. "I have always been of the belief that we must never interfere, that we have to embrace our destiny and let fate take its course. No matter how fraught or difficult it may be."

Quil frowned, perplexed. He had no idea what the old man was talking about. "Aren't we supposed to be in charge of our own fate?"

Old Quil's keen eyes darted to his grandson's. "You more than anyone know that sometimes we have no choice."

The young shifter felt a lump lodge in his throat. His grandfather was referring to his imprint with Claire. It had taken Quil a long time to accept the way his life had turned out. Right now Claire was a little sister to him. One day when she was of age, she was supposed to be more. But Quil couldn't envision that yet. A huge part of him hoped that Claire would forever just need him in her life as a brother and friend. If that was the case then he would be free to pursue a relationship of his own. But this was years into the future.

"Isn't there always a way around things?" Quil questioned hopefully. "What seems like its set in stone can actually be altered if we find another way."

"Your grandfather would be proud of the man you have become." Old Quil put his hand on Quil's shoulder and looked at him with pride.

"But you're my grandfather." Quil pointed out uneasily. It wasn't the first time the old man had slipped up like that. He began to wonder if his grandfather was getting forgetful in his old age.

"Of course." Old Quil patted his grandson's shoulder and smiled apologetically. "I think I may pay Jacob and Bella another visit."

"Why?" Quil was completely confused. "I thought you said you couldn't help."

"Like you said there is always a way around things. I have led my life following the natural order of things, but I'm beginning to think I may have been wrong." Old Quil replied cryptically. He said no more as he left, leaving young Quil to ponder what he could mean.

* * *

Bella felt weak and drained. She came out of the shower, a towel wrapped around her body. Her long hair was done up in another towel. She wobbled over to the sink and looked in the small mirror. Her complexion was ghostly. The dark bruises under her eyes were more prominent than ever. She looked wan and sickly. Bella turned away from her reflection. She couldn't bear to see herself anymore. Her symptoms were worsening. She had never had a nosebleed before. The cold sweats had died down. Whatever drugs Carlisle and Edward had put into her system had worked their way out, but they had left her sicker than before.

There was a light tap on the door. It was Charlie. He had and Billy had finally returned from their impromptu shopping trip. "Dinner's ready, kiddo." He called through the locked door.

"I'm coming." Bella said with effort. Her stomach churned at the thought of eating. But she would try for her dad's sake. Jacob was not at home. He was out patrolling with his brothers. He wouldn't be back until late. She was already missing his calming presence. He was once again her knight in shining armour and she missed him. Sighing, Bella began to dry herself off as got ready to join her father and Billy at the dinner table.

* * *

Her eyes were drooping before the meal was even finished. She was totally exhausted. When she swayed in her seat, Charlie was forced to catch her. "That's enough now, kiddo. You should be in bed." His face swam in and out of focus. Bella felt him lift her up easily and carry her to Jacob's room. Behind she heard the scrape of Billy's wheelchair on the wooden flooring as he followed behind. "If this carries on I am going to take her to the hospital." Charlie said to his friend.

Bella didn't hear Billy's response. Her head lolled on Charlie's shoulder as she fell into a deep sleep.

* * *

Bella didn't know how long she had been out. But when she awoke it was dark. The drapes had been drawn tight. She sat up in Jacob's bed, her hair falling around her face like a satin curtain. One glance at the clock told her that it was gone midnight. Bella wondered if Jacob had come back yet. She would have got up to look for him but that would mean passing her father who was sleeping in the lounge. Bella knelt on the bed and pulled back the curtains. As she breathed the window pane fogged up. The ground was still blanketed in thick snow. The sky was clear though and was sparkling with a thousand stars. Bella was too caught up in the view and didn't realise that someone else was in the room with her.

"It's a beautiful night, child."

Bella nearly fell off the bed in fright at the sound of the deep voice. She twisted around searching for the owner. Out of the shadows Old Quil emerged. Or was it really him. He was wearing the elder's face but underneath Bella fancied that she could see someone else. The old man was smiling in amusement. "How did you get in here?" She asked. Bella was surprised that she wasn't fearful of this guy. He was in her room, unannounced. Just like Edward used to be. This memory made her pause. "I feel like I'm getting worse." Why was she admitting this to the old man? She had only met him a few times. Their last meeting was already blurred in her mind.

"I think I was wrong, child." Old Quil seemed regretful. His amusement had vanished like a puff of smoke. "I was taught never to interfere. Not directly anyway, a nudge or two in the right direction of course. But that's all. Everyone has a preordained path. My last wife sacrificed herself for me, for our people. As much as it pained me to witness the horror of her death I had to accept that was her fate. She sacrificed herself for the greater good." His expression turned sad. "But when I returned to the spiritual realm in search of her I could never find her." The elder shook his head. "After our last meeting I have been meditating. I began to question everything that I believed was true." He raised his dark eyes to Bella's brown ones. "I prayed to the spirits but could find no comfort."

Bella remained silent as the old man rambled. Her head hurt, she was tiring already. There was something significant about Old Quil that she was supposed to remember, but it eluded her.

"I remember the utter despair and hopelessness at the loss of my soul mate. Truthfully I have never recovered from her loss and I hold a sense of anger toward the spirits that they continue to keep her from me." A flash of unaccustomed anger crossed the old man's face. "Your young man is different to how I was then. I was a lot older. I had already outlived two wives. My last, my darling was my true mate. But Jacob Black is young, impetuous. He fights against his destiny; he refuses to give in to his fate. I admire that. I do."

"Jake is strong." Bella whispered.

Old Quil rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "He is strong but he needs to be stronger." He paused as he scrutinised Bella carefully. "I have never interfered to this extent before, but something impels me to do so. But in order to help I need to understand more. I need to see exactly what happened from the moment you left for your honeymoon."

"But I can't remember." Bella said weakly. She was feeling afraid now.

"I can help you remember." Old Quil offered. "But it won't be an easy journey. It will mean reliving everything that happened to you."

"I'm afraid." Bella whimpered.

The elder's face turned solemn. "Fear can be our biggest weakness but also our greatest strength. You will not be alone, Bella Swan. I will be right there with you, observing, watching. I won't let you fall."

Bella's body trembled as she gazed into the old man's eyes. She trusted him just like she trusted Jacob. There was something similar between the two. She wished she could remember their last meeting. "I'm scared but I'll do it." She finally agreed.

Old Quil's face softened. "You are so much braver than you give yourself credit for, child." He held out his hands toward her. "Place your hands in mine."

Bella took a deep breath before complying. She hoped that her fear was going to be her greatest strength just like he had said because right now she felt as weak as a kitten. "I'm ready." She said tremulously.

Old Quil held her hands in his warm grip as he smiled. "Close your eyes, child."

Bella took another fortifying breath as she did as the old man asked. As soon as her eyelids shut she was flung back into the past.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews! Please be warned that there are some subjects touched upon that readers may find distressing!  
**_

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 _ **Eighteen months earlier:**_

Bella sat in the back of the luxurious black car. It was just another of the Cullens range of expensive vehicles. Carlisle had loaned it to Edward so he could transport Bella to their honeymoon destination in style. They had even hired a chauffeur to drive them to the airport. Even now Bella had no idea where she was going on her honeymoon. Edward was being very mysterious about it. She couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Her mind was still reeling from her confrontation with Jacob. Bella sat with her hands clasped in her lap to stop them shaking. Edward had told her to forget about Jacob Black, but as far as Bella was concerned it was impossible. He was her best friend, no he was more than that, he was a part of her. He was ingrained in her soul. Bella kept thinking of their parting. Her last sight of him had been Sam and his brothers dragging him away. Why had she said those things to him? Her words had been spiteful. Was she trying to prove a point? She had hurt him and for what?

Tears leaked out of Bella's eyes even as she tried to contain them. Edward was saying his last goodbyes to his family. Bella was hidden from their view by the darkened windows of the car. It was her last chance to be alone. Her silky blue going away dress felt too clingy on her skin. She was uncomfortable. She longed for her usual uniform of t-shirt and jeans. She tugged at the hem trying to pull it over her knees. Damn, why couldn't she stop crying? She should be happy. The whole ordeal of the wedding was over; she was going to leave for her honeymoon where she and Edward would finally be alone. Isn't that what she wanted? So why wasn't she happy?

It was obvious why. Jacob. It always came down to Jacob. Bella reached up and rubbed her forehead to try and expel the ache. She was edgy. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She wanted to speak to Jacob. She wanted to make things right. Where was her cell? Bella dug her fingers into the pocket of the dark blazer which covered her slim shoulders. She found the phone and pulled it out. It could only be a quick call. She just needed to hear his voice. She needed to tell him that she was sorry, for everything.

But Bella never got the chance. Edward chose that moment to climb into the back seat next to her. He shut the door sealing them inside. He saw the cell in her hand straight away. Bella immediately looked guilty, like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Edward quickly prised the cell phone out of her shaking fingers and stared at the screen showing Jacob's number. "Why?" He asked Bella stiffly. "Can't you just let him go? He could so easily have ruined our wedding day. You remember what he said to you."

"He's my best friend." Bella whispered. She hated seeing the pain in Edward's eyes.

Edward didn't respond right away. He switched the phone off and tucked it in the pocket of his suit jacket. "You need to put him out of your mind. You're never going to see him again, Bella."

It was hitting her now. This was it. This was the moment where she was going to give up everything to Edward, even her own life. Bella opened her mouth to say something but Edward had already signalled for the chauffer to pull away. The sleek black car began to edge down the gravel driveway. Bella could see Carlisle and Esme waving them off in a dignified manner. Rosalie had already gone back inside the mansion. She had always made her feelings clear. Only Alice ran after the car, waving madly while Jasper and Emmet looked on in amusement. Then they were gone.

* * *

Isle Esme was a tropical island off the coast of Rio de Janeiro. Bella was taken aback by the beauty of the place as well as the remoteness. Edward had finally revealed their destination as they boarded their private plane. The Island had been a gift from Carlisle to Esme. Edward described the vast beaches with white sparkling sand. Its warm waters held tropical fish. It was a paradise surrounded by vast jungles and even had its own indigenous population. "Esme furnished the house herself." Edward said proudly once they had landed and were on the last part of their journey. "You'll love it."

The house was indeed beautiful just like he had said. But to Bella it was a cold beauty. There was no warmth about the place. In fact it was decorated in the same style as the mansion in Forks. The house was huge, too large for such a small island. Large glass windows dominated most of the house; it had two spacious bedrooms, one decorated in white, the other a sultry blue. It had one large bathroom, a polished modern kitchen and a vast window overlooking the beach.

"This will be our room for the duration." Edward held her hands in his as he led her into the white bedroom. It was so light that it hurt Bella's eyes to look at it. It was too white. She was frightened she might soil the furnishings and spoil the perfection. Edward's eyes rested on the bed, they shone with promise of things to come.

It was at that moment that Bella felt her first sliver of regret.

* * *

Night was drawing in. Bella had unpacked her things. None of the clothes she had chosen were in the luggage. Instead Alice had replaced them all with her own choices. Bella's fingers shook as she held up the silky black negligee Alice had chosen for her honeymoon night. The material was gossamer thin and left little to the imagination. The time was drawing near. Bella perched on the edge of the bed with her knees drawn up to her chest. Edward was in the process of pouring her a glass of champagne. He was even going to indulge in a small glass himself to mark the occasion. Bella stared at his broad back; his white skin sparkled in the soft candlelight. He wasn't wearing a shirt just a pair of swimming shorts. Seeing him unclothed like this was unnerving. She wasn't used to it. Edward turned, holding two glasses in his hands and wearing a soft expression. He walked over to her casually and handed her a glass.

"To us." Edward toasted.

"To us." The glass wobbled in Bella's hand as she raised it to her lips.

Edward only took a dainty sip. He put the glass to one side and held out his hand toward Bella. "Let's go for a dip before…." His golden brown eyes travelled to the huge bed, leaving the rest unsaid.

Bella sucked in her lower lip as she placed her hand in his. His cold fingers curled around hers. "Edward, I need to tell you something." She confessed weakly.

What is it, my love?" Edward asked with a gentle smile.

"I've changed my mind." Bella whispered.

* * *

The scene changed abruptly. Bella was sitting in the bathroom battered and bruised with her back pressed against the locked door. Edward was on the other side with his palms resting on the hard wood, his head hanging forward in agony. The room was full of feathers. The huge ornate bed was snapped in half. The pillows had been ripped apart, their contents strewn across the floor.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward apologised over and over. "I am so, so sorry."

* * *

Days later Bella was ill. The only food that she could keep down was eggs. For some reason she craved them. The silent maid would bring them in for her on a tray, muttering under her breath in her strange language. Edward had been keeping his distance. Bella was glad of it. She didn't want him near her. The bruises flowering on her fragile skin had darkened to black. But Bella was barely aware of them. Her heart and soul were shattered; her mind was a vast wasteland of numbness. She deserved to be ill. It was just punishment for the choices she'd made.

* * *

The scene changed again, everything was black. In the distance Bella could hear Edward's voice frantically begging Carlisle to save her. He didn't care how but he had to keep her alive. "Get that thing out of her." He screamed.

Bella's eyelids slowly opened letting in light. Carlisle Cullen's face swam into focus. He was wearing a surgical mask. All Bella could see was his golden eyes narrowed in concentration. He suddenly seemed aware that Bella was conscious. His smooth brow furrowed. She saw him raise his gloved hand. He was holding a long needle between his fingers. Bella tried to open her mouth to form words, to scream in protest. What were they doing? She felt the prick of the needle and knew no more.

* * *

The next time Bella regained consciousness she was bathed in a cold sweat. She could hear voices. Groggily she tried to force her lids to open but they remained glued shut. Instead she tried to focus on the voices. They were hushed so it was difficult to hear. Bella wished she could move but her body just like her eyelids wouldn't budge.

"It's fascinating." Bella recognised Carlisle's voice.

"I don't care." That was Edward. Even though Bella couldn't open her eyes she could feel his cold touch as he caressed her face. She wanted to recoil away from him but her body stubbornly refused to comply.

"I know this is difficult for you." Carlisle's voice was clearer now. He must be standing right next to Edward. "But I've been studying the foetus. It has genetic malformations I've never come across before."

"I'm only interested in getting my wife well again." Edward spat angrily.

"I understand that." Carlisle replied. His tone was filled with empathy. Bella wanted to be sick. _Foetus? He had said foetus_. Carlisle continued to speak. Neither he nor Edward was aware of Bella's silent distress. "But this could be the key to making her well."

"It's poison got into her bloodstream. It's killing her. How could it possibly help?" Edward sounded close to hysteria. He touched her face over and over in his agitation. Bella wanted to scream at him to get away from her but she lay in state before him like a plastic mannequin.

"That was an unfortunate side effect of the extraction." Carlisle didn't sound empathetic now but excited. He spoke faster. "This has given me a unique opportunity to perform research that could actually make a difference to our kind. Bella was carrying a hybrid, who's DNA was made up of both human and vampire chromosomes."

"Carlisle…." Edward interjected in agony.

"Listen to me, Edward." Carlisle said hurriedly. "Bella is turning. Soon her body will be on fire. There isn't a lot of time left. Right now she gives me a unique opportunity to further my research into giving our kind the chance to procreate _. Think_ …I can give Esme what she has always desired, the ability to carry a child of her own. Think of Rosalie. Isn't having a child what she yearns for. And you and Bella, you could be a proper family…father, mother and one day child." Carlisle hammered the point home relentlessly. "That would mean she hadn't really given anything up after all. It would absolve your guilt about what happened."

Edward groaned as he continued to caress Bella's face with gentle fingers. All she could do was scream silently in her head as she listened to the horror story being played out in front of her.

"I have made so many breakthroughs already after experimenting on the foetus. I used shifter blood on it. The healing properties are a miracle unto themselves. I barely used a drop and the skin tissue began to regenerate. This coupled with the venom from the foetus and mixed with yours could be the answer to Bella's malady now. I could heal her, Edward. I just need to find the right dosage. Don't you see, Bella could be whole again, but stronger, much stronger." Carlisle wheedled. "And she would be strong enough to carry the next pregnancy to full term and _live._ "

Edward collapsed by Bella's bedside. She felt him pressing his cold forehead onto hers. It was frightening having him so close. Her body was paralysed. She was a puppet in their hands. "Oh, my love." Edward moaned. He caressed her face again. "I want to make it up to you, so much. I know this isn't what you wanted, but Carlisle could give us the next best thing." His mentor's words had infected his mind and he already found himself agreeing. "She hates me, Carlisle. If she was conscious Bella would never condone this." He continued in anguish.

"She won't remember." Carlisle assured him quietly. "I have the perfect drug to suppress her memories. It's a powerful antidepressant. Its use was banned back in the 1960's because of the potent side effects, one of them being memory loss among other things."

Edward didn't even question what he meant by other things. Already he was building a new dream life in his head, the one where his wife loved him and they were surrounded by a family of their own making. "Can it really work?" He asked in a voice tinged with hope.

"I know it can." Carlisle said earnestly. "Trust me."

* * *

Bella was emotionally battered. Her mind couldn't cope with the revelations she was reliving. It was horrific, worse than she could ever have imagined. She was in so much distress that Old Quil broke the connection with her. He knew her fragile psyche couldn't handle anymore. Bella was almost catatonic. Old Quil, his face full of sorrow, guided the broken young girl back to the bed. Bella curled up onto her side away from him. The elder felt tears wet his face. What this poor child had suffered was evil beyond comprehension. For her sake he had to make her forget again. Right know she was too weak, both emotionally and physically, to handle what had happened to her. Old Quil knelt down beside the bed and began to chant softly. The fingers of his left hand began to emit a faint light. He placed them on Bella's forehead and he felt the tension ooze out of her body at his touch.

"Find rest, my child. When you awaken it will be as if I had never been here."

* * *

"What the fuck are we waiting for, Sam?" Jacob demanded. They had been keeping a silent vigil on the Cullen mansion for hours now. The vamps had stubbornly remained inside. Only the lights glowing through the large windows showed that there was anyone inside. Jacob still couldn't believe Carlisle and Edward's audacity. He wanted to storm down there and set the whole place alight.

"Like that would solve anything." Sam warned him.

"I know that." Jacob retorted harshly through the pack mind link. "I know that the key to finding out how to help Bella lies in that sick bastard's cold hands."

"At last you are thinking with your head and not just your heart." Sam sounded weary. "We have to play the long game."

"No, I disagree." Jacob growled. "Staking out Frankenstein's lair isn't getting us anywhere. I need to get inside the place and search for that memory stick. There had to be something on it that he was trying to hide or else why go to so much trouble to get it and the notebook back."

"And how do you intend to do that without being discovered." Sam replied irritably. He was having difficulty hiding his resentment at the whole situation.

"I'm thinking." Jacob muttered. "But right now I'm heading back home to check on Bella." He stood up on all four legs and shook his thick fur so that it ruffled out around him. It felt good to stretch his legs after being still for so long. Dawn was breaking over the horizon. It was time to go.

Sam began to wonder who the real leader was between them. This wasn't the first time Jacob had made a decision in the last couple of days and expected him to follow. But Sam was longing to get back to his imprint. He had been away from Emily for too long. "Just don't do anything rash." He said to Jacob as he followed after the russet wolf.

But his caution was in vain. Jacob wasn't even listening.

* * *

Quil had never seen his grandfather so disturbed. The old man had been meditating for hours but whatever he was seeking to gain from his communion with the spirits had no effect. When Old Quil emerged from his room he was more agitated than ever.

"Is there anything I can do, grandfather?" Quil asked worriedly.

Old Quil gazed at the tall young man he had raised as his own. He had come to love Quil like a son. This boy deserved the whole world just like all the others. They had all survived the last traumatic chain of events barely unscathed, but this was a whole different scenario. The elder couldn't live with what he had seen in Bella's memories. What Carlisle was doing was evil beyond comprehension. He was highly intelligent, manipulative and cruel but hid it behind a polished veneer. He was a highly respected physician, good looking and charming. He had used all these attributes to manipulate Ephraim and the last wolf pack into making the treaty.

"I am sorry, my boy." Old Quil put his hand on Quil's shoulder and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Why are you sorry?" Quil questioned in confusion. The old man was definitely losing it.

"For more than I can ever say." Old Quil dropped his hand back to his side. "I have to go."

"Where?"

"There is someone I have to see." Old Quil gazed at his adopted grandson for a long time as if burning his image into this memory. Then picking up his baseball cap and dark glasses he left the house with a mumbled goodbye.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story!**_

 **Chapter Fourteen**

"Are you okay, honey?" Jacob asked as he sat down on the bed next to Bella. She was looking really peaky despite Charlie and Billy saying she had slept all night without interruption. Bella didn't look rested at all.

"I just feel really tired this morning." She confessed. She rested her head against Jacob's shoulder as he shifted further on the bed and put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry I was gone so long." Jacob apologised. He played with the fingers of her left hand.

"You were out keeping me safe….again." Bella said with a ghost of a smile.

"It's what I do." Jacob assured her. "Don't worry about me. We just need to concentrate on getting you better."

Bella dropped her eyes to their joined hands. Jacob sounded so certain that she was somehow magically going to get better. He wouldn't consider the thought that this was it for her. That she had used up her nine lives. Look how many times she had come close to dying. The first had been Tyler's truck careering into her. The second had been those guys in Port Angeles with bad intentions. There was James, Victoria, the newborn battle. The list went on and on. Edward used to say she attracted trouble; he became obsessed with keeping her safe. But all these things had happened right here, in Forks. When she was living in Phoenix she'd had the odd accident or two but nothing like the catastrophe her life had become since returning to live with Charlie. It was all down to the supernatural. She wasn't meant to live in this world.

It was something Bella had been thinking about a lot lately. She had always thought that imprinting was a bad thing. It took away a person's choice. But now she wasn't so sure. You had to be a special type of person to live this life; you had to possess certain attributes like Emily and Kim. They completed Sam and Jared and gave them the unconditional support they needed to survive. But what had she ever brought Jacob, trouble that's what. She had been a burden then and she was a burden now. It was the reason she hadn't contacted him for help and called her dad instead. She hadn't wanted to drag him down again.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Jacob asked as he watched the play of emotions cross her pretty face.

Bella raised her eyes to his. They were full of guilt. There was nothing like facing your mortality to force you to question everything you had done and to accept the harm you had caused. She knew that her selfish choices had caused a lot of pain to good people. The same people who were again risking their lives on her behalf. But the person she had hurt most of all was Jacob. Despite her past actions he was still her staunchest supporter. He saw something in her that was worth saving. Bella would be eternally grateful for that. She took his hand in both of hers and then placed his fingers over her heart. It beat sluggishly in her chest. All the time she saw him watching her with a curious expression, wondering what was going on in her head.

"I am so sorry, Jacob." Bella apologised with all the sincerity she could muster. She felt so damn tired. It was like her life was draining away bit by bit and that every second that passed took another piece with it.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Jacob replied earnestly.

"No, that's not true." Bella protested weakly. She kept her hand over his, pressing his fingers into her cold skin. "I have caused so much hurt and pain to so many people. You included." She gazed into his dark eyes as tears began to well in hers. "I am so ashamed of everything I've done, but I am so grateful that despite it all you still care about me."

Jacob felt a lump lodge in his throat. He raised his free hand and cupped her cheek. He watched as the blood flooded to her face, turning her cheeks rosy and reducing the translucency of her skin. She looked so beautiful in that moment but so fragile. His emotions were getting the better of him and he found it difficult to speak.

"I don't think you ever understood how much I love you, Bells." Jacob said thickly. He dipped his head breaking their intense stare as he tried to search for the right words to express himself.

"Jake…."

"No, let me talk now." Jacob raised his head again and met her glistening eyes. This time he allowed her to see the depths of his feelings for her. He had held back and kept them hidden since her return. He knew how much she was suffering and didn't want her put under any additional pressure. But something had shifted. Bella's heartfelt apology was like a balm to his soul. It soothed the hurt from her constant rejections in the past. They were beyond that now. This was a different life. They were different people. Jacob didn't want to hide how he felt anymore. "I promised you once that I would fight for you." He continued.

Bella's lips trembled as the memory came back to her for once with surprising clarity. She saw him as he had been then, lying on this same bed, badly injured, still doing his best to comfort her even as she bid him a painful goodbye. "I said until my heart stops beating." She whispered.

"Yeah." Jacob caressed her cheek with his thumb. The colour flooded to her skin wherever he touched it. "And I told you…maybe even then." A sad smile crossed his handsome face. "I meant it, Bells. I'll always love you. Even you if you were one of them I'd still love you…and if you needed me I would be there for you."

Bella gasped at the enormity of what he was confessing. Even if she had turned he would still choose to love her, he would sacrifice everything he believed in to be there for her if she needed him. He was offering his heart and soul to her _, still_. "My Jacob." Bella let the tears fall. She shifted awkwardly as she rose onto her knees. He was still holding her cheek. Bella smiled softly, reaching out to grab his shirt so she could tug him closer. His eyes never left hers the whole time. "I don't deserve you." She faltered. "I'll always need you…but most of all I love you."

Then she kissed him.

* * *

This was different from any other kisses they had shared. It lacked the intensity and desperation of the one they had shared on the mountain, it was much gentler, softer. It was a promise of better things to come. To Jacob it meant everything. This was Bella choosing to kiss him. Above everything, even after all the verbal apologies, nothing showed Jacob how much she really loved him than this. He cradled the back of her head as they continued to kiss, Bella was still kneeling in front of him, her hands resting on his shoulders as she leaned into his body. The taste of her, the feel of her mouth moving with his, Jacob was consumed with her. He became lost in the moment as his heart soared with hope mixed with happiness. He didn't want this feeling to stop.

But like everything in life all good things come to an end.

* * *

There was a gentle knock on the door. Jacob groaned as Bella jerked away from him. She fell back against the pillows, her body trembling with her exertions. The rosiness faded from her face as the blood drained away. Jacob sighed heavily, reluctantly getting up from the bed to open the door. He found Charlie waiting on the other side, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans and looking uncomfortable. Jacob wondered if the chief had guessed what had just happened between him and Bella. Normally Charlie would have knocked and walked straight in. This time he had hovered outside.

"Sorry to bother you, kid. Um…Old Quil's here. He wants to talk to you." Charlie smiled sheepishly. "I'll go and sit with Bells while you're gone." He patted Jacob on the shoulder as he passed.

Jacob frowned, wondering why the elder was back again. He hadn't been able to help before. Unless he had actually come up with something new. Before he left Jacob turned to look at Bella one last time. Her eyes were bright, lambent as she gazed back at him. She smiled shyly, giving him a slight wave. Charlie looked between them astutely. He scratched his chin, giving them both a knowing look as he watched Jacob leave the room.

* * *

"Let's go for a drive." Old Quil said without waiting for a response. He led the way out of the house.

Jacob followed behind, wondering where the elder was going to take him. "Where are we going?" He asked reluctantly as he climbed into Old Quil's truck.

"You'll see." The elder replied cryptically. He started the engine and pulled away down the dirt track. He then turned onto the road leading out of La Push. It wasn't until they were halfway to Forks that he spoke again. "I need your help, Jacob."

"With what?" Jacob asked dubiously. Quil had mentioned that he was worried about his grandfather. The elder had been acting oddly the past few days. Quil thought that his grandfather's age was finally catching up with him. This only made Jacob feel more wary.

Old Quil seemed to sense Jacob's ambivalence. He looked at him keenly before returning his attention to the road. They were now past Fork's small high street and following the main road right out of town. The forest encroached on either side of the road, the tall trees standing guard like silent sentinels. "This isn't my way. I have never interfered before. This is a new feeling for me."

Jacob had no idea what the old man was wittering on about. He was regretting coming along for the ride. "Interfering in what exactly?" He questioned the elder in concern.

"This body is weak." Old Quil continued as he glanced down at his slender frame. He then looked at Jacob again, taking in his broad shoulders and muscular physique. His expression was admiring. This made Jacob feel even more uncomfortable. "I was built like you once." The elder continued, chuckling.

Jacob frowned. In all the old photographs he had seen of Old Quil as a young man none of them showed him built like a bodybuilder. He had always leaned to the thin side. This conversation was confusing and Jacob began to believe that Quil was right to be worried about his grandfather.

The elder could read Jacob easily. He knew his young ancestor was questioning his sanity. Old Quil couldn't blame him. But after bonding with Bella and seeing her memories and watching how she had suffered. He knew he couldn't sit back anymore and let fate take its course. Carlisle Cullen had overstepped the mark. He was pure evil. It was time he was dealt with. But the elder knew he couldn't confront the coven leader in this weak old body. No, he needed a stronger one, one that contained the wolf. Jacob was his direct descendent. He was strong, both mentally and physically. His wolf was the strongest and biggest in the pack.

Jacob was unaware of the old man's thoughts. Old Quil had turned down a narrow lane. Jacob knew where this was heading. The Cullens mansion wasn't too far away. "Why are you taking us here?" He demanded.

The elder didn't answer right away. He drove down the lane for a few miles before he pulled the truck into the midst of a grove of trees. He switched the engine off. The resounding silence was deafening. It was now or never. Old Quil climbed out of the truck, knowing that Jacob would follow. He walked over to the tallest tree and stood beneath it. Jacob approached him slowly, his face wary. "I told you that I needed your help." Old Quil said again.

"Help with what?" Jacob glanced around the grove of trees as if expecting an ambush.

"I have never taken over a body while the soul still resides inside. It is forbidden. But these are desperate times and I have already broken with tradition." The elder began to circle Jacob, who was staring at him like he had gone mad. "I am sorry to do this to you but once we are joined you will see and understand everything."

"You're crazy." Jacob's nostrils flared as he stepped away from the old man. "Let me drive you back home." He offered as he tried to change tack and get the elder to show some rationality. "You're not well."

"I can assure you I am perfectly well." Old Quil replied grimly. He was in front of Jacob now. "Don't fight me, Jacob." The elder's voice began to deepen. Jacob stared at him, too stunned to move. He could finally sense the power lying beneath the elder's weak body. "You know who I am, Jacob." Old Quil intoned as he finally showed his true face. A faint glow began to emanate from the old man's body. He raised his eyes and hands in the air. "I AM TAHA AKI." His deep baritone boomed amongst the trees. "I AM THE FIRST, I WILL BE THE LAST." His tone softened as he dropped his gaze from the heavens and looked directly into Jacob's eyes. "And you my son are going to help me."

* * *

Jacob reverently slid Old Quil's lifeless body along the bench seat of the truck. The elder's skin was still warm but wouldn't remain so for long. He only had a short window of time before Old Quil's body began to deteriorate and would no longer be able to be used as a host. He shut the truck's door and locked it. Jacob looked around, revelling in the feel of his young body. He flexed his arms and began to limber up as if training for a fight. Yes, he could feel the adrenaline flowing through his veins. His muscles rippled under his tan skin as he bobbed and weaved against an invisible opponent. After a moment he became still and closed his eyes. He began to commune with his wolf, asking its permission to inhabit its body for a short time. The russet wolf submitted to its master, baying with excitement at the prospect of the fight ahead. Jacob's eyes opened again, they were dark, and the irises almost coal black. A faint yellow tinge circled the edges. Jacob and Taha Aki were of one mind.

It was time….

* * *

Jacob didn't hide. He strode right out into the open, demanding that Carlisle Cullen come out into the light. The huge mansion loomed in front of him as his bare feet made no sound on the gravel driveway. The tall panes of glass reflected his image hundreds of times as he approached. His anger was simmering at a low boil as he demanded for Carlisle to come out and face him. The vamp doctor was taking his time, showing himself up for the coward that he was.

"JUST YOU AND ME." Jacob roared. "GET OUT HERE."

A tense moment passed before there were signs of movement. The front door opened and three figures emerged. The sun was high in the sky. It was noon. The lead figure, his blonde hair ruffling in the wind, walked slowly down the steps leading to the drive. His golden brown eyes were hard, unforgiving. A scowl marred his handsome features. There was no sign of the charming doctor that so enthralled others. Edward Cullen and Esme hovered in the doorway. Carlisle had already ordered them to keep their distance. Although this was hard for Edward as he laid eyes on his hated rival.

"You are breaking the treaty, Jacob Black." Carlisle snarled as he stopped beneath the shadow of the tall mansion.

"STEP OUT INTO THE LIGHT, COWARD." Jacob commanded defiantly. "OR ARE YOU AFRAID YOU WILL BURN IN THE SUN?"

"You have no right to come here making demands. You are on shaky ground. You kidnapped my son's sick wife and we came back here to claim her." Carlisle retorted.

Jacob ignored Carlisle's posturing. His hands curled into fists and his eyes narrowed. "COME OUT INTO THE LIGHT BLOODSUCKER BEFORE YOU FORCE ME TO DRAG YOU OUT."

Carlisle licked his lips furtively. He glanced behind at his mate and adopted son. Esme was whimpering. She had a hand over her mouth. Edward rested his hand on Esme's shoulder, his keen gaze drinking everything in. He was trying to read Jacob's mind but he couldn't penetrate his thoughts. He didn't understand how Jacob was doing it. Something was off here. This wasn't the insolent young pup he remembered.

Jacob was sick of waiting. He darted forward, moving so fast that his body was blurred. He caught hold of Carlisle by the roots of his thick blonde hair and began to drag him forward. Carlisle snarled, grappling with Jacob's arm as he tried to stop him from pulling him out of the protection of the mansion's shadows. "You will regret this." He cursed. "I will make you pay."

Instead of coming to help his mentor Edward stayed rooted in place. His eyes flicked between Jacob and Carlisle. His adopted father didn't sound like himself. He was acting totally out of character. He kept his hand clamped on Esme's shoulder, stopping her from running to help her mate. Why was Carlisle so afraid to go out into the direct sun? There were no witnesses to be afraid of.

Jacob used all his physical and mental strength to haul Carlisle Cullen out into the centre of the driveway. The sun beamed down on them both, highlighting Jacob's smooth tan skin and making Carlisle's sparkle. The myriad diamonds shimmered on his face as Jacob forced the coven leader onto his knees with the strength borne of two spirit warriors. He tangled his fingers in Carlisle's hair and yanked his head back, exposing the vamp doctor's face to his scrutinising gaze.

It was then that he faltered. Jacob's arm shook as he stared down into the demon's eyes. A demon he recognised as the sun showed him what was hidden within. "Impossible." He whispered hoarsely.

Carlisle's lips drew back over his poisonous teeth as a vicious laugh bubbled in his throat. "You see me now, do you?"

"Utlapa." Jacob said in disbelief as he felt the power of his old enemy's soul vibrate underneath Carlisle Cullen's hardened skin. "You were dead. Banished forever and forbidden to take refuge in another human host."

Carlisle laughed maniacally. "You always were so tied to the old traditions and so set on the natural path. Back then it was to prove your undoing and will be so again." He suddenly rose to his feet, his cold fingers digging into Jacob's hot skin. "I am not inside a human host. This carcass died centuries ago, only the soul resides. But Carlisle Cullen was a weak fool. He believes in peace and tranquillity. He's a saviour, a healer. It was easy to take control of him. It meant that I still retained all his medical knowledge. I had access to things I would never have believed, allowing me to do things I could only ever dream of." His eyes hardened. "I knew you had come back, but you were well hidden in the human host you had chosen. We never crossed paths until now."

Jacob was losing control. Utlapa was gaining strength with each passing second. They grappled, both snarling, cursing until Utlapa/Carlisle managed to escape Jacob's hold on him. "It seems you've decided to break the rules yourself, old friend." He sneered. "It will make my vengeance all the sweeter."

"Why?" Jacob roared, his breathing ragged. "What do you hope to gain?"

"You mean the great Taha Aki hasn't figured it out yet?" Utlapa laughed again. "You've been searching for her spirit for years. She was right there, buried deep inside her. Two souls sharing one body, but there isn't enough room for two is there, Taha. Eventually one must win and one must die. Which one?" He taunted. "Bella Swan or Cassiopeia, your soul mate. Your third wife." His eyes sparked with mischief as he watched Jacob/Taha Aki stagger. "Yes, he's fighting you now isn't he, old friend. Your young ancestor will do anything to save the woman he loves, but then so will you. One soul lives to be reborn the other soul shrivels away and dies forever. The pendulum is swinging, Taha."

Jacob's body staggered back and fell as Jacob's soul fought with Taha Aki's for dominance. Bella was dying and he had to go and save her. He was no longer in tune with his ancient ancestor. He could feel Taha Aki's rage at his old enemy and his longing to save his soul mate, who was residing deep inside Bella, using her as a human host to hide from Utlapa. One would die and be gone forever and Jacob was damn sure it wouldn't be Bella.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading! Confused! I'm not surprised, LOL ;) Read up about Utlapa on Twilight Saga Wiki if you need more info on who he was. Who will win this battle of the souls? Jacob or Taha, Bella or Cassiopeia (Taha Aki's third wife-I made up the name). What of Utlapa who is residing in Carlisle Cullen's body. Is the good doctor still inside? What will Edward do or Esme? Eeek….so many questions my dear readers. Until next time…**_


	15. Chapter 15

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for following this story.**_

 **Chapter Fifteen**

It was a battle for Bella's life and Jacob was determined to win. He didn't care that Taha Aki was his ancestor or that he was essentially fighting for the same thing, to rescue his great love, Cassiopeia. The old warrior was centuries old. He'd had his time. He should never have come back to the corporeal world. Jacob's mind was melded with Taha Aki's. He knew everything about him, he could see his past and he could see what he wanted for his future. It was all mingled together with Jacob's own wants and needs. Jacob was angry. This was his body, his mind, his soul. Taha Aki's leaving the spirit realm had essentially drawn his old enemy with him. Cassiopeia, forever hiding from the third wheel in this old love triangle, Utlapa, had been hiding on this plane, jumping from body to body. Jacob guessed that her soul had been residing in Esme Cullen for quite a while, and when Bella had come into the picture she had seen an opportunity to make her way back to La Push by using Bella as her tool. Just like Taha Aki had been searching for Cassiopeia, in turn she had been doing the same. But both had been looking in the wrong places.

While this internal battle was going on inside Jacob's body, Carlisle/Utlapa rose to his feet. Taha Aki had practically handed him the ability to destroy him and his young ancestor all at the same time. Utlapa was revelling in his victory. He allowed himself a moment to rejoice. He knew he someday he would get his vengeance. It was a triumphant moment and Utlapa wanted to savour every second of it. But he had forgotten one thing, Carlisle Cullen's family. Esme and Edward had seen and heard everything. While Utlapa was distracted they crept up on him together, determined to bring him down and wrench his soul out of their beloved. How they were going to achieve the last part they weren't sure, but they had to restrain Utlapa without damaging Carlisle's body. The good doctor's soul had to still be inside his hard body somewhere. They wouldn't let themselves believe that he had been vanquished forever.

It was a strain for Jacob. He was young; he didn't have Taha Aki's centuries of experience. He felt the ancient warrior's spirit wearing him down. "I won't let you." He screamed in his head. "I refuse. You will not control me."

" _This is not about control." Taha Aki roared. "I am all powerful. I was the first and I will be the last. You have never accepted your destiny. You have never been prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice. You are weak, Jacob Black. Weak."_

His ancestor's words only served to enrage Jacob further. He yelled his defiance at Taha Aki as he called upon his wolf. This was his body. This was his soul. This was his life and neither Taha Aki nor Utlapa were going to destroy the girl he loved because of their selfish wants. The large russet wolf appeared between Taha Aki and Jacob in their mind's eye. His fierce gaze was drawn first to one then the other. Taha Aki's will was strong. He commanded the wolf to submit to him. But the russet wolf wasn't so easily swayed. His dark eyes were drawn to Jacob. Man and wolf stared at each other as if in silent communication. No orders from Taha Aki could break through their bond. Jacob forced his body to phase. He joined with his wolf, inhabiting his strong, powerful body, and in doing so he flung Taha Aki's soul out and sent it spiralling to the four winds.

* * *

Utlapa never knew what hit him. In all the time he had been around Esme, pretending, acting as her husband, he had never seen such a fierce look on the woman's beautiful face. Gone was the compliant and devoted wife, instead he was confronted with an enraged she-devil. Esme grabbed his head and pushed his face into the stony gravel. He tried to grapple with her, but Edward had captured his arms in a vice like grip. He wrenched Utlapa/Carlisle's arms right up his back. If it had been a human, his bones would have snapped under the pressure. Utlapa cursed, writhing violently as he tried to escape, but his strength was no match for an enraged Esme.

"Get out of my husband's body." Esme screeched at him. "Get out. Carlisle I know you are in there. Fight him. You can do it. I know you can."

Jacob was in his wolf form. He towered over Esme and Edward as they kept Utlapa trapped on the ground. He watched Edward raise his head and their eyes met. Jacob growled, his dark eyes glowing with hatred. After sharing his mind and body with Taha Aki, he had been privy to what had happened between Edward and his Bella. Jacob was angry, enraged. He wanted to rip Edward apart for what he had put Bella through.

"I know that you want to kill me." Edward said to Jacob. His face was full of self hatred. "I deserve to die." He choked on his next words. "I love Bella with every fibre of my being. I was losing her….I lost control."

Jacob growled again. His jaw flexed and his claws dug deep into the earth as he braced himself. He had never hated anyone so much in his life. It was with difficulty that he restrained himself from attacking the bloodsucker. Right now his priority was Bella. "This is not over." He roared in his head to Edward.

But Edward didn't seem to be able to read his mind. He didn't react to this threat. Jacob pondered this for a moment. Esme was still cussing. She had raised Utalpa/Carlisle's head by his hair and was slapping him across the face. Jacob had never see Esme like this. It was like she had woken up from a spell or something. He noticed Edward's surprise at his adopted mother. Never mess with a woman scorned. Esme loved Carlisle and would do anything to get him back.

"Fight him, Carlisle." Esme punched her mate in the face. Then she grabbed the collar of his shirt and leaned forward so their noses were almost touching. Carlisle's eyes were almost bugging out of his head. Something was definitely going on in his hard body. Esme shook him violently. "If a wolf boy can get rid of an ancient spirit so can you. For once forget your principals and kick the intruder out on his ass." She screamed at her mate.

"Esme." Edward cautioned his adopted mother.

"SHUT UP, EDWARD." Esme yelled at him. She grabbed Carlisle's face between her hands and kissed him fiercely, hungrily. Both Jacob and Edward had to turn away at this fierce display of passion. "Come back to me." Esme moaned as she kissed Carlisle again and again. At first he tried to fight her off, but then it changed. His fingers tangled in her hair and he was kissing her back. Esme cried with relief. "Oh, Carlisle." She rained kisses all over his face as he tried to sit up.

"Hush now." Carlisle said soothingly.

Jacob turned his head to study the vamp leader. He was rising to his feet with Esme attached to his side like a limpet. Carlisle looked different. It wasn't just that the hardness in his eyes was gone, his expression had changed. He looked sad, sympathetic and deeply ashamed. He returned Jacob's intense stare without flinching. "I have expelled him. I can assure you." He said thickly.

Jacob remained silent as he continued to watch the vampires warily. Carlisle moved his penetrating gaze to Edward. His expression changed to one of bitter disappointment, mixed with disgust. Jacob saw Edward quail under his mentor's displeasure. "You sicken me." Carlisle snapped at him. "I have forgiven you for so much, but what you did to Bella on your wedding night. I will never forgive that."

"I lost control." Edward murmured helplessly. "She said she had changed her mind. I don't know what happened. It was just a split second. I…"

"There is nothing you can ever say to justify that." Carlisle roared at him.

"I love her." Edward mumbled as he hung his head. "I just wanted…."

"I don't care what you wanted." Carlisle spat. He tore his eyes away from Edward and looked at Jacob. "I cannot apologise enough for what trouble my family has wrought here." He sounded weary. "They are my weakness. Edward was my first son. I always hoped that somehow he would be able to fight his inner demons. When he met Bella he was so changed. I thought he had found his reason to make good on his past mistakes." He glanced at his mate. Esme was gazing at him sadly. "You were right, my darling. I allowed my principals to get in the way. They made me weak, unable to fight the wicked creature that inhabited my body…until you called upon me to fight." He dropped a kiss on top of her head.

"I have seen the extent of Utlapa's wicked plans. He knew that Cassiopeia had jumped from Esme's body into Bella's. He kept her drugged to stop her escaping. He did things to her that was wicked and evil." Carlisle shook his head, overcome by dismay.

Jacob let out a low rumbling growl. He was so angry. He wished he could expel the images of what had happened to Bella out of his head. His gaze was drawn to Edward who was hunched over, his body shaking with misery. Jacob just wanted to sink his teeth into the leech and make him pay.

Carlisle seemed to read his mind as he too looked at his adopted son. "I understand your anger, your pain. I share it. I am so deeply ashamed." The vampire leader met Jacob's fierce gaze again. "I brought him into this world. Please allow me to be the one who lets him leave it."

There was a sharp gasp from Edward. He raised his head, his stricken gaze finding Carlisle's. He knew exactly what his beloved mentor meant. "I love her so much. He got into my head. He made me believe that Bella would be able to carry my child, that we would be a family. He said he was curing Bella, that he was close to finding a way so that she could carry my child to full term without it harming her. He said he was doing it for Esme too, and for Rosalie."

"He was torturing Cassiopeia." Carlisle retorted. "Bella was just an irrelevance."

Jacob decided to phase back into his human form. He hated not being able to speak. He quickly snatched his shorts and pulled them on. He strode boldly over to Carlisle and glared at the coven leader. "You expect me to trust you." He snarled.

"You have no choice." Carlisle sighed sadly. "We are all facing a battle here, Jacob. A battle of the souls. Even now your ancestor and his arch enemy are fighting to return. You need to bring Bella here. She is a very sick young woman." His voice dropped lower when Edward let out a choked sob. He was finding it difficult to bear the burden of the atrocity that Edward had committed. "He won't be here when you return with her."

"You could all just take off." Jacob narrowed his eyes.

"Call upon your pack, Jacob. They will make sure that doesn't happen." Carlisle ran his fingers through his thick blonde hair. "You need to hurry. Time is running out for Bella." He put his arm around Esme and pulled her close.

Jacob could see the tortured look on Carlisle's face. Despite his misgivings he believed the vamp doctor. His despair was palpable. "I will kill him myself if I return and see that he still exists."

Carlisle's expression turned bleak. "He will be gone." He said so quietly that Jacob had to strain his ears to hear him.

Jacob took one last look at Edward Cullen. His rival was still hunched over in a ball of misery. He wasn't long for this world and Jacob was glad of it. He couldn't even summon up any pity for Carlisle for what he was being forced to do. It was a long time coming. "I will call my brothers now." Jacob said gravely as he got ready to leave. Already his mind was focused on Bella. "I will be back."

With those parting words, Jacob left.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews. I really appreciate it. Nikki**_

 **Chapter Sixteen**

It had been ages since Jacob had left with Old Quil, Bella was getting worried. Charlie had sat with her for a while until Emily paid her an unexpected visit. Jacob had told Bella that Sam's imprint had asked to see her, but nothing had been arranged. She wasn't feeling that great or up for any company at all, but Bella felt obliged to see Emily, especially as she was offering the hand of friendship. Bella knew that her coming back to the reservation had caused friction between Jacob and Sam again and felt very guilty about that. If Emily was on side then it could help to repair the guy's fractured relationship.

"It's good to see you again, Bella." Emily sat on the chair next to the bed and took Bella's hand. She was having difficulty hiding her shock at how ill Bella really was. The girl looked on the point of collapse. "Are you okay?" She asked anxiously.

"I've been better." Bella tried to make light of it. Seeing Emily's horrified expression only compounded her despair at how bad she must look. "How are you?" She continued politely. As usual Emily was hiding her scarred cheek behind a swathe of hair.

"I've been good." Emily tried to smile but it faltered. Now she was here she was having trouble making conversation. She wished Jacob and Sam had made it clearer about how bad Bella really was. She felt awful for intruding. "Um…I brought you some of my muffins." She said desperate for something to say. Emily released Bella's hand and began to fumble with the plastic container she had brought with her. "Jake said you didn't have much of an appetite but you always seemed to love my muffins…so…" Emily's voice tailed off as she passed the plastic container to Bella.

Did she really expect her to eat these? Bella recoiled straight away. She couldn't help it. The muffins smelt awful. She couldn't imagine what they would taste like. But Bella didn't want to upset Emily, who was clearly feeling uncomfortable. She leaned forward and pretended to smell them. "Lovely."

Emily's face brightened. "That's good. Maybe you can eat one." She suggested hopefully.

"Yes." Bella said faintly. Her fingers shook as she picked up one of the smaller muffins and placed it near her lips. Emily was staring at her so Bella had no choice but to take a bite. She gulped, her eyes watering as the muffin touched her tongue. It was awful, it was so rank. Bella wanted to heave. But instead her nose began to bleed. The droplets of red blood splattered onto the back of her hand and she screamed in horror.

Emily was rooted in place, her hand flying to her mouth as she continued to stare at Bella in shock. The door to Jacob's bedroom was flung open and Charlie appeared. Billy was right behind him. Charlie assessed the situation within seconds. He ushered Emily out of the room so he could concentrate on Bella.

"It's alright, kiddo." Charlie cradled the back of Bella's head and gently pushed her forward. Billy passed him a clean handkerchief. Charlie dabbed at his daughter's face, trying to slow the stream of blood. Bella was hyperventilating with fear. "Easy now, Bells." Charlie soothed her. "Your old man will make this right. Just try and breathe, slowly."

Bella kept gulping in lungful's of air. Billy had been forced to leave the room to deal with Emily, who was having a meltdown of her own. Charlie kept talking to Bella like he would a wild animal. Slowly she began to calm down as the bleeding slowed. Charlie had removed the muffins and without their nauseating aroma Bella's sickness faded. "It's alright now, kiddo. It's alright."

"She's dying. Look at her." Emily's sobs came through the partially opened door. "She should be in a hospital."

"Be quiet." Billy scolded her.

Bella was shaking like a leaf. She gazed at her Charlie, stricken. "I'm scared, dad. I'm scared."

Charlie kicked the door closed in order to drown out Emily's cries. He pulled his daughter into his arms. "There is no need to be scared, Bells. I've got you. Alright, I'll keep you safe."

Moments later Bella slumped in his arms as her emotions became too much for her to handle and she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Quil was absolutely devastated. Once he had learned through the pack mind link that the man he had thought of his grandfather was not Old Quil at all, he fell apart. As soon as Jacob had left the Cullens residence he had phased. He had called a warning to his pack. Some were already patrolling like Jared and Leah; they were the first ones to learn the truth about Taha Aki and his old enemy Utlapa. The others slowly phased in, with Sam Uley being the last. He had held back, feeling resentful that Jacob was trying to assert his authority again. But once he realised the reason behind the sudden call to arms his resentment faded away.

"Where's my grandfather?" Quil cried in anguish.

Jacob felt his brother's pain. He wished he could go to his friend and offer his unconditional support but he had a desperate mission of his own. He needed to get to Bella. Instead he showed Quil where his grandfather's truck was parked. Old Quil's body should still be inside.

"I'll go with him to retrieve the body." Leah offered unexpectedly.

This was a surprise to Jacob. Quil and Leah Clearwater were not particularly close in that regard. But he understood when he felt the rush of sympathy from the she-wolf. It had only been a year or so since she had lost her own beloved father, Harry. Even though the circumstances were not the same, Old Quil had been like a father to young Quil after the loss of his own. Jacob was glad that his old friend would have some much needed support that he couldn't give him right now.

Sam was all business. Jacob had replayed everything that had happened to him including his conversation with Carlisle Cullen. Uley knew that hindering Jacob in his quest to save Bella would only cause heartache for all involved. It was time to offer his support and get over his resentment toward Jacob. This fight wasn't just about the vampires anymore, or Bella's past choices. Now it involved their own. Taha Aki and his old rivalry with Utlapa was the focus of this battle.

"Go and get Bella." Sam said to Jacob. It wasn't an order. It was a simple statement. "I'll take the others and we'll keep guard over the Cullen's. We'll make sure that Carlisle Cullen keeps his word."

"Thank you." Jacob said simply. He looked at each wolf in turn with dark eyes full of gratitude. No more needed to be said. The pack separated into three groups. Sam led one toward the Cullens mansion, while Quil and Leah went to find Old Quil's truck. Jacob was the only one who headed back to the reservation as he hurried home to fetch Bella.

* * *

It was a hysterical scene that greeted Jacob when he returned home. He could hear Emily's cries and frantic sobbing. Billy was trying to quieten her down. Jacob's heart rate ramped up as he realised something had happened to Bella in his absence. He burst into the house, nearly skidding down the narrow hall in his haste to get to his love. His sudden appearance had one good effect. It shut Emily up. Her cries lessened when she saw him sprint past her and into his room. Jacob found Charlie cradling Bella's limp body in his arms. Her head lolled on her father's shoulder, while Charlie stroked her thick hair back from her face. Bella's body was caked in a cold sweat.

"She passed out a few seconds ago." Charlie said in despair. "I can't delay anymore, Jake. I am going to take her to the hospital."

Jacob hunkered down next to Charlie. He tried to appear calm even though he felt far from it. He could smell the metallic aroma of the blood. His keen hearing caught Bella's heart rate spiking. It beat sluggishly in her chest. She was weakening. He hid his own rising panic and spoke to Charlie steadily.

"I'm going to get Bella some help."

"How?" Charlie clutched Bella closer.

"You have to trust me, Charlie." Jacob gazed at the older man earnestly, begging him silently to place his faith in him once again. This was a big ask. Charlie was dealing with things he didn't understand and had no knowledge of. He had been letting Jacob take the lead all along.

"Charlie, please." Billy added his pleas to his son's. "There is so much you don't understand." He took in a quavering breath. It was now or never. Jacob hadn't had time to fill his father in on the latest turn of events, but Billy knew it was time he told Charlie the whole truth.

Charlie was in an agony of indecision. He looked between Billy and his son. Bella felt so light and fragile in his arms. She was his only child. He had just gotten her back. His head was telling him to race her to hospital right now while his heart was telling him the opposite. "I can't lose her." He whispered hoarsely.

"I won't let that happen." Jacob vowed as he reached out and gently eased a comatose Bella out of Charlie's arms.

Charlie finally relinquished his hold. He watched with frightened eyes as Jacob cradled Bella against his chest and hurried out of the room. Billy rolled his chair further into the room and placed his hand over Charlie's. "Come on Chief, we need to talk." He said huskily.

* * *

The sweet fragrant smell of burning greeted Jacob as he approached the Cullen mansion cautiously. Even though he wasn't phased he could sense his brothers nearby. He was thankful for their solid presence because inside his heart was breaking. Jacob was being forced to place his faith in his arch enemies, again. He was second guessing himself at every turn. His promise to Charlie weighed heavily on his mind, as well his grief over Bella. He loved her so much. He couldn't lose her. Not now. He found Carlisle Cullen waiting for him on the grandiose steps leading up to the front entrance. The coven leader's face was grim. Jacob could guess why. His eyes travelled to the rising smoke coming from the back of the large property. He didn't comment on it. Edward Cullen was far from his mind as he greeted Carlisle curtly and carried Bella inside.

* * *

Esme Cullen was fluffing up some feather pillows she had laid on the opulent leather sofa which resided in the open plan lounge area. Like Carlisle her expression was downcast, her eyes heavy with sadness. She motioned for Jacob to lay Bella on the soft couch. He did so very carefully, and then knelt beside her, holding onto her hand.

"Can I offer you a drink?" Esme asked politely.

"No." Jacob scowled.

Carlisle saw his mate's face fall. He touched her cheek gently before gesturing for her to leave him and Jacob alone. Esme lowered her eyes and immediately complied. There was nothing more she could do here. Carlisle returned his attention to Jacob. "I have been going back through my… _his_ research." His jaw flexed as he spoke about it. "A lot of it is the ravings of a mad man."

"Did you have no comprehension of what you were doing to Bella?" Jacob demanded as he kept his gaze trained on her beautiful face. She was so deathly pale and still hadn't awoken from her latest collapse.

"No." Carlisle flinched. "I cannot describe what it was like to be possessed by him. He was so powerful. I couldn't…." He swallowed thickly as shame washed over him. "I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what transpired while he was in possession of me, or what he put Bella through. As for my…Edward…."

"Don't mention his name." Jacob growled hotly.

"Of course, I'm sorry." Carlisle apologised. He sat down on a vacant chair and sighed. "Did Bella ever tell you about her time in Italy? Or mention the Volturi."

"I said I didn't want to talk about fucking E…"

"This is relevant." Carlisle interrupted him.

Jacob's eyes darkened. Just thinking about the time Bella had abandoned him to go to Italy to save the bloodsucker's ass still hurt like an open wound. "She told me the gist of it." He muttered.

"They were lucky to escape at all. Aro, Caius and Marcus are not known for their mercy so to speak." Carlisle continued bitterly. "It was their past association with me that swayed Aro and persuaded him to allow Edward, Alice and Bella to leave unharmed."

"Not without the bastards trying to use their powers on Bella." Jacob snapped.

"But they didn't work on her." Carlisle sat forward in his chair as he tried to get his point across. "It took me a while to understand why this was the case but after some research I came to the conclusion that Bella is a shield. That is why Edward could never read her mind either."

"A shield." Jacob echoed him, confused.

"Yes, it gives Bella an inordinate amount of protection. As a human it can only do so much. As a vampire…." Carlisle left the rest unsaid.

Jacob kept his gaze focused on Bella. Her chest was rising and falling slowly as she breathed. He longed for her to wake up so he could see her eyes, so he could hear her voice. "What has this shield got to do with anything?" He said thickly.

"It's the reason Cassiopeia hasn't been able to control Bella like Utlapa did with me. Your ancestor, Taha Aki, inhabited a body whose soul had already left. No human body is able to withstand the strain of two souls residing within, not for as long as Bella has. Not only that but she has been forced to endure unspeakable experiments, damaging her already fragile health." Carlisle's handsome face was pained. He paused for a few seconds. "Utlapa was doping Bella with a strong opiate. It was to keep Cassiopeia from using Bella to flee. But what he failed to understand was that Bella was always in control of who she was, though with her failing health it was a struggle. I assumed her loss of memories would have been due to the opiate, but I think it was because Cassiopeia was using Bella's fragility to batter down her shields so she could take over."

"I always told Bells she was strong. She would never believe me." Jacob caressed Bella's face with gentle fingers. He was sickened by what he was hearing. It wasn't only vampires that had abused the girl he loved but his own ancestors had played their part. He took a deep shuddering breath before he looked at Carlisle. "How are you going to treat her?"

"I can't." Carlisle's voice was full of sorrow. "I cannot do anything until we get Cassiopeia to relinquish her hold on Bella's body. Whatever treatments I devise will be worthless while she continues to drain Bella's energy reserves."

Jacob's eyes narrowed. "I'll get her out." He snarled angrily.

"Bella is not you or I, Jacob." Carlisle cautioned him. "We are supernatural creatures, Bella is not. Despite the venom and shifter blood that has been pumped into her body, she is all human. None of it remains. Her immune system recognised it for what it was and expelled the poisonous mixture through the pores of her skin. I think that was as a result of James' venom acting much like a vaccine would. Bella's immune system recognised it as poison like the first time and it reacted straight away to get rid of it." Carlisle couldn't hide his fascination with the science behind what had happened to Bella. He saw Jacob's eyes darken again and he apologised profusely.

"Then how do we get Cassiopeia out."

"I don't know. Appeal to her perhaps." Carlisle had run out of suggestions.

"That really worked with Taha Aki." Jacob growled. "He turned it back on me."

"Cassiopeia may prove more reasonable now she knows that her lover is back in the spiritual realm." Carlisle pointed out.

Jacob was disbelieving. "I highly doubt that. For all I know he could have taken possession of someone else."

"Your ancestors are powerful indeed." Carlisle said in wonder. He looked at Jacob keenly. "Perhaps they have become too powerful." He mused.

Jacob scowled. He didn't like what Carlisle was inferring considering the family of gifted vampires he had created for himself. "Remind you of anyone." He accused.

Carlisle flinched. "I get your point." He agreed stiffly.

Bella was beginning to stir. She leaned into Jacob's touch. He watched the blood pool into her face. For a moment her skin returned to its former creaminess. Jacob noticed Carlisle studying the phenomenon with interest. "It does that all the time when I touch her." He told the vamp doctor.

"Intriguing." Carlisle agreed. His expression turned serious as he watched Bella's skin return to its former translucency. "There isn't much time, Jacob. We have to get Cassiopeia to leave Bella's body."

To their surprise a cat like smile crossed Bella's face. She yawned, her eyes fluttering open as she stretched. She looked between Carlisle and Jacob as laughter bubbled in her throat. "It's a bit late for that." The voice that came out of Bella's mouth had a more sultry tone. "I won't be leaving anytime soon." She struggled to rise, her brow furrowing as her weak body refused to obey. "Your girl finally gave up the fight. This is my body now." She looked directly at Jacob. "I have already sacrificed myself and for what. I'm owed this life. It won't be long before Taha Aki comes back and claims me. You're too late, Jacob Black. This is our time to live."

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading!**_


	17. Chapter 17

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-thank you for the kind reviews everyone!**_

 **Chapter Seventeen**

Bella could feel her soul being suppressed. There wasn't another way to describe it. The last thing she remembered was trying to eat Emily's muffin, then her nose started to bleed. Her ensuing panic had overloaded her emotions and she had sunk into unconsciousness. But now she was awake but couldn't control her body. She could feel her mouth moving. She could hear a voice, but it wasn't hers. The words being spoken were not her words. But Bella could hear every one of them.

" _It's a bit late for that. Your girl finally gave up the fight. This is my body now. I have already sacrificed myself and for what. I'm owed this life. It won't be long before Taha Aki comes back and claims me. You're too late Jacob Black. This is our time to live."_

Bella's mind was filled with confusion. Who was this woman speaking with her voice and inhabiting her body and threatening Jacob? She was talking about Taha Aki. At the mention of his name fuzzy memories stirred in her brain. She had been through so much over the intervening months; she was so exhausted and weary of being ill. Bella began to drift. She felt like she was floating. The woman was still speaking, but she could no longer hear what was being said. It was like she was shrinking, getting smaller and smaller, more insignificant with each passing second. Bella's soul departed her body and she died.

* * *

"Open your eyes Bella." The voice was deep, commanding.

There was no way she could refuse. Bella opened her eyes and gasped. She recognised this place. She was in the spiritual realm. It was beautiful, primal and raw. She was sitting atop a high cliff. Down below she could hear the sea crashing violently against the rocks. The sky above was a beautiful azure blue. Seabirds wheeled in the air. They cawed harshly as they circled around and around. They seem disturbed. The more Bella looked the more distorted the scene became. It was like there was a crack in it that could only be detected if you really concentrated hard. There was a man kneeling in front of her. He was in shadow. Bella couldn't see his face no matter how hard she tried.

"Who are you?" Bella asked hoarsely.

The shadowy figure laughed throatily. "I am Utlapa."

Bella didn't recognise the name. She gazed around in dismay. The sky was darkening now. The crack was widening. The sea birds became more restless. More panicked. "What is this place?" She begged.

"Hell…if you believe in such things. It is a mirror of what was and a shadow of what could be again." The man replied cryptically.

"What are you talking about?" Bella twisted her hands in her lap. She longed for Jacob. She yearned to feel his strong arms around her, to feel the security of his sturdy presence. He always chased the demons away. But now she was alone in the dark, with this usurper her only guide.

The shadowy figure laughed again. "I have to admire your tenacity, Bella Swan. You still fight even though you have already lost. Cassiopeia has shown her true intent. She was never going to return to the spiritual realm. She has grown bitter over the intervening years as she hid in one corporeal form after another searching for her true love." His tone was full of sarcasm. "She wants to live again, to finish the life that she should have had with Taha Aki now that he is within reach."

Vague memories of a noble warrior resurfaced in Bella's subconscious. He was kneeling in front of her; he was beautiful, fierce and strong. He was young and old, ageless. His hair was long and black and fell around his face, smooth, shimmering in the bright sunlight. This was Taha Aki, Jacob's ancient ancestor. "He was the first." Bella quoted verbatim. "He will be the last."

"Your memories are coming back to you." Utlapa's shadowy figure mused aloud. "Good, good." He continued. "Taha isn't wrong. He will definitely be the last of his line. To reunite permanently with his great love, Cassiopeia, he needs a permanent body of his own…someone young, powerful. I wonder who that could be." He laughed as if in amusement at his own joke.

"Jacob." Bella whispered in despair. She felt panic welling up inside. This Utlapa was her torturer. It was all coming back to her now. He was the evil one who had taken over Carlisle's body and used his medical knowledge to keep her drugged, and abused her in order to make sure Cassiopeia couldn't escape. Bella strained her eyes as she tried to pierce the darkness and look upon Utlapa's face. "You are a monster. Why would I believe a word you say? Taha Aki is a noble warrior. I met him. I remember it all."

"Taha Aki is a desperate man." Utlapa hissed. "You call me evil but he is succumbing to it. He has resided in the old man's body for too long. He has experienced life again and with it comes all the same selfish desires and wants that every human is prone to." His shadowy figure darted forward. Bella still couldn't see him, but she fancied she could feel his rancid breath as he whispered in her ear. "He inhabited your lover's body. It was only for a short time but it reminded Taha of what he used to be."

Bella scooted backwards in disgust. "Jacob is strong. He would never allow that to happen."

"Jacob is at his weakest. You are his Achilles heel. Right now he is grieving for his lost love. He thinks you are dead and lost to him forever. He doesn't realise that Taha Aki is close. When I was expelled from Carlisle Cullen's body Taha took my place." Utlapa sneered.

The seagulls wheeled above. They began to fly lower and lower. The sky was darkening with every second. The sea crashed against the side of the tall cliff, rising higher and getting wilder. A strong breeze lifted Bella's hair and sent it whirling around her head. "You are a liar." She screamed at Utlapa. "What can you possibly gain by helping me?"

The seabirds were morphing into something else. Bella shrank back in fear as two black vultures sailed down, their claws extended as if ready to snatch her and throw her into the roiling sea below. But they weren't aiming for her. Utlapa rose to his feet. The vultures hovered above him until they finally landed on his wide shoulders, looking like two black sentinels. She was still on her knees, she made the mistake of glancing up and to her horror she finally saw Utlapa's true face.

"My battle with Taha Aki is still not over. I cannot return to the corporeal world for the next one hundred years. But you can send Taha Aki here. This is where he belongs." Utlapa roared. "Return and reclaim your body and be reborn. Return Cassiopeia to the spiritual realm and Taha Aki will follow. You want to save your lover, you want to save his tribe then you must fulfil your mission. Taha Aki is a powerful spirit warrior. You lose and he will take your lover's body and become the most powerful shifter that ever lived, but he has already been corrupted. You think I am evil but imagine the consequences if Taha Aki remains in your world and lives for an eternity."

Bella quailed under Utlapa's ferocity. She wished she could rid her mind of the image of his face forever but she knew it would be burned in her memory. The wind was turning into a hurricane. She could hardly see. Utlapa's form was shimmering. The two black vultures took off, their huge black wings beating at the wild air. A huge cyclone appeared as the storm intensified. It scooped Utlapa up into its midst and he was borne away out of Bella's sight. Then just as suddenly it all died. The clouds broke, the wind dropped and everything returned to peace and order. Bella stared breathlessly up into the azure blue sky. She watched the seagulls swoop down and tip their wings at her before sailing back up into the white clouds. The sea was calm again, gently brushing the rocks below the cliff face.

 _It was time to go home._

* * *

Jacob grabbed Bella's upper arms in a tight grip. He stared into her eyes, but he couldn't see her. It was a stranger looking back at him. A vicious streak of rage, like nothing he had felt before, coursed through his veins. His wolf was close to the surface. Jacob could feel it pacing, ready to be joined with him to defeat the enemy. But this wasn't a fight that he could win. He couldn't harm this intruder. She was inside Bella. He didn't know how to get her out.

"Leave." Jacob roared.

"She is already dead. You can't get her back." Cassiopeia smiled at him with Bella's lips. She used Bella's mouth to spread her poison, to slowly destroy him with her words. Her expression turned grim. "There is nothing you can do." Cassiopeia continued coolly. "There wasn't room for both of us." Her gaze drifted above his head as she locked gazes with Carlisle Cullen. "My love." She whispered as her brown eyes blazed with an inner fire. She extended one arm as if reaching. "It is time, Taha. It is our time."

Jacob released his hold on Bella as a dawning realisation filled him with horror. He stood up, raising his eyes to meet Carlisle Cullen's. It wasn't the vamp doctor staring at him through his golden brown eyes. No it was someone else. It was Taha Aki. He had been duped. Just for a brief second a smidgeon of uncertainty broke through on the vamp doctor's face as he hesitated, but then Cassiopeia called to him again and Taha Aki was lost. In the blink of an eye he left Carlisle's body and landed in Jacob's.

* * *

Bella crashed back into her body like the sea crashing against the rocks. Her soul collided with Cassiopeia's. She felt her body shake as Cassiopeia's ancient spirit ricocheted with the impact. Bella's body fell to the ground as the two women faced off against each other. Bella could see Taha Aki's third wife clearly for the first time in her subconscious. Cassiopeia wasn't hiding now. She looked old, frail. Her long black hair was streaked with grey. Her tanned face was heavily lined, but her dark eyes were still young, fresh and burnt with an inner fire.

"You see me." Cassiopeia circled around Bella. "I see you."

"Yes, I see you." Bella felt lighter than air. She copied Cassiopeia's movements, always keeping out of the older woman's reach. "Your time is over."

"My time is just beginning." Cassiopeia screeched. "I have sacrificed enough."

"You lived your life. You had your children. You made your choice. Have you forgotten why you made that sacrifice? It was to save Taha Aki, the man you love. It was to save your people. Why would you dare to destroy that now?"

Cassiopeia glared daggers at Bella. "You brought nothing but danger and misery to my descendants." She accused. "Jacob Black is weak; he allowed his love for you to endanger everyone. With Taha Aki back in control and with me to support him we will become the most powerful force in the world."

Bella was horrified. She saw the corruption that Utlapa had so gleefully pointed out. Cassiopeia had succumbed to the worst of the human emotions, in doing so she was dragging Taha Aki into the same insurmountable pit of darkness. Soon he would be wearing Utlapa's face and not his own. "I won't let you win." Bella said determinedly as she continued to circle around the older woman. "This is my body. This is my time. This is my LIFE!"

Cassiopeia felt a violent jolt tremor through her soul. She gasped, looking around wildly. She couldn't feel him. She couldn't feel Taha Aki anywhere. She tried to look through Bella's eyes to see, but there was nothing but blackness. She began to wail, crying for her lover. But he didn't respond. The ties binding her to Bella's body began to weaken. "What have you done? What have you done?" She screamed at Bella as her image began to fade.

"I wanted to live." Bella said quietly as she watched Cassiopeia vanish right before her eyes.

* * *

Taha Aki felt as light as air. His soul was exhausted. He had never factored in that Jacob had already won the fight. He couldn't possess the young Alpha's body twice. There was a price to pay for that. He would be banished to the spiritual realm for one hundred years. For a brief second he caught a glimpse of Cassiopeia. She was crying for him, her arms outstretched in despair, her face tormented. Taha Aki saw her soul shrivel as blackness consumed her. She was in Utlapa's possession now.

" _I was the first, I will be the last."_

Taha Aki spoke the truth. He was back where he had started. Bella had died and been reborn just like he had predicted. She had saved the tribe from his power hungry self. He opened his eyes and found himself sitting atop the cliff; the azure blue sky burnt his tear filled eyes as he wept for Cassiopeia. His great love was gone, hiding once again in the shadows. He would be forced to search for her all over again. Up above the seabirds swooped down, dipping their wings in a silent salute. A shadow fell across Taha Aki as he wallowed in his despair. He turned around, his tan cheeks glimmering with tears, and turned to face his wolf. The ancient warrior let out a soft sigh as his form shimmered and he once again inhabited the wolf's body. Then on silent paws he left the cliff top and began his search for Cassiopeia all over again.

* * *

"Bella?"

"Jake?"

They stared at each other for a long moment, both their eyes filled with hope, but also fear.

"Are you you?"

"I'm me. Are you?"

"I hope so."

Bella cried tears of joy. Of course it was Jacob. She would always recognise him whatever form he took. His soul was part of hers. They were one. She dropped all her shields, finally accepting in that moment that she did deserve him. That she did deserve to be loved. In seconds she was in his arms, their lips fused as he kissed her. Their tears mingled together as his fingers tangled in her hair. He lifted her right off her feet, intensifying the kiss as he swung her around and around. "I love you." Bella murmured against his mouth as she continued to kiss him, breathing him in, letting his love and strength surround her. She heard him saying it back to her and she clutched onto him, never wanting to let him go or lose this exultant feeling ever again.

Carlisle Cullen gazed at them in wonder. He wished he had some writing implements to hand so he could record his first sighting of an actual imprint taking place. It was deeply fascinating. He was so entranced by the sight that he didn't hear Esme come back into the room. It was only when he felt her arms slip around his waist that he finally tore his eyes away from the joyful young lovers. He gazed down at his beloved mate and dropped a kiss into her soft hair. It felt so good to be himself again. He fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a memory stick.

"What is on that?" Esme asked curiously.

"It's for their eyes only." Carlisle placed it on the leather sofa. He was sure that Jacob and Bella would notice it eventually. He took Esme's hand and smiled down at her, placing a kiss onto her inviting lips, before leading her silently out of the room.

 _ **A/N-thanks for reading! I hope all that made sense. I should have called this fic The Body Snatchers instead. LOL ;)**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Lost**

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

 _ **A/N-well this is the end guys. Thank you for all your kind reviews and for following this crazy story right until the very end.**_

 **Epilogue**

 _ **Six weeks later;**_

It had taken Bella a while to recover from her ordeal. Physically she was improving every day. Carlisle had been able to devise a treatment that helped her body eject the last of the venom/shifter blood mix that had still been circulating in her veins. It had taken a lot for Bella to place her trust in Carlisle again. She knew he hadn't been in control of his body when he had carried out the previous experiments on her that had been Utlapa. But still it was difficult for her to separate the two. But with Jacob constantly by her side and with the support of her dad, Billy and the pack she was able to overcome her fears and allow the vamp doctor to help.

Once she began to heal, Carlisle and Esme took their leave. There was no reason for them to stay around any longer. "I want to gather my family around me again." Carlisle told Bella and Jacob before they left. They had already been in contact with Emmet and Rosalie, but were still trying to track Alice and Jasper down. They hoped that the little psychic would see that the situation had changed and that it was safe for her to come out of hiding. "I have many apologies to make." Carlisle was full of regret. He looked toward Jacob, who had his arm around Bella. "If you ever need my assistance, you can always reach me on this number." He passed a small business card to Jacob.

"Thanks." Jacob just wanted them gone. He had no plans to ever contact the Cullen's again. He was done with them, permanently.

Esme hugged Bella goodbye before she climbed into Carlisle's Mercedes. The vamp doctor lingered for a moment longer. He gazed at Bella, his golden brown eyes full of guilt. "Live a happy life, my dear." He said to her before he finally joined his wife in the car and drove away.

Bella wondered why he looked so guilty all of a sudden, but she didn't waste her time pondering why. Jacob had screwed the business card up ready to dispose of it later. "Thank fuck they're gone." He muttered.

Bella agreed with him wholeheartedly. It was now time for them to live.

* * *

Old Quil was buried with full honours. As far as the rest of the tribe knew he had died of a heart attack. His funeral was packed. Young Quil read a eulogy to his grandfather. It was difficult for him, now knowing the full truth. Leah Clearwater had been a great support to him. The two of them had become closer over the intervening weeks and a deep friendship had developed between them. During the ceremony Quil was surrounded by family and friends. It allowed him to make peace with what had happened and gave him the strength to move on.

It wasn't only Quil who was moving on. Charlie was too. He had put up his house for sale in Forks. He was going to move onto the reservation permanently. He had already found a two bedroom apartment that suited his needs. Bella had moved in with him but Charlie knew she probably wouldn't be staying for long. With the way her relationship was progressing with Jacob he guessed she would be moving into the Black's house soon. It had taken Charlie a while to come to terms with the truth after Billy finally revealed to him what had been going on. Their friendship had been strained for a while. But Charlie was a forgiving man. He knew how much the Black family had risked to save his daughter. He couldn't stay angry for long. He'd had a long talk with his daughter and he'd made peace with the past. Like everyone else, he just wanted to look to the future.

* * *

Neither Jacob nor Bella had seen what was on the memory stick. In a way they were afraid to. It was part of Bella's past and she was anxious about what would be on it. Carlisle had assured them it was nothing bad, but still she fretted, and put off viewing what it contained. Bella had never recovered her memories about what happened on her honeymoon night. For that she was glad, and so was Jacob. If her mind had blocked it out then so be it. It was best left buried. Now she was regaining her health she just wanted to focus on the future. But eventually curiosity won over fear and Bella told Jacob she wanted to download the contents onto her laptop.

"Are you sure?" Jacob checked as he put his arm around her.

"I think I'm ready." Bella laid her head on his shoulder.

"Okay." Jacob kissed the top of her head as he watched her plug the memory stick into the USB port. It took a moment for the contents to be downloaded. When they did they were surprised to see it was a short video. "Are you certain you want to see this?" Jacob asked Bella one last time. He could see how apprehensive she looked.

"I'm ready." Bella smiled at him tremulously as she leaned forward and pressed play.

Almost at once her face appeared on screen. It was obvious she had been crying. Mascara was running down her cheeks. Her hair fell in soft shiny waves across her shoulders. Bella realised she was sitting in the back of the expensive car that Carlisle had loaned Edward to transport them in style to their honeymoon. She was wearing her blue going away dress. She must have filmed this on her cell phone. The picture was wobbling. Her hand must have been shaking.

" _There isn't much time." The Bella on the screen whispered. She sniffed back her tears and wiped her face with trembling fingers. "I didn't get to see you again Jake. I just want to say I'm so sorry for what happened. You were right in everything you said. I wish I could say this to you face to face, but this will have to do for now. I'm going to tell Edward that it's over, that I made a mistake. I shouldn't have married him. But I want to do it in private. I owe him that much. But I'll be back Jake. I promise. I hope you can forgive me. I hope you still love me. I love you. I'm going to send this to you…."_

The picture went blank.

Jacob's hand was clutching Bella's. He turned his head to look at her. She was still staring at the screen in shock. "I never got that video message, Bells. I never got it. If I had I would have come running. You know that, right."

"I know." Bella tore her eyes away from the screen and hid her face against his shoulder. She let out a choked sob before raising her head again. "I love you, Jake. I always have."

"I love you, too." Jacob said earnestly as he cradled her face in his hand and leaned forward to kiss her.

 _ **The End….**_


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